Hello lovelies,
Recently Simply Be got in touch to ask if I'd share their infographic all about summer confidence.
Discover the Simply Be swimwear collection
I'm in two minds about this infographic. On one hand, I look at the statistics and see that like a lot of women, I'm self conscious about my stomach, but then I see all the things women feel the need to arm themselves with before going to the beach - manis, pedis, cover ups, perfume, make up and a million other things and I feel so sad that this is an issue at all. It IS an issue though because women are programmed to compare themselves to others from birth, and there's also so much judgement about bigger bodies. I totally agree that well fitting swimwear is key to helping with beach confidence, but it pains me that a lot of women are so terrified of getting their bodies out they prepare for the beach like they're going to war.
How do I feel beach ready? I go to the beach, I put on a swimming costume and ta-daaaaaa I'm all done. Feeling the air on parts of my body which don't often get an airing is so freeing, and that in itself makes it a joyful experience. A couple of weeks ago I went to the beach (I'm lucky enough to live by the sea) and what did I do to get ready? Not a sausage. I had no make up on, I hadn't shaved for a few days, and parts of me were are pale I'm pretty sure I glow in the dark. No one looked at me, no one cared, and if they HAD said anything I would've given them the finger and carried on being fabulous.
I just want to hug every woman (and man) who feels so terrified of what should be a joyous, freeing occasion. When I was at the beach, I felt as joyful as I did on the beach as a child, with not a care in the world (until the sea chewed me up and spat me out, but that's another story altogether!) I know I'm lucky to be confident enough to get my size 28 body out on the beach and enjoy it, and that's something I wish for everyone, no matter what size they are. I hope with time and with more body positivity this is something we can all experience.
Readers, how do YOU feel about going to the beach? How to you prepare?
Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Confidence as a plus size woman
Monday, 30 June 2014
Hiya.
You know, as a plus sized woman I'm not 'supposed' to have any confidence in myself. I'm supposed to want to shrink, disappear, fall into line, conform.
I've been a stubborn little bugger since I came out of the womb, and I don't like being told how I should see myself, or others like me.
I've chosen this really silly photo of myself. Why? Because for me confidence is about not giving a crap what anyone thinks of me. I grew up being told what I could and couldn't do, both as a fat person and a poor person. I was always to know my standing and what kind of places I could or couldn't go in, what I could or couldn't wear.
When my nan died when I was 24 I realised
1. This life business really IS finite, and 2. It'd be bloody silly to go to my grave with a load of regrets, not having lived half my life because I was worried about what people thought of me.
From that point onwards I tried to live a more authentic life, a life which made me happy, and at first it was baby steps. Really small steps, so much so that I was barely moving forward. But moving forward I was, because deep down I knew some fundamental things, things you might need to hear:
No person's weight or size defines their worth. EVER. The world may try to show and tell you this is true, and many people may believe it, but it is a LIE. Your personality matters. Your heart matters. I'd much sooner be fat than a superior arsehole going through life judging other people as 'less than' to make myself feel better. Things that define me are kindness, my ability to love, my sense of humour, my filthy laugh, my love of animals, my belief that equality should be universal, my taste in music and my unhealthy obsession with Jason Momoa. The size of my arse? Truly immaterial in the grand scheme of things.
You are enough, just as you are. You are worthy. You are loveable. You deserve all good things just as anyone else does.
It's OK to like yourself, really. It's even better to love yourself, and believe me when you have a non-normative body and you love yourself, it really puts a kink in people's piss pipes. They might not 'get' it, and that might mean as little as a quizzical look on their face as you sashay by full of awesomeness. They might not get it and this may mean they try to kill your enthusiasm for your love of self with shitty words. This speaks volumes of them and nothing of you.
It's OK to be vain. I love myself. I look in the mirror and think 'I would!' Of course there are days when I don't like what I see, but there are far many more when I take into account all my so-called flaws (as society would have me see them) and I still think 'Damn, you fineeeee.' Hahaha.
Why am I writing about confidence today? Because Plus Confidence in You are holding a fundraiser to raise funds for a plus size art exhibition.
Plus Confidence in You Is an organisation designed to promote body confidence and having a positive body image. The whole team behind the project recognise that growing up when you look different from others is tough - especially when the media is telling you that your body doesn't look just how it should.
So... They have come up with an exciting concept - A Plus Size Art Exhibition! The more we can surround ourselves with photos of bodies of all sizes and the more we can see strong, confident women of size rocking their bodies and doing their thing, the easier life will come.
The Plus Size Art Exhibition is designed to showcase stunning artistic images of women sized everything between a dress size 20 and a dress size 30. The art exhibition has been a long time coming and as such a lot of work has had to go into it - and now thanks to this funding project you have the chance to be involved in something different!
What does confidence mean to you?
Thanks for reading!
Leah xoxo
You know, as a plus sized woman I'm not 'supposed' to have any confidence in myself. I'm supposed to want to shrink, disappear, fall into line, conform.
I've been a stubborn little bugger since I came out of the womb, and I don't like being told how I should see myself, or others like me.
I've chosen this really silly photo of myself. Why? Because for me confidence is about not giving a crap what anyone thinks of me. I grew up being told what I could and couldn't do, both as a fat person and a poor person. I was always to know my standing and what kind of places I could or couldn't go in, what I could or couldn't wear.
 |
| No fucks given |
1. This life business really IS finite, and 2. It'd be bloody silly to go to my grave with a load of regrets, not having lived half my life because I was worried about what people thought of me.
From that point onwards I tried to live a more authentic life, a life which made me happy, and at first it was baby steps. Really small steps, so much so that I was barely moving forward. But moving forward I was, because deep down I knew some fundamental things, things you might need to hear:
No person's weight or size defines their worth. EVER. The world may try to show and tell you this is true, and many people may believe it, but it is a LIE. Your personality matters. Your heart matters. I'd much sooner be fat than a superior arsehole going through life judging other people as 'less than' to make myself feel better. Things that define me are kindness, my ability to love, my sense of humour, my filthy laugh, my love of animals, my belief that equality should be universal, my taste in music and my unhealthy obsession with Jason Momoa. The size of my arse? Truly immaterial in the grand scheme of things.
You are enough, just as you are. You are worthy. You are loveable. You deserve all good things just as anyone else does.
It's OK to like yourself, really. It's even better to love yourself, and believe me when you have a non-normative body and you love yourself, it really puts a kink in people's piss pipes. They might not 'get' it, and that might mean as little as a quizzical look on their face as you sashay by full of awesomeness. They might not get it and this may mean they try to kill your enthusiasm for your love of self with shitty words. This speaks volumes of them and nothing of you.
It's OK to be vain. I love myself. I look in the mirror and think 'I would!' Of course there are days when I don't like what I see, but there are far many more when I take into account all my so-called flaws (as society would have me see them) and I still think 'Damn, you fineeeee.' Hahaha.
Why am I writing about confidence today? Because Plus Confidence in You are holding a fundraiser to raise funds for a plus size art exhibition.
Plus Confidence in You Is an organisation designed to promote body confidence and having a positive body image. The whole team behind the project recognise that growing up when you look different from others is tough - especially when the media is telling you that your body doesn't look just how it should.
So... They have come up with an exciting concept - A Plus Size Art Exhibition! The more we can surround ourselves with photos of bodies of all sizes and the more we can see strong, confident women of size rocking their bodies and doing their thing, the easier life will come.
The Plus Size Art Exhibition is designed to showcase stunning artistic images of women sized everything between a dress size 20 and a dress size 30. The art exhibition has been a long time coming and as such a lot of work has had to go into it - and now thanks to this funding project you have the chance to be involved in something different!
What does confidence mean to you?
Thanks for reading!
Leah xoxo
My confidence with Curvissa
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Hiya pickles.
When I was at the Curvissa event we were asked to answer a brief questionnaire about what makes us confident. Here are my answers which they kindly made up into a graphic.
I forgot to mention Tess Munster as a body confidence role model as well, whom I adore.
I didn't really have any confidence up until a couple of years ago. I was put on my first diet by my mum (dragged to the doctors) and had to see a dietician for ages. That didn't exactly give me the foundation to be confident about myself at all. I grew up being brutally self-aware and HATED being looked at, or being in public at all. My weight has yo-yoed up and down for almost all my life, and I only stopped dieting a few years ago when my health got shit. That may seem counter intuitive, but you try living with a couple of chronic illnesses and you see how much energy you've got for self-flagellation. That's 20+ years of trying to shrink myself.
So what happened? The internet! First of all I found fat confident women on MySpace, and they gave me hope. Then 2-3 years ago I discovered plus size blogs, and I told myself I could never put myself out there like they do, but I read on and I was aching to take part.
Eventually I had what I call a 'soft launch'. I did an outfit post or two and no one said 'Burn the witch!' so I got more confident over time and here I am. Now I wear things I never would've dreamed of a few years ago and give far less of a shit than I used to. I'm never going to be the most comfortable of people in social situations because I came out of the womb anxious (it took me almost a lifetime to realise it - I thought everyone tormented themselves to the nth degree about everrrrrrrrrthang.)
Plus size blog reading helped me feel more confident, like there was a place for me in the world after all. Blogging myself has given me even more - I know my shape and what suits me so much better from looking at photos of myself I take almost every day (vain, yup!) and my own body has become normalised. The more I look at myself, the more I like myself.
So yes, now I am confident.
If you like you can answer questions 2-5 in the comments, I'd love to know what makes you feel confident!
Thanks for reading.
When I was at the Curvissa event we were asked to answer a brief questionnaire about what makes us confident. Here are my answers which they kindly made up into a graphic.
 |
| CLICK TO ENLARGE |
I forgot to mention Tess Munster as a body confidence role model as well, whom I adore.
I didn't really have any confidence up until a couple of years ago. I was put on my first diet by my mum (dragged to the doctors) and had to see a dietician for ages. That didn't exactly give me the foundation to be confident about myself at all. I grew up being brutally self-aware and HATED being looked at, or being in public at all. My weight has yo-yoed up and down for almost all my life, and I only stopped dieting a few years ago when my health got shit. That may seem counter intuitive, but you try living with a couple of chronic illnesses and you see how much energy you've got for self-flagellation. That's 20+ years of trying to shrink myself.
So what happened? The internet! First of all I found fat confident women on MySpace, and they gave me hope. Then 2-3 years ago I discovered plus size blogs, and I told myself I could never put myself out there like they do, but I read on and I was aching to take part.
Eventually I had what I call a 'soft launch'. I did an outfit post or two and no one said 'Burn the witch!' so I got more confident over time and here I am. Now I wear things I never would've dreamed of a few years ago and give far less of a shit than I used to. I'm never going to be the most comfortable of people in social situations because I came out of the womb anxious (it took me almost a lifetime to realise it - I thought everyone tormented themselves to the nth degree about everrrrrrrrrthang.)
Plus size blog reading helped me feel more confident, like there was a place for me in the world after all. Blogging myself has given me even more - I know my shape and what suits me so much better from looking at photos of myself I take almost every day (vain, yup!) and my own body has become normalised. The more I look at myself, the more I like myself.
So yes, now I am confident.
If you like you can answer questions 2-5 in the comments, I'd love to know what makes you feel confident!
Thanks for reading.
Love yourself - some words about confidence
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
When James and I met, we were in a famous London rock bar full of gorgeous ladies, but it was me who drew his gaze because I was smiling lots and throwing my head back with laughter having a bloody ball.
I used to have a BIG problem having a good time. To put it bluntly, I had a rod up my arse! I used to think people would stare or say something if I did the things I wanted to do. My nan died in 1998 and I had somewhat of an epiphany. I realised life is too short to worry about what other people think about you.
With regards to body image, we ALL have bits of us we don't like. For us larger ladies, we might have more worries than other girls, as we have size to deal with, as well as shape. All we have to do is concentrate on our good bits. Men tend to see the big picture (pardon the pun!), tending to not focus on the things we might. Hate your tum? (I hate mine at times) but have great teeth? Grin like a Cheshire cat! I take great pride in my hair and get a Toni N Guy hairdresser to attend to my locks. Great tits? Work it, as Gok would say! Got gorgeous creamy skin? Look after it. Got beautiful eyes? Show them off. Maximise all your good bits, and don't fret over your perceived 'bad' bits. And remember, just because we might not like something about ourselves, it doesn't mean others think the same. You might hate your dimply knees but someone else might think they're the cutest thing they've ever seen.
If you've totally lost sight of your good bits, ask your good friends what they think your best qualities are. You might be pleasantly surprised! (If you're not, you might need new friends!)
I feel my best when my hair is clean and shiny, I've got my favourite perfume on, my nails and make up are looking great and I have an outfit on which looks good and is comfortable. Then I'm ready to go out and have fun. I might have the fattest arse on anyone wherever I'm going, but I'm the best me I can be at that moment, so I'm happy.
Also take pride in your non-physical attributes. I swear some physically-gifted people never have to cultivate a personality. I know I'm funny, witty and intelligent. Why wouldn't someone want to hang out with me? Why wouldn't a gorgeous guy want to be with me?!
And on those inevitable hormonal days when I feel horrible, I look at pictures of other plus sized ladies and remind myself how beautiful we are!
Go and make friends with that mirror NOW!
What makes you feel your best?
Thanks for reading.
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