Anxiety disorder and the importance of a morning routine

Anxiety-disorder-and-the-importance-of-a-morning-routine // www.xloveleahx.co.ukHaving anxiety disorder means as soon as I wake up I'm overwhelmed with things I need to do. They say an elephant never forgets, but I think it's the same for people with anxiety disorder. I'm scared to forget things so I have a never-ending to-do list in my head the second I wake up. No task slips my mind. I wake up knowing exactly what tasks I didn't do the day before, and before I've barely drawn breath a list of today's pressing tasks comes crashing down on top of me. It's no wonder it's hard to get out of bed on some days. As soon as I wake I'm giving myself a hard time.

Over the last couple of months I've introduced an idiot-proof 2-step routine which gives me the grace to actually wake up before I start beating myself up.

The first and most important thing in my morning routine is coffee.

You could say that's true of life too. 😉

I didn't use to be a coffee drinker, but I am now. I need a shot of 'go juice', especially in the dark months when SAD kicks my butt. I have a coffee in bed every morning. If it's the weekend James brings me a coffee in bed. He's an early riser so it's the least he can do. 😜 If I'm flying solo I make myself a coffee and head back to bed to enjoy it. It's me time and I wouldn't care if the Queen herself turned up on my doorstep - my coffee time is sacred. I might spend 10 minutes drinking it before I head into the living room or kitchen to get on with my day, or it might turn into an hour as I check my social media notifications. Either way it gives me the time and space to wake up to the day in my own time without any stress. It gives me *permission* to put those ever-pressing tasks out of mind until I've woken up properly. Whatever the first step in your morning routine is, make it non-negotiable. You deserve to wake up calm and gradually ease into your responsibilities for the day, whatever they are.

The second thing is breakfast. 

Sounds like the biggest no-brainer in the world, right? I've never really been a breakfast person, which probably explains why I've never been a morning person. Even in the past when I did really physically demanding jobs like cleaning aircraft I wouldn't eat breakfast. It never really occurred to me growing up poor, with a bit of a hard-knock life that there was any other way to be than brutally hard on myself all the time. When I was doing CBT for anxiety disorder a few years ago my therapist explained how we develop coping mechanisms to get through hard times in our lives. He said even when times are much better we tend to hold onto these learned behaviours as they kept us safe when we needed them to. For me it wasn't a choice to be really hard on myself - I was poor and had no choice but to be without food or work myself into the ground to make as much money as possible. And now Fibromyalgia and ME has put paid to my working life, I flog myself to death mentally instead.

With my new routine in place I'm fed and caffeinated before I start cracking the whip with all the tasks the day has in store for me, and I feel so much better equipped to deal with whatever the day throws at me now. Whatever it is that soothes you when you wake up - watching the news on tv, having a cuppa, doing yoga or meditation - it's a great thing to ease into your day knowing you can face everything if you face it one thing at a time.

These are complete no-brainer morning steps, but sometimes it takes your life falling to pieces before you realise it's OK to be kind to yourself. I hope you learn that lesson a lot sooner than I did. 💗

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

8 comments

  1. I am also not a breakfast person and I love my morning coffee. :) So what do you have for your breakfast?

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    1. Well, I've been cooking a lot recently as I'm tying to eat healthier and also eat less meat. I tend to have leftovers from the day before for breakfast, as another big thing of mine is not feeling energetic in the mornings or sometimes when the black dog strikes not feeling like I'm worth looking after. :/

      I feel better as the day goes on, so I normally cook up a huge pan of chili con carne or curry at tea time and then eat it for the next 2-3 days. I change it up a bit - sometimes I'll have a bit of grated cheese on top and reheat it a bit, or I'll have it cold and have it with a side of bread. By doing a big cook twice a week I can cover most of the week, and I'm also cramming loads of veg and legumes into my meals as well. Win win! I'm basically going to turn into rice and beans, because that's mainly what I'm eating all the time in some form!

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  2. OMG, anxiety is the VERY WORST. I haven’t mentioned on the blog, but Tom and Guy have just been to Tokyo for 10 days…. just for the hell of it. I said “no way” for a few years (because my anxiety was way too high) but realised they shouldn’t be short-changed by my unhappy brain…. especially Guy. I don’t want him to grow up being afriad of the world. So off they went — and arrived back this morning. I knew my anxiety about Guy being away would skyrocket (Tom’s health and safety didn’t worry me too much :)))) so I went back onto and SSRI antidepessant 3 months prior to them leaving. I think it’s help a huge amount. Yes, I had moment of wobbly worry but no massive, hideous, debilitating panic attacks….. after all, I still had a 6 year old at home to look after. I will probably stay on this medication now. It seems to suit me and I know (after 12 years being on and off it) that I prefer to be on it than not. I’m so pleased you have some some coping strategies :) for me, I have found abstaining from alcohol really works. I’m not a big drinker (I used to be I guess) but now it doesn’t suit me and I limit myself to one or two at the very most. Otherwise I get very jittery and can’t sleep a wink….. horrible.

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    1. I'm glad the meds helped and I'm also glad Guy got to experience that time with his dad. :) I bet he came back on cloud 9! Anxiety is awful. I haven't had a major panic attack since I've been on my meds and if I start to feel that way I can breathe through it now. Even on my meds though it still affects me every day, just in a not quite so crippling way as before.

      I think alcohol causes a heap of problems for people for lots of different reasons. I avoid it usually - I can go months without a drink. For me, it brings on such horrible pain and swelling. Many people with Fibromyalgia find alcohol brings widespread pain, so it's a good idea for me to avoid it. I went to a birthday party this weekend and probably had 8 or so drinks over a long evening, and now my body is painfully swollen. My fingers are like sausages and my ankles are puffy and horrible. I'm very happy to be a rare drinker. xxxxx

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  3. This post has been really helpful, your advice is simple but true. I'm guilty for being my own worst enemy thinking I'm not good enough etc and having a set routine like this could be just what I need. Although I'm usually woken by a small child barging into the room or shouting momma lol.

    I need to sort a night time one out as my mind is going ten to the dozen at bedtime.
    Xx

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    1. Hehehe, and I bet it's very hard to resist Mr Cutie when he comes in full of energy. ;)

      It's strange to come to a conclusion where basic self care is revolutionary, but if you grow up with a hard knock life - maybe a shortage of food, a shortage of love/care or a shortage of positive thoughts about ourselves - taking care of yourself definitely has to be LEARNED. It strikes me as more than odd aged 43 to have realised putting fuel in the engine actually means I work better, but there ya go. Every day is a school day! You're never too old to shirk off old thoughts and habits and learn to treat yourself right. Have you tried chamomile tea? It makes me REALLY sleepy, so much so I might wake up foggy-headed the next day, but I feel like I've slept well afterwards. xx

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  4. Thanks for sharing this. I face a lot of the same anxieties, especially when I wake up in the morning. I rush through my routine to go go go, when I really need to work through my routine step-by-step. I am also heavily reliant on coffee, and sometimes I'll go straight through lunchtime without a sip of water or bite of food, so I try to make a cup of coffee and a large tumbler of water to have on my desk as I start the day. Like you said, small steps taken one-at-a-time get things done. When I rush, I feel like I get less done because I'm more frantic than I am productive.

    Liz
    www.withwonderandwhimsy.com

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    1. I know that frantic feeling myself all too well. In my working life - especially in my last full time job - my anxiety was off the chain. I was really suffering mentally as I tried to do the workload of two or three people. If there's ever a spontaneous remission of Fibromyalgia and ME (although almost impossible) I would hope to carry over all that I've learned from being ill into my next job. Not only in taking on one task at a time, but my respecting my limits and advocating for myself. Sometimes people really take advantage as we let them.

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