Some more thoughts about being bipolar

I've had some thoughts about bipolar on my mind for a while. It's different for everyone but I want to talk about MY bipolar.

For me bipolar means a lot of pretending, both to others and myself. Pretending I'm ok, pretending this hasn't changed my whole life, pretending I don't notice the people who've abandoned me as they don't know what to say. Pretending everything is rosy and a whirlwind of fun when there are a lot of moments where I'm lower than a sausage dog's knackers.

It involves a LOT of positive thought and planning for happy times in the future as some moments are so bleak as to be breathtaking. There have to be things to look forward to to get me through the days.

There's a HELL of a lot of restlessness. There is a very slim window of feeling at ease in my own brain and skin now. I'm too happy or too sad, rarely if EVER on an even keel. But it's a physical restlessness too. I fidget a lot. I hate people who dilly dally - if I'm going to be doing something shortly I want to get going NOW. I also have to walk and exercise every day or I'll burst from inactivity.

Sadly this means I'm not always patient now and I hate it. I'm also irritable a lot, which upsets those around me, which upsets me. It's like I have no filter any more. My words come out harshly without meaning to.

My bipolar does still involve some gratuitous spending around my period, but nowhere near as badly as when I was with James.

It also brings a very high sex drive. Awkward when I'm as single as a pringle! (But I AM dating and I have some dating posts planned!)

It makes me a very NOW person. My feelings are so intense that there's little past and future. The now is so intense that it blots out a lot.

My memory is AWFUL! I live second to second and constantly need reminding of the plans I've made. @mookie7x7 is like my PA, she knows what's going on in my life better than I do!

My concentration is also awful. I can't read, I can hardly blog. My thoughts come so fast I can't catch them. I can't read and I can barely watch tv. The best way to describe bipolar to you (my bipolar at least) is like having an electric current running through you, vibrating so loudly that you can't concentrate on anything, can't cope with anything.

But it's not all bad. 😁 There's a lot of old me left in there. My humour. My sense of fun. My old friends are here for me and new ones too. It is a struggle but I'm still me. If you have a bipolar person in your life, be gentle with them. They're battling to feel at one with their brain every day. You may not understand it, but please try to be there for them. People with bipolar have a high risk of suicide and need a lot of support.

Never doubt the risk of bipolar suicide. Many studies indicate a 15% rate of suicide amongst individuals with bipolar disorder. This rate is about 30 times higher than than that of the general population. 

Do you know anyone who has bipolar?

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

How Can You Manage Your Health Using Technology?*

Technology in the modern world is incredible, and is advancing at an impressive rate. One area that’s really taken off is tech for health, and these days it’s easy to monitor, track and improve our health right from our computers or smartphones. Here are a few of the ways you can keep tabs on your health using modern technology.

Photo sourced from this website

Use an Online Doctor

Healthcare in the UK is fantastic, however there’s a significant amount of stress on the system. For this reason when you’re feeling unwell, it could be a few days before you’re even able to be seen by your GP. If you don’t fancy sitting in the walk in centre for four hours, you could use an online dr app. These are real doctors and are able to prescribe medication and diagnose any problems via video chat, allowing you to quickly and conveniently speak to a doctor from the comfort of your home. You don’t have to take any time off work or risk getting ill at the doctors surgery, it’s a fantastic convenient way to manage your health.

Order From an Online Pharmacy

You don’t necessarily need to speak to an online doctor, in many cases you can speak to a pharmacist at an online chemist. These can prescribe various medications that aren’t available over the counter, or can send you your repeat prescription. You save yourself a doctor’s visit and therefore save yourself time and hassle. It goes without saying you should use a legitimate, fully licensed online pharmacy so do your research before placing an order.

Utilise Health Apps

There are tonnes of great health apps out there that can help you manage specific health conditions, your weight, diet or anything else. Have a look in the app store and see what kinds of things will suit you. For diet, weight and fitness tracking apps like MyFitnessPal are useful, Apple also have things like scales which can sync data right to your phone. If you have a condition like diabetes, apps can make it easy to keep track of your blood sugar readings, they can even help you track and remind you to take your medication.

