My husband didn't settle either

I read an article today from Kat Stroud on Bustle and it really resonated with me. You can read it here.

I know there's a commonplace thought that slim, attractive men who date, marry and love fat women are settling for less somehow, but I've never been made to feel that way with my husband. I've never felt anyone had ever 'settled' for me, but the myth of a slim man settling for less then he 'deserves' in being with a fat woman refuses to die. Strangely, that is rarely the case with fat men paired with slim women, and that tells you all you need to know.

James and I met in arguably London's most-loved rock pub on my birthday night out 12 years ago, and the place was teeming with gorgeous women with model looks. I was curious about what attracted James to me over the other women there, and when I asked some months later he said it was because I was smiling and throwing my head back with laughter having the time of my life. I'd been let off the leash having escaped from an abusive relationship (which I wrote about here) and I was so happy to be out and having fun that I was living like someone had left the gate open and I'd got out. I had.

I'd been going to London for nights out clubbing or to gigs for a few years by the time I met James and found it a great confidence boost. With so many people of all backgrounds and nationalities concentrated into a small area the dating pool was deep and rich and I met a lot of interesting people. I accepted I was attractive to others in some way without questioning it too much or being conceited about it. I felt pretty great about myself most of the time and I went into my relationship with James on an even keel. That's not to say I didn't have hang ups and insecurities about my body at times over the years, but it had never stopped me getting to know people.

James's attraction to me is never in doubt. He's very touchy-feely and I'm very comfortable naked so he has plenty of opportunities to get hands-on. He compliments me every day and I feel very secure in our relationship.

That's not to say I haven't seen double-takes when people realise James and I are a couple, though. When someone can't hide their surprise when they realise we're a couple, it reaffirms how daft it is to pigeon hole people by their looks. There's someone for every body in this world, and for every heart. If you haven't met your someone, don't lose hope. The world may be shallow in places, but there are people who will fall in love with you. Every part of you. You're enough. There are millions of fat people who are loved and adored for all they are. I'm lucky to be one of them.

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