Darling Girl swatches pt 2

Hello lovelies.

Here are some more pretty colours for you from Darling Girl Cosmetics. Oh, for the love of sparkles! I'm addicted. I'll be wearing glitter eyeshadow until the day I die. Life is too short not to sparkle!

Here there are swatches of Strange & Unusual from the Ghost With The Most collection, Jacks' Lantern from the Darling Ghoul Halloween collection and Redemption.

Darling Girl colour descriptions:
Strange & Unusual - Murky lavender with strong blue flash!
Jacks' Lantern - It's a deep black base with a fiery red/orange shift. The combination looks like a blackened purple, especially when foiled.
Redemption - Sooty taupe grey with a strong gold flash.

L-R Strange & Unusual, Jacks' Lantern, Redemption.







You get 2 free sample sizes per order and also a gift with purchase (GWP)  if you spend over $10, which is a larger freebie in a little screw lid jar with a sifter. Delivery is $5 international.

Each sample bag you get - even though it has a tiny amount of product - will give you enough for 2-3 uses or more, certainly enough to tell if you want to buy a bigger size. You can buy 5 sample bags on the website for $4, which is an absolute steal.

Full sizes have 3/4 tea spoon of product in a sifter jar and cost $5.90 (about £3.65.) Petit sizes have 1/4 tea spoon of product in a sifter jar and cost $2.50 (about £1.55.) It doesn't sound like a lot of product but it goes so, so far, especially if you use a sticky base to make your shadows pop. I did swatches today using Darling Girl Glitter Glue. It makes such a difference!

I had a slight problem with Strange & Unusual. I had to use quite a lot of product to get it to show up evenly. Maybe it's a layering shadow? It certainly has a lovely flash to it and would look great over black or other dark colours. Jack's Lantern and Redemption are both utterly gorgeous.

If you're looking for unusual colours and ridiculous amounts of pigment AND on a budget, you could do no better than Darling Girl Cosmetics in my opinion. As ever, all products were bought by myself.

Did anything here take your fancy?

You can see Part 1 of my Darling Girl swatches HERE

Thanks for reading.

On being authentically you

Hello YOU!

This post goes out to bloggers, writers, and anyone who has a 'voice', even if that's only on your Facebook page, Twitter account etc.

Do you ever feel that your 'voice' isn't YOU enough? Sometimes I do.

I think when I started blogging here for (whatever reason) I felt like I couldn't really be myself, that I was 'too much' for public consumption. Gradually I've started to put that aside, and I hope my blog carries over a bit of my personality - fun-loving, slightly cheeky and passionate about pretty things, whilst muting perhaps some of the more annoying aspects of my personality - like my fondness for the F-bomb.

When you rely upon the written word to put yourself across it can be hard to decide what to put down and what to leave behind, without leaving your whole self out. It's the kind of thing that could drive you mad if you thought about it long enough, so I think you really have to go with your heart and your instinct.

The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to someone else's writing style or 'voice'. The beauty of reading a series of blogs is it's like reading loads of little magazines. The contrast is the best part of it. No one wants to read a bunch of carbon copy posts just with a different face.

You need to work out what it is that's different about you, concentrate on it and make it your USP (unique selling point.) To some people this is as easy as falling off a log, and to others (like me) it's not so easy. I'm still working on mine, but one thing's for sure - I'm the best person to put across 'me'. I'm the best person to write the magazine of my life, and you are the best person to write the magazine of your life.

Whatever it is you want to say, do it. If you have a space to say it, make the most of it. Never be put off doing something because you think someone else might be doing the same thing better. What you have to say has value. Not everyone will love what you have to say, but will resonate with someone, even if you never get to hear about it.

Thanks for reading.

Creepy Halloween OOTN Mr & Mrs

Hiya lovelies.

Here are the outfits hubby and I wore on Friday night to our friends' Halloween-themed evening wedding celebrations.