Use a Fitness Tracker

Fitness tracking bands like Fitbit track things like your heart rate and sleep, letting you know exactly how much activity and the quality of sleep you’re getting. They sync to your phone and show the results in easy to read charts and graphs. They can show you where you need to improve, motivate you to work harder when you exercise and generally help you to keep track of your health. You wear them on your wrist just like you would a regular watch so are no hassle to wear. Plus since they tell the time too, they’re a simple replacement for your ordinary timepiece. As you can get different, interchangeable bands they will suit any style.

Do you utilise technology to manage your health? Have you used any of the above, and if so what’s your opinion on it?

*collaborative post

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

New Look velvet kimono

Hello my lovelies!

It's been a while since I did an outfit post here, so here's one from a month ago when I was in the midst of bipolar induced throwing up and cut a slightly smaller figure. This kimono was gifted to me by an amazing Instagram follower who sent me a HUGE care package after my break up with James. I've been so lucky in that respect - I've been sent SO many wonderful things by friends and social media buds alike.

Sadly this kimono is no longer for sale online as we've gone straight into heavy coat weather, but I liked this outfit and wanted to share it anyway.

I'm wearing:
Kimono, New Look Curves
Vest and boots, old
Leggings ASOS

I hope you're all well!
Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

For The Love Of Blogging*

How many times have you heard someone say that they are starting to write a novel, only for you to enquire about it three months later and their enthusiasm has waned? It’s the same with blogging. Only the most ardent and passionate of bloggers tend to generate a loyal following and keep up the posting momentum. Friends have begun blogs only to quit them after four posts and a fortnight because they didn’t get a single follower. It takes a bit more effort and a lot more time before you spy your first follower.

We all know about SEO, keywording and AdWords. They are great at getting your little piece of the Internet noticed and can give you an important leg up in the ever-crowded world of the blogosphere. However, don’t lose sight of what your personal blog is all about and why you started it in the first place. It could be a release, a stress reliever or a comfort to express your thoughts. It might be your vehicle to let off steam, voice your opinions and hopefully locate fellow like-minded individuals across the globe. Don’t begin to treat it like a business or a quest for validation. If you have the commitment and passion, and you keep writing, followers will come. Everyone who has a personal piece of the web does so for the love of blogging.

For The Love Of Blogging
Image By


Your blog is a little piece of you. You’re opening up a little window to your likes, dislikes, passions, thoughts and emotions. It’s not unusual to spend hours, maybe even days, trying to come up with the perfect name for your blog that encompasses what your series of posts will be about. You could venture onto a domain name forum to seek advice on the best sorts of website names for your style of blog. You could find bargain domain names for sale that are already active and generate traffic. This could give you a head start in establishing an audience from the get-go.

For the love of blogging 2
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Your Skills

Writing and finding your voice is a skill in itself. It may take you a few weeks or even some months before you can call yourself an established blogger. It’s great when you can begin to contribute to other top quality blogs with a guest post, and after reading it, your followers could tell that it’s written by you. You may have a certain turn of phrase, a witty or sarcastic nature or a tone that others instantly recognise. Putting this into your writing will be like second nature to you, and you won’t even have to think about it. There's nothing better than reading a comment from someone saying how you've made them laugh, brightened up their day or changed their way of thinking.

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Becoming Influential

There are many bloggers out there who begin by posting for the love of blogging who then morph into the most influential writers on the Internet. Their following is so vast that companies want these bloggers to review their products and then write about them. The process is very transparent, and the most reputable bloggers will state that they are writing a sponsored post or have been given a set of earplugs or a pair of running shoes for free to review. While you may not want to go down this route, you could find yourself establishing a secure second income should you wish to review products.

If you’d rather stick to the pure nature of blogging, then do just that. Established travel blogger Nomadic Matt is well known for not taking on sponsored posts or reviewing anything for free. He uses first-hand experience to fuel his writing, and his blog is seen as a more trustworthy source for travellers because of it. He remains one of the most influential travel bloggers out there.

Stick With It

If you’re just starting out on your blogging journey and you’re looking for inspiration, just write what you know. Vent, share and express. Use the power of words to convey your message even if it feels like your writing into the ether for your first few posts. This doesn’t make your writing any less readable, and the followers will come if you regularly write, share your new posts on social media and network with other bloggers by leaving comments and guest posting.

