From the Mariana Trench to Mount Everest

This week has been one of hideous lows and the highest highs. In the early hours of last Saturday my mum had emergency surgery as some of you will have read/seen on Facebook. She is now doing well and I'm going to stay with her for a few days from tomorrow. YAY!

On Tuesday I went to see a rheumatologist who confirmed for once and for all I have Fibromyalgia. He is writing to my GP to suggest some painkillers (I've had no painkillers for Fibro pains and it's been over 4 years now) and an increase in my anti depressants as they ain't cutting the mustard. No mustard is being cut! Good things are a-comin' once my meds are sorted.

On Tuesday evening I was taking photos of the lovely sunset on my mobile phone...

...when I went to get my SLR and the sun room door was caught by a gust of wind and slammed shut on my heel.

Language ensued. Most intense pain ever. I nearly threw up. Luckily J was home from work and mopped up all the blood and guts.

It's hard to tell since it's swollen so much, but that's my ankle. It's kinda festering a bit now, I should've gone to the hospital, but I couldn't face it, this being the week of 2 consultant appointments, blood tests, 24 hour urine collections an' all.

On Wednesday I strapped up my foot, put on my big girl panties and went into town to see my girls and got my labret piercing redone so it's healed in time for the wedding. (It had to be removed when I was in hospital having my fallopian tube removed, and by the time I was out of my morphine coma it had healed up).

No, I haven't lost lots of weight, my glasses genuinely are huge :)

Those babies are from Poundland, and they also do them in hot pink, which I shall also be purchasing soon. They shall be funky photography props for the wedding reception shenanigans.

Today I had to go to a different hospital to see my gynae consultant. I have 2 ovarian cysts and one of them has changed in appearance in the last 4 months. I was expecting to be told they would monitor the situation, but instead the Dr said they would have to remove my ovary if the cysts don't disappear in the next 3 months as there is a very small chance they could turn cancerous or be a sign of impending cancer. As there is a fair amount of bleeding and pain going on too, it needs to be addressed even taking the possibility of cancer out of the equation. It would be somewhat miraculous if they disappear on their own.

I was pretty shocked to be honest, as I wasn't prepared to be told I'd need an op. As a woman of a certain age who wants to be a mum there is a level of disappointment in being told I'm losing half of my eggs. I don't believe the NHS freezes eggs so my chances of being a mum are slipping away from me a little. At least it feels that way.

I immediately fell into a slump and just wanted to sleep. The fatigue and misery came over me like a concrete blanket. There have been too many knocks recently, too much wedding stress and now the worry about my mum.

I wrote a little note on Facebook this afternoon saying how I felt and the lovely caring comments came in. People are inherently good.

There have been so many kindnesses shown to me this week - so much care about my mum who a lot of my friends haven't even met, offers of help, and actual help from a couple of lovely people. This week has already been a reaffirmation of the beauty and kindness of the human spirit, but what came into my inbox on Facebook today blew me away. One of my friends offered to be a surrogate mum for me if I ever need it and another offered to be my egg donor. These aren't throw away sentiments, they are offers of putting themselves through pain and suffering (9 months of discomfort in the case of surrogacy!) to help me, should I ever need it.

I am humbled beyond words. 

Metaphorically speaking I'm stood mouth gaping, lips flapping in the wind and scratching my head trying to take in the enormity of what has been offered to me. To me, little ol' me. Surely I'm not worthy of such kindnesses?!

This is why I say I've been from the Mariana Trench to the summit of Everest. There have been so many highs and lows this week, but overall the sentiment is people are amazing and this blog is definitely ending on a high note thanks to all the wonderful people in my life. How has your week been?

For the sake of your tickers, I hope it hasn't been quite as hardcore as mine! ;)


  1. WOW! What offers! You're a lucky lady to have such wonderful people in your life. Hope you don't have to take up the offers though.