 My outfit:

Wig, ebay
Devil horns, random Halloween shop
Cardi, ebay
Top, Dorothy Perkins (over 10 years old, in a size 18, natch!)
Obi belt, ASOS
Maxi skirt, Simply Be
DM shoes, Amazon

Hubby's outfit:

Scythe and grim reaper costume, ebay.

This is hubby's first ever outfit post on the blog. Say hello to the Mr!

I used Snazaroo face paints (from ebay, bought last year) in black and white to make myself look spooky. I used black in the hollows of my cheeks, under my chins, down my neck and over my collar bones. It looked quite effective. When I took it all off at the end of the night it left my face and chest really soft and it felt moisturised. Bonus!

Are you dressing up for Halloween?

I think I'm going to do scary make up on Wednesday for Halloween even though we're not going out that night. Just for the fun of it!

Truth time ... I'm Leah and I ...

Hiya lovelies!

After reading a post by British Beauty Blogger (<--fab blogger, go read!) about older ladies in beauty it reignited a fire I've been slow-burning about feeling too old to be here, showing my fizzog and other bits on the internet. I'm sure some people would rather old birds like me would get the hell off the intuhwebz, start wearing tweed skirts and crocheting for fun. Bugger that!

I'm Leah and I am thirtychuffingeight years young.

This year has seen the start of dry crepey bags under my eyes and brown age spots on the backs of my hands. This is a right pain, because generally I've been told I always looked 10 years younger than I am ... well, in adulthood, at least!

I have approximately thirteen chins and sometimes use the fat girl angle shot (also known as the Facebook profile shot) to try to minimise them. Guilty, yer honour!

I use so much flash in my photos I stand the risk of blinding people in the next county in an attempt to hide my monobrow, 127 million freckles, the rash on my face from Fibromyalgia, and the aforementioned eye bags.

I have wrinkly knuckles from washing up without gloves (I can't stand feeling sweaty anywhere, let alone between my fingers UGH UGH UGH) and you know, from moving them to gesticulate at rude sods (always men) who yell unintelligible crap at me from speeding cars. It sounds like ARGAGAGAGAGHHHH.

I have more grey hair than is prudent to rip out.

I have tattoos in places your mother would most definitely find uncouth.

I collect nail polish despite sometimes going yonks without doing my nails.

I have enough make up to break a donkey's back despite not having a flawless canvas to paint it on.

In case these examples haven't got it across - I'm not perfect. I'm just a bird waffling about on the internet. It's just make up, not world peace. But you know what? There are a lot of other people like me who occasionally might look in the mirror sans make up and might think 'Oh, shit!' rather than 'Hubba hubba!' and that's why I'm here plugging away. Besides, I never could get the hang of crochet!

Life is too short for me to think I need to bog off because society favours the young. I'm never going to grow old gracefully. I want to be the eccentric old dear with bright hair, brighter lipstick and a massive twinkle in my eyes. I'll document my finds, take the mickey out of myself, and show you what I'm wearing despite size 10 being so far away I can't even see it, let alone fit into it! *wink*

Going forward, I'm going to be a lot less shy about showing the signs of my ageing. It happens to us all, you know? It's closer for some of us than it is others, but it's how you deal with it that matters. This ol' bird is always going to be neck deep in glitter.

In a post coming up this coming week I'll show you my age-spotted mitts and talk about a great SPF hand lotion I've found to help combat them.

How do you feel about your own ageing?
Do you feel angry when you think about older ladies being expected to take a back seat in beauty?

Barry M teal 334 NOTD/Barry M discount code

Hello lovelies.

Here's my latest mani, Barry M 334 which is a lovely shade of teal.




It's opaque in 2 coats, but looks less opaque because of the flash. There are some visible brush strokes, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm far too busy admiring the colour.

Barry M are cruelty free.

Thanks for reading!

Wants - hibernation time!

Hello lovelies!