Everyone has a story to tell - it’s up to you to get sharing and stick with it for the love of blogging. 

*collaborative post

Wardrobe Essentials to Keep You Snug as a Bug This Winter*

Wardrobe Essentials to Keep You Snug as a Bug This Winter
Photo Source

Winter is here, and things are only set to get colder as the year goes on. So, it’s time to put away your shorts and tees and start opting for layers of cosier clothes. After all, fashion now has to be aesthetically pleasing and practical at the same time. If you ignore this, you could end up finding yourself shivering and questioning why you didn’t put more thought into your outfit choice. Here are a few essentials to stock your wardrobe up with to keep you snug as a bug over the coming months.


First things first, you’re going to need to invest in one or two trusty winter coats. Remember that there’s a big difference between a coat and jacket. The first will maintain a lot more heat and
ensure you’re a whole lot more comfortable out in the elements. Opt for insulating materials and fabrics such as wool. This is a firm winter favourite, as it keeps your body heat in and can withstand windy elements. If you find that there tends to be a lot of rain, frost and snow in your region, you will want to ensure that you have a waterproof alternative too. Windbreakers are particularly great and are the latest big hit in streetwear this season. So consider outdoorsy brands such as North Face. A hood is always a great feature, and black colours draw as much heat as possible from your environment.

Scarves and gloves

It’s time to accessorise! When it comes to women’s accessories to keep you warm this winter, scarves and gloves have to top the list. For milder days, consider silk scarves. This will protect your neck and lower face from sharp, biting winds, but won’t cause you to overheat. For colder and harsher days, opt for chunky wool knits or thick, soft cashmere. Now for your hands. You need a reliable pair of gloves to avoid numb fingers. Often you will be able to find a pair to perfectly match your chosen scarf. Alternatively, you might like to try out some faux leather gloves for a more sophisticated look.


Most of your body heat is lost from your head. So wear a hat! Many people are hesitant when it comes to wearing hats. They worry that they can’t find a style that suits them. But there are so many varieties available that there’s bound to be something out there that’s perfect for your aesthetic. Berets offer timeless chic, bobble hats are cute and cosy, and flat caps can be the perfect addition to any country style outfit.


Okay, you don’t wear this one, but it can definitely help you to get from A to B without arriving dripping wet. An umbrella is an absolute essential in the winter seasons. So why not have a little
fun with it. Of course, a plain black umbrella will be simple and match any outfit, but there are so many fun designs out there that you can’t help but dabble! Consider love heart shaped umbrellas, quirky prints and designer labels. If you ensure that you have all of these things tucked away in your wardrobe, you’re bound to have a much warmer, cosier and drier time in the coming months!

*collaborative post

September photo diary part 2

Hello lovelies.

Because I'm not feeling like blogging properly (and I don't have any money for clothes) I'm not writing here much at all, so here's a photo diary of September. The first part can be found here.

I've been very lucky and thoroughly spoilt by my friends and social media followers. I've been gifted several care packages with everything from chocolates to notepads to Himalayan salt tea light holders to lipsticks and a velvet kimono. This is Pugsley, a present from my friend Rosie.
I've only been wearing old things as I don't have a lot of money now but at some point I'll start doing outfit posts again, even if they're only charity shop clothes.
 My friend Izz and I. Where would I be without my friends?!
 I saw this sign in Herne Bay and it gave me a well needed laugh.
At Seasalter with my family.
Taking outfit photos in a McDonald's car park. Classy! ;)
My favourite new hang out, Bar Elba in London's Waterloo. It's a great rooftop bar which serves up amazing cocktails and burgers.
Bacon cheeseburger.
I hope everyone reading is doing well.

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

At This Moment #7 - What I'm reading, watching and doing

Hello lovebugs! I missed this post last month but I'm back again with the latest installment of what I'm up to!


I'm loving Star Trek Discovery on Netflix. I'm a proud Trekkie! I'm also loving S2 of Designated Survivor.


I'm reading South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami. It was a recommendation from a guy I went on a date with. The guy didn't last but the book has. 😄 I can't read much right now as I'm too hyper and I can't concentrate, but I look forward to being a bookworm again.


Plans for my future! The future is wide open but I've got to shape it. I want my own place and I want to study psychology to the highest level. I want to be a counsellor so I can help others through  relationship breakdowns with damaging individuals. I'd do anything I could to help others going through what I'm going through right now.


I need to start saving for a deposit on my own place as I need my independence. I'm also starting to think moving back to Kent was a good thing and this is where I'll stay. I'm also starting to date again. It feels good.


My grieving for that man is done. It was quite a few weeks ago. That was helped by the cruelty of his discard - every cloud has a silver lining! 😁😁😁😁😁😁


Freedom! Less anxiety about using public transport - since I've been single I've been HAVING to use it and I'm gadding about here and there on trains all the time with no anxiety at all now. 

(This section used to be TEXTING but music is far more interesting than texting!)

I LOVE this song. When I found out who it was by I was ashamed of myself, but I can't help but adore this song so much, especially the final 90 seconds or so. I sing along loud and often!


I'm really into Sia at the moment too. She's bipolar and I identify so much with her lyrics. Music in general is helping me so much.


Bipolar! Having bipolar and being a bi-polar-bear 🐻 are so hard. It affects everything from how many typos I make when I write (a lot, my thoughts race so much I can't spell or do grammar, and I was educated at a grammar school, FFS!) to the way I walk (seriously, bipolar mania makes you hypersexual and I walk like a panther on the prowl!) Everything is different. Even my handwriting is different when I'm manic. But it's the ups and downs, the feeling on top of the world then doubting everything which is the most painful. Well, that and all the people rushing out of my life now I have bipolar. The stigma IS HUGE. People have no idea what bipolar actually IS.

It's a mood disorder which means you go through Mount Everest level highs and Mariana Trench lows. It's not 'madness' per se, you just feel everything so deeply. But people are SO scared of it (and me) and I've been losing support left and right. It feels shit. Bipolar is shit. It affects everything - how much I eat and sleep and how energetic I am. So I need support.......and I'm so thankful to the people I still have in my corner.

What's new with you?

You can read previous posts here.
One Two Three
Four Five Six

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

September photo diary part 1

Since my break up and bipolar mania starting in mid September I've found it really hard to put fingers to keyboard, so I've decided to do photo diaries of Sept and Oct. They'll be photo heavy, do be warned. Expect outfits, selfies and more. I'll also be doing a separate photo diary of the Curve Fashion Festival, which I went to in early September.
Jacket and necklace past New Look Curves, dress past Boohoo, leggings, Skechers (similar), bag past eBay, leggings (similar)
I was gifted these workout leggings by State of Mind Active at the Curve Fashion Festival. They're great - moisture wicking and such a smooth fabric that it makes my chunky legs swish past each other effortlessly for better exercise. Normally when I go on a walk I arrive back home soaked in sweat and have to shower off immediately but I was kept cool and dry in these capris. I'm assured by a friend who has had SOMA clothes for a long time they wash and wear incredibly well and stay looking new for years. High performance workout capris. I need to reshoot these pics as the light was failing and the photo quality is awful. Keep your eyes peeled for a more in depth post.These photos were taken on a walk 2 days before James dumped me and I had NO IDEA it was coming.

Faking a smile the next day after the dump-age(with Mookie).
Three days post-dumping, out of the marital home and refusing to sink.
The kindness of friends.
Remembering what it's like to laugh again while in the pub with Mum and Mookie 5 days post dumping.
I've always been about that double chin life. Me aged 3 weeks - this photo is in my mum's bedroom.
A lovely walk on a sunny day with my family. I passed this flint statue and loved it. Shame idiots had to scrawl on it though.
Standing next to a big prick. 😜😜😜😜

I'll leave it there for now.

I hope you're all well. I'm struggling with bipolar, really struggling. It's going to be a bit of a quest to get me on the right meds and I don't think I'm there yet. It hasn't even been a month I've been on them yet so I know it's early days, but I'm really struggling to feel like me. Big hugs to all my fellow MH family and anyone else struggling for whatever reason.

I'm also really struggling to deal with the fall out of the break up, the PTSD like symptoms I have every time I have to see or interact with James. I'm really really not in a good place right now, but I'm putting one foot in front of the other each day.

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo