Decluttering just got brutal - #KonMari everything


I've been up to quite a lot of things recently but not writing about them as I've been too busy doing. One of the things I've been doing for about a month is journaling (God knows I need to use alllll my notebooks for something!) and since I have a lot of things have become clear to me.

Ever since I could hold a pen in my chubby little mitt I'd write my thoughts down, but since I've been writing my thoughts out online I haven't tended to write by hand. I'm one of those people who can't think straight unless I write things down - typing them out just isn't the same. My brain doesn't seem to work so well without the scratch of pen on paper.

One of the things I've realised since I've been journaling is my maaaaaaany possessions don't make me happy. Far from it. I've known for a few years now that I surround myself with things to prove to myself I'm no longer poor. Growing up was hard at times - memories of being cold and hungry a lot of the time - and as soon as I could go to work I did. From the moment I started making my own money I used possessions to assure me those times were far behind me. Becoming a blogger exacerbated the materialism, as after all, fashion blogging revolves around things.
I've got to the point where my possessions are suffocating me, inhibiting my ability to enjoy my home, and giving me far more shame than pleasure. I've been reading a lot recently about Marie Kondo's book, and her method of eliminating excess possessions by asking yourself if they bring you joy.
I haven't bought the book - I think buying more possessions right now is the last thing I need - but I've been reading a lot about the methods behind it. When you want to get rid of an item you're supposed to thank it, then pop it in a bag to give away/sell. It feels bonkers at first, but within a few minutes I found myself saying things like 'Thanks for being with me on holiday in Ibiza in 2002.' Getting rid of a drawer full of period knickers on the basis that they definitely don't elicit feelings of joy was joyful in itself!

You're supposed to start with your clothes, and tip out EVERY item of clothing you own on your bed or some other space. So I did that one day last week, gathering from them from all the places I have them stashed. I ended up with a pile on our king sized bed that was 4 feet high. Seeing my excess like that in one place was overwhelming.
That is a LOT of clothes.

I've put aside 6 huge bin bags full of clothes to sell and there's still so many things left I plan to keep, but if I gain more resolve I may cull even more. I'm addicted to buying things. I use spending money as a salve to heal some broken part of me and it only ever lasts minutes. Sometimes I'm so disgusted with myself when parcels come I can hardly stand to open them. When I look at something covetable online a part of me thinks 'If I had that I'd be *insert quality* and I'd be happier.' But it's BS. You can't soothe a wound on the inside with any kind of material thing.

No amount of what you don't need will make you happy. It will never satisfy. You HAVE to look inside to where the problem is. I have some ideas about my constant dis-ease, of course. Growing up poor and never having new things. Moving away from my home town at 19 and living away from family and a lot of my friends. Perhaps even living with a man who has his head stuck in a computer most of the time. Loneliness is some of it, sure. But the rest? I probably need therapy for that. Knowing there's a problem and wanting to fix it is a start though.

Decluttering your life Marie Kondo-style is supposed to take 6 months. When I started this endeavour I thought 'Nah, it won't take me that long!' but it will. Sorting out which clothes to keep and which to sell was the easy bit. Washing/folding/selling/packaging and posting is going to be something I'll be doing over the next few months. I certainly won't be selling everything at once, as that'll be a huge undertaking. No, I'll be having a monthly sale.

So where am I at with KonMari-ing the shit out of everything? Well, the sorting phase is almost done with regards to my clothes - what to keep and what to sell. My to-sort pile is mercifully small. It gave me a 48 hour migraine doing it, but it's over now. I haven't started folding things in the way Kondo advises yet - for example, tee shirt patterns folded facing out, stored vertically in drawers so you can see what they are at a glance - but I have started putting things in the places they'll be living in.

Kondo suggests tackling clothing first, followed by books and assorted bits and bobs, paperwork, and last of all sentimental things like photographs. It's taken me years to build up this amount of crap, and I imagine it'll take more than a few months to get my itchy internet shopping addicted fingers to be still and my abode used to having less crap in it. Because right now my ability to spend money like it's going out of fashion is making me miserable. My home cluttered with possessions is making me miserable. My love of cheap tat is making me miserable. I'm going to try in future to buy much less, but buy better quality so I need less. Wish me luck.

Have you tried Marie Kondo's method? Are you a minimalist or a maximalist?

Thanks for reading,
L xoxo

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