Outfit August 28/08 & thanks

Hello loves,

Happy Friday! This is probably going to be my last post until September as I have family staying from today and I'll be a busy bee. Can you believe it's nearly September?! Holy shee-it. I'm starting to think about my second-favourite C word, C*****mas!

I want to take a little break from blogging anyway, so it's good timing.

Thanks for the kind words on my ranty post. I feel slightly less crap now. Sometimes all you need is a few kind words, you know? (Note to universe - more kind words for everyone!) I should also schedule in a mental health break every 3 months as I seem to feel like everything is too much about that often. I'm wondering if it's my weirdo sensitive/empath witch-juju making me sensitive to the change of the seasons? That had never occurred to me before but now I think about it....hmmm.

When I do one of my wordy, soul-searching posts I most realise how lucky I am to have you behind me. Of all the things I'm proud about with this blog, having a 'tribe' of people is the greatest. Having a tribe isn't about having blind followers no matter what, or anyone blowing smoke up my arse, it's about that interaction between us and people having my back, and it's a blessing.

It's been a lesson about the way I act when I'm in the mental health danger zone, and also about looking closer at others who might be struggling too. I've had several people say they didn't want to intrude when I was AWOL, and then I noticed one of my fellow bloggers was off the grid a couple of days ago and reached out. Maybe it's a lesson to all of us - check in with your people often, even if you think you're just being silly. That reminds me, I need to call my mum. :D
Thanks also to everybody who's taken part in Outfit August. I intended to be a lot more hands on than I was so it was a bit of a fail on my part, but massive kudos to everyone who's brightened up my Instagram with your photos every day.



I took these pics when I was visiting family.

I'm wearing:

Hair flower, Peacocks.co.uk
Dress, past season Evans.co.uk 
Leggings, Yours Clothing
Shoes past season Very
Necklace, handmade & round the wrong way anyway ;)

So, what does September bring? Better things, better times, hopefully. Falling leaves, darker evenings, hot chocolate and planning for that C-mas occasion there's no running away from. ;)

I'm also likely to be doing more makeup posts (than fashion) for a while as nothing is floating my boat right now, and even if it was I have no money to buy anything with. I hope to do 30 days of lipstick to get some of those long forgotten pretties swatched and loved again, and I'll just plop a lipstick photo on the end of my posts, much like Christy has been doing on her Outfit August blog posts.

Catch you on the other side, and have a great weekend.
Leah xoxo

Is community in plus size blogging an illusion? Thinking aloud

Hello loves,

I've got a lot of things on my mind at the moment so I thought I'd talk about them.

*Inserts generic photo so this isn't just a huge wall of text.*

I've been feeling a bit removed from the plus size blogging community recently. Because my mental health has been dire I don't know how much of it is in my head, and how much of it is the truth. I know that depression is an insidious thing which tries to isolate me from people, and I'm writing this post cognisant of the fact it might do me no favours. I realise I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I like a good whinge, I'm a bit la-la, I'm a fan of calling out bullshit, I over think things and I'm probably over sensitive too. I'm an acquired taste, I know that.

I'm trying really hard not to make the next section sound like a 'Why me?' pity party, but it gives some background to why I might actually be on the outside of the plus size circle of trust (gotta love some De Niro!)

Up until about a year ago I used to comment on a huge amount of plus size blogs. Being out of work I saw supporting my fellow bloggers as something I could do to contribute to the scene, and of course I was really interested in these women as they're my peers/inspirations. After a year or two, I decided to cut back and focus on those who interact with me. Of course commenting on someone's blog never entitles anyone to a comment back, but if you've commented on someone's blog for months without so much as a pity comment back, it might be time to say byeeee. From the perspective of the people I dropped, they may have thought I stopped commenting as I got up my own arse as my follower count increased, or that I don't care about them any more. Hell no.

I don't know what it is exactly about bloggers which makes them great at sharing their lives but not so great at giving that interaction back but I do know from personal experience that the more popular your blog gets the more in demand you are and there aren't enough hours in the day. I always reply to blog comments and still spend an hour or so a day reading and commenting on blogs, but I totally understand that some bloggers will just not have the time to interact with others. Who knows how busy any blogger is behind the scenes and in their lives? But at the same time I know some bloggers who are only ever on the take, have no interest in supporting anyone else and are only there for you as long as you're there for them. Blogging naturally attracts self obsessed people - it helps us want to talk about ourselves every day - but I do feel loyalty within blogging circles is written in sand, just waiting to be swept away by the next wave.