The early dark nights and extra chill in the air are making me want to hibernate with a humongous pile of books, lots of warm clothing and lots of carbs. Here is my wintry lust list.

I love this skirt. It's £35 from Simply Be.


I need a onesie. This one looks right up my street. It's £22 from Simply Be.


I've had my eye on this cardi for a couple of months now. It's £25 from Yours.


I love those plum jeans in the photo too.

What have you got your eyes on to see you through Autumn/Winter?

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I had my one and only filling replaced today. That tooth doesn't hurt, but a few teeth on the bottom row under it (where the dentist was resting his grip) does. At least the tooth was saved. Apparently the decay under the filling was quite deep and I could tell he was excavating close to the nerve as it was getting a bit ouchy. Hopefully this will do the trick and I won't need root canal! Eeeeek.

I started to read the Harry Potter books for the first time EVER today. I wanted to wait for them all to be out so I could go about it in my usual obsessive way and read them all as quickly as possible. When I mentioned to my cousin last week I wanted to read the books he kindly lent me the first 4. I've read 82 pages in a couple of hours so far this evening.


Eastenders and Holby are on tonight so that'll keep me out of mischief for a while.

I hope your week is going well so far.

A little catch up

Hi all.

I'd like to make an apology for the lack of err...content in the blog this last week or so. I didn't do a weekly photo post yesterday as I only took about 4 photos all week. So here's what I've been doing:

  • Today I left the soap drawer of the washing machine open and flooded the kitchen. I used all but 2 of the towels in my possession to mop it up. Who knew that if you allow air into a washing machine the suds multiply by about 100?! It was like the jacuzzi/bubble bath interface from hell.
  • I spent the weekend with my family in Kent. I wanted to go see my uncle as he had a heart attack about a month ago. Luckily, he's totally fine now but it has knocked his confidence in life for six. We spent 4 hours with him on Saturday and it was really lovely to see him and make sure he's doing OK. We stayed with my dad's sister for the weekend and it was really good. We caught up with that side of the family - my dad, my aunt, my cousins (and my cousin Martin's two kids). We watched a few films over the weekend and Martin lent me the first 4 Harry Potter books as I've never read them. (I was waiting for them all to be out before I did.) On Sunday we went to lunch with my brother, his girlfriend and her two lovely girls at their house. It was SO nice to catch up with everyone, it was just a shame that I didn't get to see any of my friends back home as time was so tight.

Little C is 7 and is as lovely as can be. I think this was only the 4th time I've met her and she's gradually got more cuddly and affectionate each time. The last two times we've seen her she sulked a tiny bit when I had to leave, bless her. I made up a bedtime story for her on Saturday night. My cousin, my dad and hubby were in the living room peeing themselves laughing at my tale of her being a princess living in a pink castle with a pink lake full of poisonous marshmallows (she hates marshmallows) and having Slipknot and One Direction play at the castle (she likes both bands.) Harry Styles was her slave. He had to brush and plait her hair and wash her feet. She had pet unicorns who farted fire (but shit glitter) and horses with love hearts on their bums. She loved it and I had loads of fun making it up.
  • I have been feeling a little under the weather. I'm anaemic quite often and this is one of those times. I've just been round Tesco and it's been a struggle finding the breath for a slow amble around the aisles. I'm really tired, so tired that I'm actually sleeping well at night, which is rare for me. It doesn't actually make any difference, because I still feel wrung out. The last month has been very stressful for several reasons (especially because of the leak) and I really feel like I need a mini holiday to recover.
  • I've been preparing for the horror/Halloween themed wedding we're going to this weekend. I'm going as Morticia and hubby is going as the Grim Reaper. Here's my wig.

What's new with you? Did you have a good weekend?

Excellent resources to explain chronic pain

Hiya loves!

I swear this is the last time I'm going to talk about all things health for a while.

However, should any of you have a chronic pain condition or know someone who does, I have a couple of excellent sources of information for you.

This first one I saw on Facebook here.

1. People with chronic pain seem unreliable (we can’t count on ourselves). When feeling better we promise things (and mean it); when in serious pain, we may not even show up.

2. An action or situation may result in pain several hours later, or even the next day. Delayed pain is confusing to people who have never experienced it.

3. Pain can inhibit listening and other communication skills. It’s like having someone shouting at you, or trying to talk with a fire alarm going off in the room. The effect of pain on the mind can seem like attention deficit disorder. So you may have to repeat a request, or write things down for a person with chronic pain. Don’t take it personally, or think that they are stupid.

4. The senses can overload while in pain. For example, noises that wouldn’t normally bother you, seem too much.

5. Patience may seem short. We can’t wait in a long line; can’t wait for a long drawn out conversation.

6. Don’t always ask “how are you” unless you are genuinely prepared to listen it just points attention inward.

7. Pain can sometimes trigger psychological disabilities (usually very temporary). When in pain, a small task, like hanging out the laundry, can seem like a huge wall, too high to climb over. An hour later the same job may be quite OK. It is sane to be depressed occasionally when you hurt.


8. Pain can come on fairly quickly and unexpectedly. Pain sometimes abates after a short rest. Chronic pain people appear to arrive and fade unpredictably to others.

9. Knowing where a refuge is, such as a couch, a bed, or comfortable chair, is as important as knowing where a bathroom is. A visit is much more enjoyable if the chronic pain person knows there is a refuge if needed. A person with chronic pain may not want to go anywhere that has no refuge (e.g.no place to sit or lie down).

10. Small acts of kindness can seem like huge acts of mercy to a person in pain. Your offer of a pillow or a cup of tea can be a really big thing to a person who is feeling temporarily helpless in the face of encroaching pain.

11. Not all pain is easy to locate or describe. Sometimes there is a body-wide feeling of discomfort, with hard to describe pains in the entire back, or in both legs, but not in one particular spot you can point to. Our vocabulary for pain is very limited, compared to the body’s ability to feel varieties of discomfort.


12. We may not have a good “reason” for the pain. Medical science is still limited in its understanding of pain. Many people have pain that is not yet classified by doctors as an officially recognized “disease”. That does not reduce the pain, – it only reduces our ability to give it a label, and to have you believe us.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN. If anyone knows the author I would love to credit them.
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The second resource I found was from this Wiki How page on dealing with chronic pain. It has many great points.
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Both articles are invaluable for people like me who are struggling to convey the issues of the condition(s) they're dealing with. They are also great for people who want to educate themselves about the pain conditions their loved ones are dealing with. Let's not forget these illnesses don't just affect us, but everyone close to us.Education leads to understanding and support, and that is a wonderful thing!

OK, I promise to concentrate on all that's glittery and pretty for a while now.

Thanks for reading!

How an older lady does her make up

Hiya!

Today is one of those days where I hate my face, hate the make up I did and wish digital photography and the internet were in my life 10 years ago, when I was less old and ragged.

Let's start the clock at 9am, although that's a bold lie, as I'm never out of bed before 10 am when I can help it.

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09.00 - Sit at dressing table. Open curtains. Spy crusty seagull shit which has been on window for months. Mental note to find a window cleaner. Sometime.

09.01 - Pick up mirror. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Accidentally looked in magnifying side, now scarred for life.

09.02 - Wish I had gin to calm my nerves after seeing that. I don't even like gin.

09.03 - Turn mirror round the right way, swearing to score through the other side so I can't get a fright like that again. Ugh. Pores! My eyebrows need plucking.

Approximately 3 weeks later - Brows are plucked. Curse taking after my dark haired dad and not taking after my blonde mum, then remember it could be worse. My mum is 4 ft 8. No, she really is!

09.10 - Look at plucked visage which now resembles a weather-beaten Cornish seafarer.

09.11 - Curse not being this vain when I was 20.

