Life | The wedding of the year, daaaahlings!

Hello,

Having got Rach's permission to post my photos of the wedding day, here we are.

Weddings are always lovely no matter how well you know both parties, but even more so when two of your best friends marry each other. Sometimes as a guest at a wedding you know one half of the married couple better than the other - usually the bride in my case - but having known Rach and JP for so long, it was doubly good. Over the years I've become close to Rach's mum and dad and consider them friends and jokingly consider them my adopted parents, even though they're only 10 years older than me. There are 16 years between Rach and I - I like to say she's mature for her age and I'm immature for mine. We meet somewhere in the middle. ;) I've also become friends with Rach's sister H and Rach's childhood bestie S over the months (the other bridesmaids) so it has thrown me into the midst of lots of great people. JP's parents are also wonderful, so it was a case of being amongst many friends.

I arrived at Rach's mum and dad's just after 8am of the wedding day. The other bridesmaids were there and we all got ready together after having a lovely breakfast made by Rach's dad. Rach's friend Carla did Rach's hair, plus all 3 of us bridesmaids and the mother of the bride. 5 different hair styles! She worked her socks off. Carla and I have also become friends as she's such a lovely woman. When Rach came down the stairs in her wedding dress I teared up as she looked so amazing. She did her own makeup (as well as helping out with everyone else's but mine - I was happy to do my own) and did a fantastic job of it.

Getting ready

We went to the church in a swish black Jaguar, and I felt very princessy getting out of it until I hit my head on the roof getting out then broke the embellishment off my shoe as I kinda stumbled out of the car door. I must win an award for the least gracious exit from a wedding car ever. :P I stuck the embellishment back on with someone's half chewed gum and it held up for the whole day. Yay for chewing gum! They say things go in threes, and a lady passed out halfway through the ceremony (low blood pressure, she was fine thankfully) topping off that comedy of errors.

The church ceremony was lovely, and the wedding was held in the church Rach's mum and dad got married in, as well as several other family members. The vicar taught the groom and best man RE at senior school, so it was a special ceremony in many ways.

Surprise, you're married!

Happy married face.

After the ceremony and photographs were over we crossed the road to the village pub, where a huge marquee was laid out in the field out back country style with miles of bunting (lovingly made by the mother of the groom), hessian table runners, wooden barrels and a rustic looking bar. We sat in the large beer garden surrounded by summer blossoms and clucking pub chickens as we ate canapes and drank Bellinis in the sunshine while they readied the main meal. That was no hardship at all. :)

We all had lunch and drinks, then the speeches which were all lovely and really funny. JP has had a lifelong fear of speaking in public but he did an amazing job and spoke really well. After that the dance floor opened, but having sprained my ankle the week before, this was the only wedding I've ever been to that I didn't dance at enough to cripple me for the next few days. I merely swayed a couple of times. Rach and JP's first song was Wherever You Will Go (this version), and then Rach danced with her dad, which was emotional for me as it reminded me I missed this bit out of my own wedding. Doofus! (Just another reason to renew our vows - I have several reasons so far so it needs to happen.)

About the third song in was Amazed by Lonestar (which was the song I was supposed to walk down the aisle to at my wedding, but I was so late I never did get to hear it, oops) so I got back from the loo in time to sway about like a loner to it on my own as James was taking the car back home and coming back in a cab with my dad and brother.

They all turned up at about 8.30pm. My mum and step dad were invited too, but they couldn't make it because of my step dad's chemo. There was a photo booth at the wedding which opened at 8pm, and I spent a lot of time in it or queuing for it. It was really popular all night and you got a copy of each photo as well as being able to download them from the company's website afterwards.

The cake was a behemoth and looked wonderful. Now that's what you call a wedding cake!!

Mother of the bride/view from the church/the cake/the marquee/bouquet toss

Tipsy bridesmaids/fellow Fibro sufferer & friend E/James/my family/first dance

Bride resplendent in petals/my fam/sunset

I could chat on forever about what a beautiful day it was, surrounded by great people in the loveliest of surroundings. You usually get at least one arsehole at every wedding, but every person I spoke to was happy and friendly. It wasn't a cliquey wedding at all.It was a gem of a day and I wish Rach and JP many, maaaaany years of wedded bliss.

What have been your favourite weddings to attend? Are you married yourself? What kind of wedding was it? Ours was budget and there are a LOT of things I'd do differently, and I hope to one day. :)

I've been to lots of weddings as most of my friends have settled down. The furthest wedding we travelled was in Sweden (James was best man), and we've been to a couple of cracking weddings up north that turned into lovely weekends away. I've been to a couple of beautiful civil ceremonies, too. Any time people get together to celebrate their love, I'm down for that.

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

Guest blog | Weddings & weight loss pressure

Hello loves,

Today I have a guest post from my friend Rach, who's getting married in a little over two weeks. She TOLD me she was going to guest post on my blog, and I never argue with a woman who controls whether or not I wear a meringue for my bridesmaids dress. ;)

She's going to talk about the pressure on a bride to lose weight so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read.

