Hiya pickles!
I have a casual outfit for you today, but first colour maths. Grey+purple=grurple.
I wore this outfit today when I nipped out for a quick walk. Oops, you can see the pattern on my bra through the dress.
Here's my face today. I'm happier than I look!
Cardigan, Yours (past season)
Dress, Tesco via fat swap
Leggings, Matalan
Shoes, Asda
Necklace, Wilde at heart
Lipstick, w7 matte lip colour in nude
The more I look at my VBO the less I mind it. I'm starting to think it looks quite cute. And this my friends is the importance of taking photos of your body whatever you look like, but
especially if your body is non-normative. We need to normalise a whole spectrum of bodies which aren't usually represented - fat bodies, bodies of all colours, all genders, trans* folk, disabled bodies, you get my drift.
Time and time again I remind myself these perfect bodies we see in the media are one person in thousands, tens of thousands even, yet we beat ourselves up for being ordinary.
Do me a favour - take a photo of yourself today if you can. Have a good look at it, but not with a critical eye. What do you like? Those legs which carry you places (if you're able bodied) - does their shape or size affect how many adventures they can carry you on? Do your bingo wings (I hate that term!) actually make for the best cuddles in the world because your arms are so soft and pillowy? Have you got great hair or a smile that could make a statue wink? Does your face reflect the kindness within you? Do you have perfect teeth, a great arse, a button nose, the cutest freckles, or the softest most stroke-able double chins in the land? Loving yourself is as simple as finding one thing a day you love about yourself, and then looking for more. Loving yourself doesn't mean you've 'given up', and it doesn't mean you can't act to change things about yourself if you're not happy (and frankly doing it from a place of love is a lot better than doing it because of any other reason.)
All it means is you're loving yourself now, today, not in 10 or 50 pounds or in 3 dress sizes away or when Brad Pitt declares undying love for you.
PLEASE stop hating yourself (if you do.) Imagine what we could all do if we stopped hating ourselves. Where would that extra energy go? What
good would we be able to do with it? What
power would we recognise within ourselves? What a
gift it would be!
Think about it. Happiness doesn't lie in a thigh gap you can drive a truck down or cheekbones you can cut yourself on (unless of course that's how you were born!) it lies in self awareness, self acceptance and self love.
Know who you are, accept who you are and love who you are.
I love myself. There's only one me. When I focus on the love I give and receive and the joy it brings me there are SO many things more important than the size of my arse.
So take that photo, have a good long look, and tell me what you love about yourself today. If you can't find anything you love about yourself, send the photo to me and I'll tell you what I think is amazing about you. Upload it here in the comments or email me it at leahjdm@gmail.com. Seriously. Do it.
As well as accepting yourself, you have to surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are (and who accept themselves too.) Foster healthy relationships with people who aren't shallow and you'll soon feel better about yourself. I've always been a 'Take me as I am or feck off' kind of person so that kinda tends to bat away shit heads right from the start. Loving yourself
today might be as simple as pulling someone up on their body-shaming bullshit and letting them know the expectation is for you to be treated better in future. Sometimes we can't avoid toxic people - they may be colleagues or family members - but we can absolutely advocate for ourselves and let them know their crap is unnecessary and unwanted and we won't stand for it any longer. Sometimes respect has to be demanded. We can absolutely refuse to be anything other than civil to people who aren't nice to us - we don't owe anyone our pleasantness. It is not our job to play nice with bigots, y'all. We don't owe 'em shit.
Thanks for reading, and let me know your thoughts in the comments.