09.12 - Rake through enormous drawers of make up looking for the wonder treatment which'll make me look 20. If only.

09.13 - Pick up eye shadow brushes, inspect for fluff. Contemplate cleaning, but think 'Stuff it, it'll do for one more go.'

09.14 - Slap on some eyelid primer and dollop on a randomly picked eyeshadow.

09.15 - Curse having hooded eyes. Apply 6 feet more eye shadow so people can see it when my eyes are open.

09.16 - IS THAT A HAIR SPROUTING FROM MY CHIN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

09.17 - Yes it is. Mother Nature, you absolute twatbucket.

09.18 - Blend eye shadow in frenzied window-wiper motion while one solitary tear slips down my left cheek.

09.19 - Am I sure there's no gin?

09.20 - Apply mascara. Realise mascara is getting a bit dry. It's all right, I have another 6.

09.21 - Don't apply to bottom lashes. Alice Cooper look is soooo 1970.

09.22 - Fill in brows, thanking the sweet baby Jesus I stopped over plucking before I had Gary Glitter brows. Shudder.

09.23 Contemplate which of my 3 foundations will fill in the cracks. Wonder why Polyfilla don't go into cosmetics.

09.24 - Dob face liberally with foundation, hoping the slapping action will make me look plump-cheeked and youthful, not post-gin.

09.25 - Work it all in with a stipple brush. I seem to have misplaced my trowel.

09.26 - Poke self in eye with stipple brush. Solitary tear flows down right cheek. Alice Cooper's not such a bad look after all when both eyes match.

09.27 - Buff in with stiff bristled brush.

09.28 - My face tickles. Look in mirror, 27 thick black hairs shed from brush gives me a look into the future - how I will look when I'm 62 and those hairs from my chin have migrated North.

09.29 - Weep silently.

09.30 - Rake around in lipstick drawer for something that'll make my teeth look Simon Cowell-esque.

09.31 - Apply lipstick. Smile into mirror. Vow never to do it in public again.

09.32 - Ta da! Done.

09.33 - Take the long walk to the kitchen in search of gin. No gin. Eff you universe!

09.34 - Eat Tunnock's Teacakes I've been saving for my dad. Screw foil wrappers up in a futile rage, knowing it's only going to get worse with age.

09.35 - Online shopping. One litre of gin.

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If you did a time line like this, what would be on it?

Thanks for reading!


Darling Girl Swatches Pt 1/Better swatches

Hi lovelies!

Here I have some Darling Girl Cosmetics swatches for you.

About my swatches.

I'll admit, my swatches haven't always been good. Some of the swatches I've done in the past have been too small and not bright enough. However, I have a new strategy. Firstly, now I've bought some Darling Girl Glitter Glue, my swatches pop a lot more. Secondly, I've given up trying to swatch on the back of my hand, it just isn't enough room. I can't use my inner left arm any more since I had my memorial tattoo to baby. Thirdly, I shave the back of my arm and do my swatches there. I shave because there are 17 million freckles on my arms, and I don't want hairs in there as well taking emphasis away from the swatches. Lastly, Sellotape! Using tape on my arm means my swatches are neater.

These 3 colours were free with my last order. There are a lot of photos as I try to capture the complexity of each shade. As far as I can tell 'Frozen In Fear' isn't for sale, it was a free gift with purchase for spending over $10. You can find Move Like Mick Jagger here and Bronze Goddess Shimmer Blush here.

These swatches were done over Darling Girl Glitter Glue, which really made everything pop.

L-R Frozen in Fear GWP, Moves Like Mick Jagger, Bronze Goddess blush.



Moves Like Mick Jagger

Bronze Goddess.

Moves Like Mick Jagger is so pretty with those blue sparkles in there. Frozen In Fear is just stunning and Bronze Goddess might be something I'd wear in summer. It looks like it'd flatter warm skin tones like mine.

