Hiatus

Hiatus. I've looked at the word for so long it almost feels foreign to my eyes.

There's something almost reverential about putting pen to paper as opposed to fingers to keyboard. I think I read once that most of your brain is formed by the time you're 7, which explains why I can't think clearly unless I'm writing out my thoughts. From the time I could hold a pen and pad I poured out my every thought, childhood fantasy and embarrassing teenage lament. I write to see how I feel, and sometimes the words are scratched out by hand and a decision made before it has even registered with my brain.

I don't feel like my thoughts are half as eloquent without the scratch of pen on paper, the indent on the next few pages of an opinion fiercely expressed. I should freestyle my blog posts before I commit them to the keyboard and make them indelible. Words can be erased from the internet but not from hearts and minds, as I've discovered in the past.

Writer's block is a pain in the arse, but I call it writer-speak for being knackered. If you've never been too tired to think straight then I envy you. Sometimes there's just too much horror in the world to take in and the words retreat like clouds on a sunny day. The only thing you can do to beat it is to NOT beat it - you have to give yourself a break, which is what I intend to do now (present commitments willing).

A writer gives of themselves and life gives too, but it also takes away in increments. Our hope, our energy, and at some points the ability to take in any more suffering. This is how I find myself now - careworn, sad and overwhelmed. I'll be back when the need to share words outweighs my exhaustion, until which time be good to yourselves. ❤

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

At this moment #4 - Lifestyle

Hello loves, it's time to see what I've been up to for the last few weeks.

WATCHING

Currently I'm midway through the second/last series of Sense8 on Netflix. I really enjoy it and it's a shame it's been cancelled. It's about 8 individuals who are linked psychically and the adventures they experience. It has a very diverse cast and is filmed in places such as Germany, India, Iceland and America. It's a riot for the senses but due to all the location filming it must've been very expensive to produce.

Cherry Coke - the taste of the 80's

Hello lovelies, here's another casual warm weather outfit. It's as hot as balls so I can't stand to wear fabrics which aren't cool. Also I'm on a kind of spending ban (except for essentials) as we're doing grown up stuff - saving for a mortgage. I've got to keep reminding myself that when we have our own place we can rescue a couple of cats, and that's helping me sit on my hands a bit. I have LOADS of clothes, but I lack inspiration a lot of the time. This next couple of years as I crack down on superfluous purchases will be a good chance for me to remember what it is to be thrifty. I remember years ago when I really was poor the inventiveness it took. I remember once when I was a teenager cutting the labels out of all my clothes and sewing them at jaunty angles onto a pair of old jeans to funk them up. I'd tie-dye or tie-bleach items to make them unique. Just buying things off the peg has made me lazy. I need to up my game again!

Monki-ing around in the Monki palm print dress

Hello everyone! I've got a little message for one of my readers - hello Joan! Tanya tells me you're a big fan, so hi! 😀

I'm wearing another dress from Monki today. I've had this a couple of months now so it's out of stock but I thought it's worth blogging about for size reference alone. This is a size M/L - which is supposed to be about a UK size 12-14 - and I'm a size 28. Monki are a Swedish company who do many oversized items. I only buy oversized things from them, or else they wouldn't fit me. As they're a straight sized company you will notice the models are thin, and look especially so in the oversized items. I mention this as the size of the models was pointed out to me by a reader before. I'm happy some of their items fit me.

I've had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction with this dress. I never pay any attention to laundry labels so I've washed and tumble dried it a few times and it's shrunk so much that the slit at the front goes right up past my vag! In this weather we could all use a bit of free air con, but that much is indecent. 😨

NSFW. Pocket pleasure that packs a punch - a Lovehoney review

If you know me in real life and don't want to read about my sexy-time adventures then please stop reading now! Yes Mum, that means you. 😝

OK, moving on - those babes at Lovehoney sent me some toys to play with recently and since orgasms are the best homework EVER it was my pleasure to try them out. I've been a sex toy user one and off since I was a teen and I've never written about it until recently, but sod it, most people I know love an orgasm!

I'm a liberal woman and James is a liberal man and we have a good selection of toys for both of us. I'm no stranger to Lovehoney - most of our sex toys are from there. They post everything in discreet and sturdy packaging so there'll be no knowing look from your postman! Also, they have a no-quibble 365 day returns policy! I love the reviews on Lovehoney - you're left in no doubt whatsoever if something is powerful enough to do the job as the reviews go into great detail - sometimes hilariously! I usually end up crying with laughter at the reviews and the euphemisms for genitals and shagging.