I realised recently from a conversation I had just how much I miss out on the community aspect of plus blogging by not going to major plus size events. I was reminded - as if I needed it - that I'm massively out of the loop. When I first began blogging my anxiety disorder was off the chain, and the first time I went to a blogger (brand) event I was a wreck. Over time my anxiety got a bit better with CBT and anti depressants, and even though the thought makes my knees knock, I planned to to go to more events, both from brands and major weekend events. But I hadn't accounted for my physical health and the impact travelling long distances would bring. Even on going to relatively local (London) brand events the stress of travel on my own, the feeling of not being safe in bustling London because of pain/fatigue all took a lot out of me and did me more harm than good. I did go to Plus North last year (hubby chauffeured me despite his total disinterest) but was in pain all day and the recovery time afterwards was long. I was due to go to Style XL this year, but was ill so I couldn't go. I can't go to the Curve Fashion Festival as we have a wedding that weekend, and I'm not sure if I can go to UK Plus Size Fashion Week yet as we can't make any concrete plans anyway because of the situation with my step dad. If I was an independent woman in good health I would be at the major events like a rat up a drain pipe, but I'm not, and I do miss out on the unbeatable bonding that meeting face to face gives.

And the thing is, when you're out of the loop like this, no one even bothers to check if you're going to events any more. They just assume you're not. I'm in a few plus size groups on Facebook, and I see all the bloggers chatting excitedly about who they're rooming with and what they plan to do at the major events, and I just feel SO far away from everyone. Since my step dad has had cancer - and especially in the last month - I drew back from Facebook (where a lot of blogger chat goes on) as I didn't have the energy to deal with anything but existing. I felt even further away from the plus size community, and very few people checked to see how I was. Maybe it is petty to count the times people haven't been there for me, and maybe it is just my evil mental health isolating me from everyone, but I feel I've been a friend to many and it can be so one sided. I can be there with kind words for people over and over again and some just lap it up with nothing in return. I'm very disillusioned with the community right now, especially as I'd thought that when I needed support it would be there. Maybe me talking about my step dad's cancer comes across as attention seeking or bores people to tears. Maybe my constant health dramas test the limits of believability, but trust me, if reading about it is tiresome, guess how living it feels. ;)

There are SO many plus bloggers now with various different reasons for getting into it, everything is so competitive and as such it can be a pressure cooker waiting to go off. It feels like there's something massive and malignant growing, and I'm not too sure how much longer things can carry on without it breaking into factions. It has changed SO much in the 3-4 years I've been blogging/blog reading, with people starting blogs just for 'free shit'. I didn't even know there WAS free shit when I started blogging - I just thought everyone was incredibly rich. Naive, or what?

Maybe I am a big ol' drama queen, but I *had* expected that when I went off the grid some people might've cared. As I said previously in the post I know people are busy. I know we all have our own shit to deal with - with blogging, with our lives - and that often insulates us to the plight of others. Before the last few months I would've said the plus size community is amazing, strong and supportive, but that just hasn't been the case for me of late, and I feel incredibly sad about this. All along I felt like I belonged to this massive force for good but now it feels like it was an illusion. I feel like I've deluded myself. To me, community celebrates your successes and holds you up when you need it. If you're only a valued part of a community when you're putting in, is that really a community? I'm slipping out of people's minds, if I was ever there. I just can't devote the time it takes to be an active member right now, and I know that people who used to have time for me now don't.

Are people's memories really that short? Does the loyalty only lie with the people who've commented on your blog that week? Or is it really just every bugger for themselves? Am I the only one feeling this? Because of all this depth of feeling I've kinda fallen out of love with outfit blogging and feel like talking about make up more at the moment. Whenever my depression is really bad I just want to look pretty, and makeup does make me feel happier. I'm not buying new clothes because we're skint so I'm only showing old outfits, whereas I have LOADS of makeup I've never talked about here. This change of focus may only be temporary, until I get my head straight, or I may take a break from blogging altogether.