I have lots more colours to show you, which I will do a few shades at a time as I feel it's not overwhelming that way. I don't know about you, but when someone swatches a zillion shades at once it makes my head hurt. Maybe that's just me, though ;)

Keep your eyes out for part 2! Also coming up I'll do a comparison of swatches with and without glitter glue so you can see what the difference is.

Thanks for reading!

Depression Awareness month/Small accomplishments

Hiya lovelies!

October is Depression Awareness Month. I started to write a post about it a week or so ago and abandoned it because I lacked the words to articulate it sufficiently. Today I came across a post by the blogger Scrangie which says everything I wanted to say and then some. Please, if you know someone with depression and want to know more or have it yourself and lack the words to express yourself to others, go look -  Depression Awareness.

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After yesterday's post about feeling scared about my mental state because of Fibro fog, I'm pleased to say I feel better today. Today was looking like a crap day, but rather than letting myself become engulfed in it, I decided to try my best to turn it around. First, I did some yoga. I felt really tired when I started, but I decided to put all my anger about my health situation into it. I managed a really energetic workout where I kicked the effing crap out of Fibromyalgia metaphorically speaking. After that I felt pretty proud of myself and I got a lot of things done afterwards.

I managed to shave my legs, give myself a foot scrub and moisturise myself from top to toe today. These are things the average person may take for granted, but for me they're a special effort. It's unusual for me to find the energy for ONE of those tasks a week fortnight month, let alone three in a day. So there I was wrist deep in shaving foam in serious danger of cutting myself during a fit of the giggles. I knew that other disabled people would get the stupidity of the situation. It's almost as if I deserve a medal for thinking:

Whoo! I did yoga, did some personal care, packed away the spare quilts/pillows from my parents' visit, laundered the covers, cleaned some of the kitchen and bathroom, and cooked myself a healthy evening meal. Go me!

As ludicrous as it seems to feel accomplished for doing a few chores and making myself look and feel a lot less beastly than usual, I'm high-fiving myself. I'm no Felix Baumgartner, but I'll take my mercies small and when I can get them. 

Tomorrow is a new day. I'll take it as it comes. It's all we can do, isn't it?

Thanks for reading.

Darling Girl order/How to avoid customs charges

Hello loves!

It may come as no surprise to anyone that I am a little obsessed with make up. I'm addicted to sparkles. Someone who does sparkles very well is Susan from Darling Girl Cosmetics. DGC are based in America. There is every colour you could possibly imagine on the website and then some. Furthermore, her products are phenomenal value for money, as her eyeshadows are so finely milled that you only need the tiniest amount to strike the wow factor. You literally need product smaller than a match head to cover both whole eyes. You get 2 free sample sizes per order and a gift with purchase if you spend over $10, which is a larger freebie in a little screw lid jar with a sifter. Delivery is $5 international.

Here is my latest order. Susan was kind enough to include some Halloween bits and bobs, including some candy corn, which I scoffed!

Every order gets 2 samples and a small gift with purchase, which varies weekly.

5 samples are $4 to buy, about £2.50.

I bought a glitter fixative, a mini lip gloss and 2 shadows.

Each sample bag - even though it has a tiny amount of product - will give you enough for 2-3 uses or more, certainly enough to tell if you want to buy a bigger size. Full sizes have 3/4 tea spoon of product in a sifter jar and cost $5.90 (about £3.65.) Petit sizes have 1/4 tea spoon of product in a sifter jar and cost $2.50 (about £1.55.) It doesn't sound like a lot of product but it goes so, so far, especially if you use a sticky base to make your shadows pop. I did some swatches today using the Glitter Glue from this order and OH MY DAYS does it make a difference! I have some swatches coming up in my next post so you can see what I mean.

How to avoid paying customs fees on purchases from the US.