She says:

I have lived in Canada for 2 years and recently have come home (to the UK) on a holiday. My first year out in Canada, I was based on the Sunshine Coast in Gibsons, I worked full time and was constantly tired. My problem I found over there was that I was unhappy.

People would judge me for my weight and would think they are "helping" by sending you diet tips and telling you not to eat certain foods because it's "no good" for me. People at work were judging everything that went into my mouth. Even the cashiers I worked with would look at my shopping, then look at me... I didn't know how to react to this. It was almost as if the best thing to eat according to them was DUST!

Once I moved to the city, people were more active there and as well as having a great gang of people to work with, they did not pass judgement on what I ate. I would even have a once a week lunch date with a girl from work to Fat Burger. Even though I would have a Caesar salad sometimes, I felt good that no one tutted or shamed me for my lunch choices.

Since I had moved away, there was always that couple of "friends" who would send dieting tips and "ways to stay healthy in Vancouver" type articles for me to read. I actually got quite angry at them for sending me this stuff.

I went back to the Coast for a friends birthday not long ago. I am due to be married in July and this was March, I had been pole dancing for 3 months, once to twice a week to keep FIT not to LOSE WEIGHT! The birthday girl proceeded to ask if I was going to fit into my wedding dress, or if I was going to Lose Weight for the big day!? The fucking cheek of her. Luckily I had a friend who stuck up for me and said I will look fabulous NO MATTER my size, plus James (she's also marrying a James - go James's of the world!) isn't going to marry me because I have lost weight, nor is he NOT going to marry me for the size I am. He has fallen in love with me for me!

This is the beginning of what a Bride to be has to focus on. It's probably the most stressful too! My dress is perfect and I am so grateful to my friend who altered and made my dress to fit me. All I have to do, is maintain who I am for a month which isn't as pressuring as I thought it would be. I am currently working part time whilst back in England so I am keeping active. My eating habits could be better. But I'm working in a BAKERY! It's torture! The plus sides are, I'm keeping up with Pole, I am active at work, I am trying to stay active on my days off. Back in Canada, I was no way near as active as I have been since returning to England. People are still judgy on sizes but I flick those bastards away and focus on me.

OK, it's Leah again. Did you feel pressure to lose weight for your wedding?

I wasn't worried about getting smaller, but I did worry about fitting into my wedding dress. Had I measured correctly?! Aarrrrghhhhhh. This is because the company I bought my dress from were a bunch of shits and my dress only came 3 days before the wedding. If I'd had it earlier I would've been much happier.

Really I think with all the other pressures on a bride, losing weight should be the least of them. I nearly went full Bridezilla as it was, let alone trying to lose weight as well.

Thanks to Rach for giving me a day off. :)

Leah xoxo

The black wedding and what I wore

Hello love bugs!

I thought I'd expand a little more on the great weekend we had up North for our friends wedding. The post is long, go get yourself a cuppa and a biccie.

We arrived in Bury on the Friday evening after stopping off to see a couple of friends in Manchester on the way. In the evening we met up with our friends M, T and A for some drinks in the hotel bar. As it was T's birthday the day of the wedding, James and I gave him his card and present that night so he could have a little celebration. We bought him a bottle of cinnamon liqueur called Fire Eater and we got about half way through it that evening when the barman wasn't looking. I call it giggle juice as I was still laughing my head off about an hour after we went to bed. Seeing friends you haven't seen for months + alcohol = good times.

We woke up the next day fairly chirpy despite leaving the bar at 2am (coffee helped!) and then we went over the road to the Town Hall in preparation for the wedding.

G, James half asleep, me, T // G, James, T & M // the happy couple x 2.

The ceremony was lovely and moving, and we all went outside to the lovely floral grounds of the town hall while the bride and groom had their photos taken professionally. Then we moved off to Whitehead Gardens next door to the Town Hall where a lot more professional photos were done in front of the imposing clock tower.

Selfie // M and one of the bridesmaids W, who is a friend // clock tower in Whitehead Gardens.

After that it was time for the reception. The speeches were all very moving and I cried often, no doubt lubricated by the assortment of free alcohol on the table in front of me. The food and decor were stunning (the red and black theme for the bride and groom's outfits was also used throughout, such as on the chair covers and table decorations), the service in the Elizabethan suite where the reception was held was faultless, and we all had a jolly old time. Here's what I wore:

Dress, Scarlett & Jo
Cropped leggings, Very
Shoes, Very sale
Hair flower, eBay
Hair flower used as brooch, New Look

After the speeches were over and we'd eaten, a magician came round to the tables one by one and he was bloody fantastic. His name is Jason Rea. He got T to sign a fiver at the beginning of his set of tricks and at the very end he pulled it out of a lime which he put on the table when he first arrived. He pulled playing cards from a sealed envelope in his wallet that T had signed and put back into the pack moments before. There were loads of cool tricks, too many to mention. He turned a piece of paper into a lollipop right in front of my eyes. If you need a magician for an event, he's amazing.

Did I mention it was hot as balls all day long? No? Well, it was hot as balls all day long, made worse by the sheer amount of alcohol finding its way down my gullet. We were all sweating all day and all night. I felt so sweaty and horrible that I went back to the room to shower and change about 5 pm, before rushing back for the evening fun.

T & M // me and Jimbob // A // us again

The evening's entertainment was fantastic. There was a Skid Row tribute act on who were brilliant and after that there was a rock DJ who played loads of great rock songs from hair metal to the current day. There was a LOT of dancing from me - sod the broken toe. I can shuffle along quite well as long as I don't bend it. I was pleased to say that my stamina has vastly improved from my birthday in April where I was unable to dance to any more than about 3 songs all night. This time I'd dance to 2-3 songs, sit down for a couple of minutes to have rest and a drink (I was almost entirely on soft drinks in the evening because it was still as hot as Satan's cleft) then get up again for some more. I probably danced for a few hours over the space of the 5 or so the evening entertainment was on, sod the pain and sod tomorrow. Sometimes you have to let loose and damn the consequences. (I didn't feel too bad the next day, surprisingly. I had strong painkillers before bed and some more in the morning, and it was manageable. I think the endorphins from all the fun helped me through.)

James commented the next day about me dancing, saying that I'm very light on my feet, and it's true. I might weigh a ton but I'm as light as air when I'm dancing, and I wasn't the only fat person showing them how it's done on the day of the wedding. There was a big guy, well over 6 feet tall and built like a brick shed, and he was ballroom dancing with his partner on the dance floor like you would not believe! He was twirling her around, turning on a dime and moving so fast I bet everyone in the room was thinking "Hell, that big guy can move!" Size does NOT mean you can't be graceful, agile, flexible or nimble. There's a myth that all fat people are clumsy, hulking, heavy-footed, graceless beings and it's bollocks, frankly. Myself and big fella are living proof you can be very abundant in size and still have all that good shit going on. Hashtag flawless, bitchezz.

Almost everyone was on the dance floor, especially the ladies, and more so as the night went on and people got more drunk, ha. This wasn't a shy and retiring wedding where most people are too polite to dance. Hell naw, people were flinging themselves around like rag dolls in a tumble drier. I bloody love weddings because dancing is such a celebration of joy and it's so good to see young and old alike getting up and having fun. Aside from seeing the happy couple get spliced, the dancing is ALWAYS my favourite bit of a wedding. If I've learned anything about the North/South divide from having so many friends up North it's that Northerners don't take themselves at all seriously and are always down for major fun. My mate R doing windmills with his arms all across the dance floor and his girlfriend W doing high kicks like Bruce Lee was one of the highlights of the night for me. I danced and laughed, laughed and danced. It was epic.

End of the night group photo - A, T, M & James // loo selfie // and again // A, T, M, me.

On the Sunday we were all a bit hanging in one way or another; it was a long day the day before. We went into Bury for a meal to make us feel a bit alive. I had sausage, chips, egg and beans. Just what the doctor ordered.

Bury is so pretty. There are flowers absolutely everywhere. James said to me "I don't get people who say it's grim up North. Have they ever been?!" I bloody love the North. I swear I was Northern in a past life. It calls to me, haha!

Pretty for the sake of it//gimme fuel//close up of flowers//lavender in pub beer garden.

I used to be really scared of all kinds of insects, but the older I get the more I see the connection to nature and all living things. I'm not afraid of bees or moths any more and am trying hard not to be afraid of spiders either. I was quite happy sitting next to a lavender bush with lots of bees visiting, especially when they stayed still long enough for me to capture them.

Lavender and bee // looking quite chirpy surprisingly // A, M, T // James

After lunch we had a nice walk around Bury, but I was really starting to flag, so we headed back to the hotel at about 4.30 for a nap and then we drove back overnight, arriving home in the early hours of Monday morning.

It was a fantastic wedding, and a great opportunity to catch up with our mates, who we don't get to see more than a couple of times a year due to them being spread all over the country - Manchester, Wiltshire and Hampshire amongst this small group alone. We stayed at the Premier Inn in Bury, right opposite the Town Hall and I'd recommend it to anyone. The staff were fantastic - friendly, warm and accommodating - and the hotel itself is really nice, with loads of seating for hungover mornings waiting for your brain to kick into gear, a Costa machine in reception for your caffeine fix, good food and a bar that stays open really late. There was secure underground car parking which is handy when you're not going to be using your car for 3 days. We left it and didn't have to worry about it. We'd certainly use it again. I think it's the nicest Premier Inn we've ever stayed at. All in all, the whole weekend was one big joyfest and one I'll be thinking about with extreme fondness for years to come.

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

(I didn't put many photos in of the bride & groom as it's their special day - if it wasn't going to be on Facebook I won't show it here. Nor did name anyone in full to protect the guilty, hehehe.)