I don't know if community in plus size blogging IS an illusion, but increasingly my community consists of my readers and my Twitter/Instagram followers, not other bloggers. Maybe I've been placing my trust in the wrong places all along, and maybe that's why I'm so sad.

So, readers and fellow bloggers, is community in plus size blogging an illusion? Do you feel supported by it? Is there a rift brewing? Or am I being an over sensitive dick? I know this is a contentious subject and will probably go further towards alienating me from the community, but these are my feelings and I've got to spit them out.

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

UK Plus Size Fashion Week

Hello loves,

There is no shortage of plus size events in recent times, which is wonderful. Most of them are the opposite end of the country to me, but UK Plus Size Fashion Week is held in London. It's being held on the 11th-13th September 2015.

Since 2013 the team at British Plus Size Fashion Weekend has successfully produced 2 critically acclaimed, award winning events. The largest plus size fashion events that the UK & Europe has ever seen and now founder of BPSFW – Rianne Ward of Evolve International Media Ltd and her select expert team are back and bring you our latest instalment of body diversity and amazing fashion by presenting UK Plus Size Fashion Week 2015. With its focus on creating a platform for world recognised style UK Plus Size Fashion Week is the only official event dedicated to celebrating plus size and curvy fashion held within our capital city of London. Official UKPSFW sponsors include Evans, Boo Hoo, ASOS, and Make Believe Beauty.

The schedule:

Friday 11th September 2015 – Press Day (by invitation only)
Saturday 12th September 2015 – Catwalk Shows doors open 2.00pm Independent and Retailers shows (Complimentary VIP / Press tickets will be issued) other tickets can be bought online
Sunday 13th September 2015 – Exhibition and Marketplace day

Brands who will be there:

Phase Eight
Elvi and more

Jess and the Bandits and Chastity Garner from Garner Style will be there too.

Are you going?  I'm not sure yet. I can't really make plans from one week to the next at the moment.


8 Northumberland Avenue
London WC2N 5B

Follow UKPSFW on Twitter @ukpsfw 

Thanks for reading,

*I was asked to write about UKPSFW and haven't been compensated in any way. 

Recent Youtube loves

Greetings earthlings,

I think I may have been abducted by aliens (hence the 'earthlings' greeting!) because I am actually seeking out YouTube videos to watch out of my own free will and everything! Up until now, I would only watch videos if I really loved you. Otherwise I'd have sooner stuck pins in my eyes.

Why the change? With the stress of late my concentration has disappeared, and I'm plagued by daily headaches since my asshat doctors took me off my daily migraine pills with no warning whatsoever. So blog reading and reading in general are things I'm doing less right now to save my eyes and brain. I guess as videos are so in your face (and can be paused at any time) the immediacy of them suits my current needs.

So who am I loving right now?

Belladelune has mad skills with a make up brush. If I tried to blend that lot I'd end up looking like I was 3 weeks into a zombie apocalypse.

Through that channel I found Bunny, who's VERY, VERY American, quite bananas and somehow endearing.

Aiko is adorable and I love the videos made by her dad of their lives in Japan.

Matt is one of those Tumble-famous people, but not a giant dick like some Tumblr-famous peeps. He's lost a huge amount of weight and is happy to share his thoughts on all things body posi.

Kaya is an alternative lady, and although I might look relatively vanilla, I was goth for many years and still love to feel a part of the subculture by watching videos by people like her. I think when I've reached a year of having my Crown and Glory subscription, I might swap it for a Spooky Box sub!

Who are you loving on Youtube? Any recommendations for me? My Youtube is here if you want to check it out. I intend to post a video a week from now on.

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

MUA Power Pout Glaze in Enchant & Spellbound*

Hiya love bugs,

I'm really into makeup again at the moment. I seem to veer between wanting to buy clothes and being obsessed with makeup and at the moment it's the latter. Here are a couple of lip glosses from MUA.

MUA Power Pout Glaze in Enchant and Spellbound review
MUA Power Pout Glaze is a medium-opacity lipgloss which smells like cookies to me. It's reasonably moisturising and is a little sticky, but not unbearable. I can't stand really gloopy lipgloss! Both of them have very subtle sparkle which you can't feel at all. I hate chunky glitter in lip products. The glosses have a twist and click system - twist the silver end of the gloss, and every time it clicks some gloss is dispensed onto a brush - see photo at the bottom of the post for a photo of the brush. You may have to twist the end 20 or so times on the first use to get the brush to load, but that's perfectly normal and only takes a click or two per subsequent application.

Enchant is a soft pink shade which shows up as a wash of colour on my lips. For more impact I would wear it over a darker pink lipstick. You could also wear it over lip liner worn all over the lips. MUA's lip liners are soft and creamy enough to wear all over your lips without dragging.

MUA Power Pout Glaze in Enchant review
Spellbound has more colour pay off and is my favourite of the two shades as it packs a punch.

MUA Power Pout Glaze in Spellbound review

Here's a photo so you can see the brush, and a little clue into the way I use photos as prompts to battle Fibromyalgia fog. Sometimes I take detailed notes as I do my swatches so I can write the posts up fully later, and other times I take photos of things as a memory prompt. The shot with the Pepsi can was to remind me that after drinking it all the lip gloss was half gone, so you will need to reapply after eating and drinking - standard for most lip glosses. Sometimes I'll hold one or two fingers up under an eye to remind me if I'm wearing one or two coats of mascara when I write my post up (I just crop them out of shot) and I usually order things for swatches in name or number order so I don't get the shades in a pickle afterwards - especially if they're similar shades. Of course there's no completely avoiding boo-boos when your brain is affected by chronic illness - like the few times I've put the same photo in a collage twice - but having a system makes me feel less daft some of the time! ;)

You can see another recent post about MUA from me here.

Do you prefer lip gloss or lipstick?

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

*Items sent by MUA but my opinions are honest. I've been buying from MUA for 5 years and will continue to do so.

Outfit August 22/08 - Shades of Autumn

Hello love bugs,

It's been feeling a little Autumnal here the last couple of days, so when I opened my wardrobe looking for some inspiration this old ASOS Curve dress in warm Autumn shades caught my eye.

I got this dress for less than a tenner from eBay earlier in the year. Getting my hands on second hand bargains by buying them at the 'wrong' time of the year is one of my favourite things. Want a bargain coat? Look in summer. Want spring pastels? See what's selling in Autumn. There'll be less demand so you'll find bargains. Try it and see if you can find some treasures!




I took these photos after going to the docs to find out what's been ailing me since Sunday. Aaand it's food poisoning. It's been an experience but it's getting better. All hail the powers of makeup and a long nap for making me look semi-human. :)


I'm wearing:

Dress, past season ASOS Curve
Belt, ASOS Curve
Glittery head band, past season ASOS
Leggings Very, from twin pack
Shoes past season Everything 5 Pounds

Have a lovely weekend. What are you up to? We're going to be sprucing up our flat, but hopefully popping out to catch some sunshine at some point too as it's supposed to be nice this weekend.

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

Video | My week #2

Hello lovelies!

Happy Friday. Here's my video about what I've been up to this week. Watch to see why I've needed my loo roll in the fridge, see me play with my hair incessantly, find out what Illamasqua goodies I got this week and hear me say 'Erm' approximately 472 times.

D'oh, Cupid's bow (as in bow and arrow) not bow (as in bow down). FU Fibromyalgia brains. :P

What have you been up to this week? Are you doing anything fun this weekend?

Thanks for watching!

Leah xoxo

Mookie's birthday party & OOTD

Hiya pickles!

It was Mookie's birthday party a couple of weeks ago, and James and I went to celebrate with her and her hubby Mike. It was a joint celebration for Mookie's 40th and her daughter's 18th so there were lots of people there. The venue was a cosy country pub outside of Guildford which had set up a lovely gazebo in the garden. Naturally we had to get together to take blogger photos.

Me, Becky, Tanya, Mookie and Lisa.


So many boobs!


I love this photo so much!

Mookie and I flicking between posing for different cameras. DIVAS!

It was nice to catch up on some blogger time, because I'm so far out of the loop. Because things have been a bit stressful here I've kept myself to myself for the last couple of months and I'm soooooo behind the times. Not being able to go to many plus size events because of the toll it takes on me really means I miss out on the community aspect and it does get me down. Hey ho.

We had to leave before Mookie opened her presents as it was such a long drive back, which was a big shame, but I hope she was spoiled rotten as she deserves it!

