My confidence with Curvissa

Hiya pickles.

When I was at the Curvissa event we were asked to answer a brief questionnaire about what makes us confident. Here are my answers which they kindly made up into a graphic.

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I forgot to mention Tess Munster as a body confidence role model as well, whom I adore.

I didn't really have any confidence up until a couple of years ago. I was put on my first diet by my mum (dragged to the doctors) and had to see a dietician for ages. That didn't exactly give me the foundation to be confident about myself at all. I grew up being brutally self-aware and HATED being looked at, or being in public at all. My weight has yo-yoed up and down for almost all my life, and I only stopped dieting a few years ago when my health got shit. That may seem counter intuitive, but you try living with a couple of chronic illnesses and you see how much energy you've got for self-flagellation. That's 20+ years of trying to shrink myself.

So what happened? The internet! First of all I found fat confident women on MySpace, and they gave me hope. Then 2-3 years ago I discovered plus size blogs, and I told myself I could never put myself out there like they do, but I read on and I was aching to take part.

Eventually I had what I call a 'soft launch'. I did an outfit post or two and no one said 'Burn the witch!' so I got more confident over time and here I am. Now I wear things I never would've dreamed of a few years ago and give far less of a shit than I used to. I'm never going to be the most comfortable of people in social situations because I came out of the womb anxious (it took me almost a lifetime to realise it - I thought everyone tormented themselves to the nth degree about everrrrrrrrrthang.)

Plus size blog reading helped me feel more confident, like there was a place for me in the world after all. Blogging myself has given me even more - I know my shape and what suits me so much better from looking at photos of myself I take almost every day (vain, yup!) and my own body has become normalised. The more I look at myself, the more I like myself.

So yes, now I am confident.

If you like you can answer questions 2-5 in the comments, I'd love to know what makes you feel confident!

Thanks for reading.


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