All my orders from Darling Girl (including this one) cost below $18 INCLUDING POSTAGE (which is about £11.20), because $18 is the threshold for not being charged import duty. Anything costing over $18 stands the risk of being opened by UK customs, and then you get charged. For example, once I ordered from America and spent about $19 by accident, and customs charged me £11! That's doubling the amount I'd spent. Bollocks to that. Don't fall prey to the customs man, be crafty like me :) Lots of little orders rather than one big one will save you lots of money.

My next post has some swatches for you.

Do you ever buy things from abroad?

Darling Girl is cruelty free.

Text post - Scared

Hi-ho!

This is going to be a bit of an offload-y post so please feel free to skip this one.

This week has been really hard on me and it's given me a look into my future. It's been a really stressful week, the kind of stress that puts knots in your tummy and gives you diarrhoea from worry. I mentioned briefly in my weekly photo update blog how I'd had problems with my memory this week. I'm scared shitless, to be honest.

The phrase I've said most this weekend is 'I can't remember.' From Tuesday to Thursday is a blur. I couldn't tell you what I did unless I've written it down in my blog. Not only has the day-to-day stuff disappeared from memory but I've completely forgotten how to get somewhere, even with the aid of Google maps on my phone. Imagine trying to go somewhere you've been dozens of times before and suddenly realising you don't know how to get there any more. It's frustrating, it's scary and it's horrible. When I couldn't find my way to Tesco with my mum and step dad on Friday, he kept saying 'Do I turn left or right here?' over and over again and I couldn't tell him. More than that, I couldn't get my bearings where we were at any given time. It was like I'd been dropped into a place I'd never been to before and expected to navigate. I've lived here for 8 bloody years!


More than that, I'm becoming more and more insular. Having Fibromyalgia is like having a hive of bees in your head. It feels like there's already so much noise in my head that the slightest distraction is too much to bear. If the tv is on and someone talks to me I can't keep track of what they're saying. This weekend has really highlighted things. My step dad is deaf in one ear so will start talking over everyone else and my mum is always talking (I wouldn't change her for the world!), so I can't keep up with all the conversation and it makes me feel as if I'm being rude or ignorant. The honest truth is people who talk a lot or people who talk all at once tire me out because the cogs in my brain don't seem to move fast enough. I used to be a right chatterbox but now there's so much noise in my head I'm usually silent. I often pause halfway through a sentence as I've forgotten what I said 4 words ago. I can't stand busy/noisy places any more because the noise builds up in and out of my head and makes me want to scream. I still want to be around people - I just feel like I need 5 quiet minutes to myself to decompress every now and then, which is awkward when I need to excuse myself from my own sofa!

When a time like this comes along - when the semblance of health I do have starts to slip further away from me - it scares the living shit out of me. What am I going to be like in 5 years? Will I be a gibbering wreck? Is it wrong for me to want to be a mum when my health is on a greased downward slide to hell?

I don't know what the answers are. I don't know what my future is. All I know is, being a person with invisible illnesses is tough to prove to the doubting fools, tough to prove to the medical profession, tough to explain to friends and family, and even tougher to live with.

Thanks for reading.

Instagram photos up to 14th October

Hiya lovelies!

Here's this week's round up of photos.

Home//tiny snail on a postbox//Darling Girl packaging//preparing herbs to freeze//Candy Corn.
 
Hastings Old Town building//flowers from my mum & stepdad//magazine freebies x2//new jumper from my mum.
Burnt out Hastings Pier//road markings//Hastings cliffs//sea wall/Egerton Park Bexhill.
This week has been the most fraught I can remember for years. I've lost entire days from stress. Tuesday to Thursday has just gone, apart from the stuff I've written here and can look back on to remind me. I couldn't even find my way to the supermarket on Friday. I was trying to direct my step dad there and couldn't brain it, even using Google maps! Inside my head is a scary place at times. Its so frustrating because it's out of my control. Sheer panic sets in when I can no longer remember something I knew the day before, or last week, or that I've known for my whole life previously.

Luckily a shitty week has been countered by a really lovely weekend with my mum and step dad. They came down on Friday morning, and presented me with two bunches of flowers as they came in the door. Aside from Tesco hiding behind a very large magician's cape (I have to see the funny side!) we had a lovely time. We ended up in Sainsbury's in the end, where my mum bought me a new jumper, which I'll show you in an outfit post soon. We went to a couple of museums as the ol' dears love them, and we're pretty fond too.

Yesterday we went to Hastings Old Town. It was raining cats and dogs. We went in the Shipwreck museum, which is really good and free to get in. It's jam-packed full of information and maritime artefacts, if they float your boat (pun intended.) They have a really well stocked gift shop there full of seaside themed goodies, it's really lovely. After that we went for a walk by the beach. We were going to Bonfire Night last night (Hastings has its bonfire 3 weeks early as it commemorates the Battle of Hastings) but we were so stiff and achy from being rained on all afternoon we gave it a miss.

Today we went to Bexhill Museum, which is well worth the £3 entry fee. The volunteers there were all very enthusiastic and helpful and it's crammed full of a wide variety of bits and bobs - everything from a Citroen C5 to an enormous crab. After that we had a walk round the park the museum faces onto, then had some well-needed nosh in a local cafe, as we were starving.

I hope you had a great weekend?

Did you do anything fun?

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Hello lovelies!

I hope you're all having a great weekend.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. You may be seeing lots of pink products online, in blogs and in the shops. As well as raising money for breast cancer charities, it's really important to catch it early.

Please click through and have a look at the Breast Cancer Care awareness page if you need help in how to know what's normal and what's abnormal with your chesticles.

I'll fess up. I don't check my breasts half as regularly as I should. When I was 15 I had a lump in my breast that really hurt. I went to the doctors and it was a cyst, thankfully. I took some tablets and it dispersed but I had that sheer panic. All that taken into consideration I'm a TOTAL FOOL for not checking my breasts properly.

Your Man is a cheeky little app where dishy men remind you it's time to check your boobaloos. You can set a reminder of your choice or at random. I've picked a monthly reminder for about a week after my period. You can get in for Android phones or for iPhones and it's totally free.

Please bear in mind MEN can get breast cancer too, so while you're checking yourself out, inform the men in your lives too. There should be absolutely no stigma attached to men checking their chests, so please spread the word.

To be perfectly honest I wish there was more awareness of all cancers.

I lost my nan to gall bladder cancer which spread to her liver and in 18 months she was gone. Hugs to anyone who's been touched by cancer - those who survived, those who died and all of those affected.

x x x

News anchor DESTROYS bully on air

Hiya lovelies!

Here's a video I just saw on Tumblr and I've reposted it everydamnwhere.

If you've ever been bullied, if you know anyone who's been bullied - especially if it was about appearance - this is essential and compelling viewing.



Ooh, that's gotta burn! You tell him, lady!

Bullies are weak. Bullies suck. You are better than a bully. If you're being bullied and you live in the UK, please talk to someone.

Bullying UK

Samaritans

Childline

Please share the video and spread the word that bullying - no matter what age a person is - is NOT OK.  My hope is that every person out there being bullied could have a Jennifer Livingston figure in their life to kick arse for them. Hugs to anyone who's ever been bullied, or who is being bullied. 

Thanks for reading.

OOTD - My favourite dress

Hello all!

I hope you had a lovely weekend and are settled into the new week.

I realised the other day the dress I wear most often has never been featured in an outfit of the day. There's not a week goes by where I don't wear it. I bought it from Yours a couple of years ago and it's almost become my uniform!

Without further ado, here are the pics. I have a comfy bra on not an underwired one so I look like I have no boobs. ;)





Dress, Yours Clothing
Cardigan, George at Asda
Scarf, stall in the town centre
Bag, Yours Clothing
Hair bow, New Look

Thanks for reading!