5 reasons dating sites are making me hate men

Whoa, that's a broad statement right?! Before the MRAs get up in arms, I'm talking about a certain type of man here, as will become obvious as you read through my 5 points. I'm waiting with baited breath for the first "Not all men!" I'm not saying all men, I'm not even saying all men on dating sites, I'm saying some men.

There is some adult content in this post.

5 reasons dating sites are making me hate men

  1. POSE FOR ME. I've been on a couple of dating sites (I've now come off them to save my sanity) and there was a pattern of men who wanted me to pose in a certain way. One wanted to see my arsehole (I wish I was joking!), one wanted me to go on all fours and take a photo over my back, one wanted a photo of a sex toy crammed where the sun don't shine........need I go on? I know men are very visual creatures but I would've needed 7 arms and 28 hours a day to fulfill the odd requests from the chaps I was talking to. I'm not some fat Barbie who can hang out all day taking photos to satisfy these whims.
  2. SELFIE RIGHT NOW. Whilst on the subject, a lot of the men I've been talking to have been quite demanding with selfies. I've had requests from as early as 6am and later than 11pm from men who want me to take a selfie of myself right now. Now I don't know about you dear readers, but I'm not photo-ready 24 hours a day. First and last thing I'm free of makeup, and besides which, the light! After dark I look like the Seer from Vikings (go Google him!). If it's not beautiful morning light which shines on me like the elixir of youth I'm not doing it.
  3. IGNORING BOUNDARIES. Another pattern I noticed was how a lot of fellas I spoke to were happy to ignore the simplest boundaries, like me saying I'm tired and needed to go to bed. "Oh no, stay up and talk to me!" - reasonably sweet. Then there'd be the guys who totally ignored that and would video call me with their dick in their hand. I've also been on a few dates with guys and ignoring of my boundaries figured heavily there. I had one date with someone I refer to as the "grabby handed wanker" as he turned up to pick me up for a drink and actually expected me to shag him in his car. I had to tell him to piss off several times before he got the hint. If a man can't take no for something simple, what else am I going to say no to and have him hear it as a yes?!
  4. PREDATORY/TOO MUCH SEX TALK. I'm a sexual woman, but there's even a line for me. I started talking to this gorgeous guy who had a great bio, he hated the Tories and UKIP (swoon) and seemed like an amazing bloke. Before long he was asking if I had videos of me "sucking and fucking" other guys that I could send him. Uh, how about you wank off into a sock full of superglue, mate? NO. There's a time and a place for a bit of sexy chat, and for me that's when you've been talking for a while and there's been some gentle flirting first. Coming in with "How big are those jugs?" isn't going to go well with me. 
  5. GUARANTEED SEX. This is a weird one but one I've encountered quite a lot. I can see someone's photo online and think "Yeah, you're fit as!" but I need to meet them to see if there's a spark. I've seen conventionally unattractive guys turn beautiful as they make me laugh so much or they're just lovely, and I've seen really good looking guys turn me right off if their personality is cruel or big headed. Quite a lot of the men I spoke to wanted express conformation that I would in fact want to boff them, but I can't say that. I had one guy on video call refuse to show me his full face unless I guaranteed I'd have sex with him. Two words - predatory arsehole! Personality is everything for me and I can't tell if I want to bump uglies with someone until I meet them. Hell, perhaps until I've met them a few times. Guaranteeing I'm going to do the horizontal tango with someone before I've even met them ain't gonna happen in most circumstances, and that did not go down well with some of these fellas.

Now, a disclaimer. I've come off the dating sites as it was too soon for me to be on them. I was using it as a distraction from my loneliness, but it was actually making it worse talking to the wrong men. I feel a lot better now I'm off the sites, and this post is to be taken semi-humourously as I don't really hate men. I know there are good men out there. I know there are good men out there on dating sites - you just have to wade through the dross. I do know quite a few people who are happily married because they met on dating sites. Even though I've come off the sites I'm still in touch with a few guys who are lovely so watch this space.

People, tell me your worst dating stories!

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo


  1. For the love of…..!!!! Just no! I could not *stand* it if these men spoke to me like that via a dating site. Are they even serious!!!??? Hideous! I know it’s not all men of course. Thankfully. Good idea to step back from that stuff for a while. ***shudders***. Christy xxx

    1. I watched a YouTube video recently where the guy was saying that basically dating sites are full of men with personality disorders and you have to get out in the real world to meet someone. I have a few friends who met on dating sites and are now happily married, but I don't know how they sifted through all the dross. It was waaaaaay too early for me to be on them anyway. I wanted to deflect my loneliness but all it did was make me feel lonelier than ever (and desperately miserable). xxxxxx

  2. Well me and Tom met on the dating site RSVP in 2002!!! It seems like SO long ago…. hardly anyone was doing it then, and the ones that were would never dream of admitting it - me included. It’s funny to think how rudimental and basic the site(s) were back then. Just one photo and a line or two of blurb. That’s it! Really quite innocent really. Stay strong, big hugs, Christy x