I was sent three toys and some lube. Read on for what I thought of them.

Ms Pomelo post-surgery bras for breast cancer warriors

Photo of Tracie © Simon Hunt at Alt Studio Manchester

Hi loves,

Something I'm really keen on getting out there is Ms Pomelo's post mastectomy bras for breast cancer warriors. I know three people who went through breast cancer last year and who are still experiencing it. One of those friends Tracie has been kind enough to supply me with a bunch of images of her in her post-surgery bras, including some stunning pin up images of her by Alt Studio Manchester.

Mookie and Mike's visit & my OOTD

A month ago my lovely friends Mookie and Mike came to stay for the weekend. On the Sunday we all went to a lovely farm near us to hang out in the sunshine. Here are some photos from the day, plus what I was wearing. I've been erring towards casual/nothing special looks recently, and because I've not been buying many new things I'm trying to put a spin on older items. James and I have had car trouble recently plus we're saving hard for a mortgage so money is tight. The dress I'm wearing was actually a knee length harem playsuit but I hacked through the legs to make it an asymmetric hem dress. You can see me wearing another one of these hack jobs here. I've put an old galaxy print t-shirt over the top.

Yours Clothing Navy Jersey Maxi Dress With Ruched Waist and Pockets

Hello loves. I feel like prefacing all of my posts for the next three months with "Excuse my humidity hair!" or "I don't do well in the heat" but I'm sure I'm not the only person who melts at the slightest bit of heat. If you never look pristine in the heat then *high five* because I always look hot and bothered when it's muggy.

OBD Clothing gymwear t-shirts and discount code

Hello loves! Today I have a workwear tee to show you and a lovely 20% discount code for you.

I know I don't talk about exercise here (or even food) but that's because I was put on my first diet aged 10 and had over 2 decades of disordered eating and lots of horrible thoughts about my body. Even now it can still be a touchy subject for me so I shy away from it. But I do exercise - my fave ways are country walks and yoga. When I saw the slogans on these OBD Clothing tee shirts on Twitter I fell in love. They're available from size 18 to 28 in the Curve line, and they have straight sizes too. They come in a number of colours (except size 26/28 which at the moment only comes in black) and 11 different slogans such as 'Kindness is free' and 'You got this girl'. The owner does want to bring out the larger sizes in a full range of pretty colours but at the moment her hands are tied, so watch this space. The tees are moisture wicking, made of a lightweight material and are true to size. Mine comes down to about my hips and I'm 5ft 5, but I always wear tees knotted as I prefer that look on me. I'm wearing a size 26/28.

Bad Rhino menswear big & tall UK blogger search

Yours Clothing's plus size menswear line Bad Rhino is looking for a big and tall male UK blogger to represent them. If you fit the bill or if you know someone who does, send them here.

Perks of the job include:
Creating content with the PR team
An allocated monthly spend on new in Bad Rhino clothing
Doing social media takeovers

It's great to see plus size menswear being widely available. The industry has come on leaps and bounds for all of us in the last few years.

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

Yes, Monki fits fat girls too

Hiya lovelies, this is my second Monki purchase in recent weeks. If you're not familiar with Monki they're a Swedish company who do many very oversized items of clothing. This dress is a size XL which is supposed to equate to about a size 14 UK, but it's obviously much larger - I'm a size 28. Monki have a website and two UK stores - one in Bristol and one in London. The XL is now sold out online, but the L should fit people up to a size UK 26 easily. The reason I'm blogging about it so quickly is because the larger Monki sizes sell out so quickly, so here are some quick photos in case you want to snap one up. If you're looking at other Monki items, remember they're not a plus size line so the models are very thin. Look out for 'oversized' in the title of the item. Monki also sells on ASOS but the larger sized items always seem to be on their website, not ASOS.

Too hot, too cold - Fibromyalgia and temperature regulation

Because I've had Fibromyalgia and ME for nearly 10 years now, I don't tend to talk about it very much on my blog. Because I feel like I vent about a number of things my health woes seem like a step too far. But someone reminded me recently that talking about it helps people understand illnesses that are not very well understood. (Thank you Vicky!) I'm going to try to talk about my health (mental and physical) every couple of weeks ongoing.

People with Fibromyalgia will often have trouble regulating their temperature, which means we tend to veer from too hot to too cold and back again with very little just right.