Amy and I.

I'm wearing:

Dress, Scarlett and Jo, no longer available
Leggings, Very (twin pack, one long one short)
Shoes, past season Very.co.uk similar here 

Thanks for reading!
Leah xoxo

Outfit August 18/8 - Turquoise leopard


I wore this outfit to a local village to go to Holland and Barrett to pick up some vegan goodies. If anyone was staring at the inch of fat girl stomach visible, I was too busy to care. I'm finding increasingly that no one gives a crap apart the body parts I show or not apart from me (idiots notwithstanding, but who cares about idiots? Not me).





I'm wearing:

Hair flower, Peacocks.co.uk
Leopard studded top, past season Pinkclove.co.uk via Mookie
Skirt, past season Newlook.com
Bracelet, Bluebirds and Daisies
Plimsolls, New Look wide fit
Two in one handbag, eBay

Thanks for reading!
Leah xoxo

Beauty - Beautycrowd order - Nicka K, LA Colors, LA Girl

Hello lovelies!

I placed an order with Beautycrowd a week or so ago for lots of weirdly coloured lip sticks and lip glosses. I'm on a mission to own every variation of bright/weird/ugly lip colours I can get my hands on. It's an addiction! There was 20% off lipsticks this day so I went a bit bananas. This post is long - normally I would break it up into a couple of posts but I have such a lot on at the mo this is a behemoth!

I haven't tested any of these for longevity yet (except the LA Girl lip glosses) as it was strictly on and off to get to the next swatch.

This is LA Girl glazed lip paint in Daring. It can be worn heavily applied and really glossy or blotted and used as a stain (middle photo). There are swatches of both below. The lip glosses taste of mint and would be best used with a lip brush as the shaped plastic applicator in the lid isn't useful because of the gloopiness of the product - photo of the applicator so you can see what I mean here. I always do my lip swatches with the applicator provided on any lipstick/lipgloss to show you what to expect, but you will generally get a better effect from using a lip brush with lip products. This is £4. It only lasted about an hour on me applied heavily, but lasts longer blotted and used as a stain. Cruelty free.

LA Girl glazed lip paint Daring from BeautyCrowd

This is LA Girl glazed lip paint in Gleam. Again you can wear it heavily in which case it looks like a golden brown, but if you blot it you can see the glitter in it much more (middle photo). £4. Likewise, longevity is better when blotted.

LA Girl glazed lip paint Gleam

I'm annoyed I bought these Nicka K New York lipsticks. I thought they were cruelty free and now I'm not sure. It says on their website they don't test their products on animals but I'm not sure about the ingredients. I need to clarify. They're £3.95 and don't really have any discernible taste, and they smell slightly synthetic but nothing I can put my finger on.

They're slightly patchy as they were applied over a coat of lip balm. When doing this many swatches I have to use lip balm underneath every time or else my lips chap something awful. Cruelty free? Not sure. 

This is shade Amazing. I have nothing like this - the only other blue shade I have is a turquoise called Immoral from Makeup Revolution.


This is shade Babe. I have nothing similar to this.


This is shade Fatale. This is similar to Freedom Makeup's Sky-Walker.


I wanted some really obnoxious shades of brown from LA Colors, but these are actually pretty wearable. They're £1.95 each. Cruelty free.


Blazing Bronze smells really perfumed, but I like it. I would wear it as a perfume! It's kind of vanillary, kind of musky.


Cocoa Shimmer also has a scent, kind of vanillary, but not as strong as Blazing Bronze.


This is my favourite shade of the 3 neutrals. It's really wearable. This is Sheer Tan, and this smells vanillary/foodie too. I have the hardest time picking out scents now. Fibromyalgia has scrambled my brain! Sometimes I have trouble naming colours too. Grrrrr.


There's one thing from this order I haven't shared in this post, and that's a heart shaped beauty spot stamp from Absolute Makeup. I took photos but can't find them right now.

Do you like any of these colours?

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

*I bought these. 

Outfit August 16/08 - acid wash denim

Hiya pickles!

I've had this dress for about 2 months but have worn and washed it so many times without showing it on the blog for some reason. It isn't actually denim, it just looks like it is. It's made of a really soft stretch material that's really comfortable to wear.


I've gone for a cutesy look with the buns today. When I had my hair cut last (just before Rach & JP's wedding) I couldn't get my layers trimmed (on strict orders by Carla who was doing my up-do for the wedding) as I needed the length to put my hair up, so now my shortest layers are about the bottom of my ear length. This means my hair's looking really flat and not as full as it usually does, but the bonus is I can wear my hair in buns without most of my hair sticking up at odd angles. :)



I'm wearing:

Earrings, past season Primark
Brooch, August Crown & Glory Glitterati subscription box
Bracelets, various, all old
Acid wash dress, ASOS Curve
Shoes, past season Mr Price
Lipstick - Freedom Makeup Sky-Walker

Thanks for having a look. :)
Leah xoxo

Video| My week

Hello lovelies!

I did a video yesterday about what I've been doing this week. I hope to make one each week to talk about the things I'm liking. Play the video to hear about whose abs I'm obsessed with, which song is my battle cry and what's on my mind this week.

It's a bit over exposed and I've got wet hair but hey ho.
(Click through to my blog to see the video if you're reading via email.)

(An excellent example of Fibro-brain, when talking about Autumn trends..."You're going to see lots of denim, yadda yadda, errm, errrm, lots of denim." Hahaha.)

Edit - My mum rang this morning and Pete (my step dad) should be finishing treatment next week. We've gone from hearing a week or two ago that he'd need chemo up until Christmas, and now they're saying he's almost done. So hopefully that's true and they're not going to change their minds next week (which wouldn't be a total surprise.) It's something to be happy about if it is true! It's been the case that he's responded really well to chemo throughout, so hopefully they're right and he'll soon be home. Of course he'll have lots of check ups, but fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading and/or watching, and have a great weekend.
Leah xoxo

Outfit August 14/08 - Slogan tee

Hello loves!

I've had this t-shirt for about 10 years, and I never expected it to still be for sale but it is. YES! Back then the thought of a career in bitching/gossip ticked me, but now I take it as being bitchin' - being amazing. ;) I've cut the neck as usual and have folded the bottom under so it looks a little like a crop top.


I found this rainbow ball capture ring in with my stash of piercing jewellery. I have no idea where I got it from, but I love it. I've left the ball off as I like the open ended style of it.


I was wearing a scarf on my hair for 2 reasons - I had really greasy hair, and the monochrome picked up the black and white in the t shirt's printing.



I'm wearing:

Scarf, past season H&M
T shirt, TShirtgrill.com
Skirt past season Yours
Shoes, past season Mr Price.com
Lipstick - LA Girl glazed lip paint in Daring

I really love wine reds at the moment as Autumn is knocking and has made me really crave the dark jewel tones. I'm all about teal, purple and wine shades.

Happy Friday - have a great weekend!
Leah xoxo

Outfit August 12/08 - tropical sun

Hello petunias!

I'm wearing my false eyelashes in these photos because this day I'd tried to recreate my makeup that I did for Rach and JP's wedding, as previously promised I would do and upload to YouTube. I didn't expect it to be easy, but I never knew it would be so hard! My camera kept overheating so I had to record the video in 4 sections, then a parcel got delivered and cocked up my flow, and the sun was in my eyes so I couldn't see what I was doing. It was a total bloody disaster! My makeup came out all right, but the video was a total washout. I'm not sure if I can bare to have another go. Beauty Youtubers, I bow down!

Moving onto the clothes, I had to pop out to the post office so I threw on a really casual outfit in 5 minutes flat. A neutral colour + something bright is my go to. As we transition into Autumn/Winter styles, I'll probably buy a paisley print kimono and throw it on over a thicker neutral dress. I love paisley prints, so bring it on! I was born in the 70s baby - I'm made for this!


I bought another of those thin cotton H&M dresses in the sale. for £6. They are thin but they're great for the hot weather and I've lived in them all summer. I've also got the black one which is a 4X (seen here), the blue one which is a 3X (seen here), and this one is a 2X and it's the right fit for me.

When the sun is in my eyes I'm just going to bask in it!


I'm wearing:

Kimono, past season Yours Clothing
Cotton dress, H&M+
Leggings, Very (twin pack)
Shoes, who knows? James cut my feet off. :D

What's your go-to errand running outfit?

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo