TMI to the MAX! Fat and disabled sex


SOUND THE KLAXON! I'm going to talk about sex. If the very idea of a fat person getting it on curdles the milk in your cornflakes, do move on, there's a dear.

If you're in my family or circle of close friends and don't want to hear about my sex life FER GAWD'S SAKE abort abort ABORT! I don't want anyone I'm going to have to look at in the eye to read this. Please, for all that is good and holy, move on. Gone? Thanks.

OK. News flash. Fat people enjoy sex. Not all fat people, but this one does. I'm also disabled, and I like sex. Not all disabled people will like sex (or will be able to have sex) but I can and do. It's a privilege to be able to enjoy some under duvet tusslin'.

There are many kinds of sex undertaken by people - same sex, opposite sex; involving fingers, tongues, implements both buzzing and otherwise; and good ol' meat popsicle friction. It's ALL good. The sex I have involves vag and cock, as I have a vag and hubby has a cock, so that's what I'll be talking about.

Onto what I've learned. I'll be using many euphemisms as 'penis', 'vagina' and 'cum' make me giggle, even at the age of 40. Don't judge, I am after all English, stiff upper lip and all that. I'm giggling at 'stiff' too.


Don't fall into thinking you have to be able to enact the entire contents of the Karma Sutra in your life time, and that's whether you're able bodied or not, thin or fat. Get to know three or four positions really well and have done with it unless you have a yen to be a sexual gymnast. I don't mind if every centimetre of my vag hasn't been explored in a boff session. Personally, if someone was changing positions every minute I'd want to smack them around the head with a frying pan. I want to achieve a state of nirvana, not feel like my cock-canister is being mapped for the National Geographic. Get in the zone and plug away at it, I say!


I have a tilted uterus and I've always had to adapt some positions without really thinking about it. In doggie, I do 'head down arse up' so I can get a decent meat injection. (Did I really just type that?!) There are some positions I just can't do because of the way my lady-tunnel lies - like reverse cowgirl. Nope, ain't happening. When it comes to being fat, there haven't been many adaptations to make, I'd say being disabled has posed us more problems. I'll talk at the end about positions that seem to work well for us from the perspective of me being fat and disabled. The main thing to remember is there's no right or wrong way to have sex. Assuming you've been with the person you're getting jiggy with for a while (new sex needs a whole post of its own!) just know they want to be with you, they know what you look like and won't mind a few adaptations if it means you both have fun. A lot of fun! I find well placed pillows or cushions can help out in a number of ways. Don't be afraid to mess up your bed in pursuit of some oh-oh-ohhhhgasms.


My husband is a liberated fellow who realises that men are biologically programmed to deposit their hot man-porridge and that sometimes I need a bit more stimulation to get there, and sometimes I find it hard to relax. We have a selection of bits and bobs to enhance both our pleasures. Also bear in mind that certain medications can make it hard to get your naughty bits a-tingling. My anti-anxiety meds have made it really difficult for me to arrive at O-Town, and sometimes I feel like I need something which vibrates with the power a pneumatic drill! There's no shame in needing a bit more stimulation than your partner can provide, as after all you're still having sex with them, just with a little bit of assistance.


Sometimes things go wrong during sex and the only thing to do is laugh. When going down on someone the occasional fart might pop out in your face, no matter how hard the other person tries to hold it in, and there may be no dog present to blame it on. Sometimes when going at it like a barn door in a force 9 gale a knob can fly out of the hole it has been drilling, and then there's fanny farts, or queefs as they're called these days. When you think about it, there's a lot that can go wrong during sex and you have to be able to have a good giggle then get right back to it. Plus I'm reliably informed that when a girl laughs during sex it squeezes his pork sword nicely. ;)

OK, positions that work for us.

Missionary - no adaptations needed, but I do sometimes get cramp in my hips and/or pains in my collarbones (from the strain of having someone else's weight on top of me.) It's a case of waiting it out or changing positions.

Missionary with my ankles as his ear warmers - I have my legs up round hubby's neck, and rather than me having to hold my legs aloft (which would cause a lot of pain and cramping) he leans on them and takes the strain off me. The plus for him is he gets to see the in-ing and out-ing - men are such visual creatures.

Doggie - head down and arse up as described earlier. Because my wrists are so painful having any amount of weight on them is excruciating, so I lean on my elbows and that helps a lot.

Me laying with my bum on the edge of the bed/sofa, him kneeling in front - This is great for fat sex as he's not on top of my tummy. Hubby can control the thrust, and can also lift my legs up if I'm getting cramp from being in one position.

Obviously that's all to do with penetrative sex, so for other kinds of manual tomfoolery use pillows to prop up your arms, swap arms if you get tired, and if you're feeling really beat, get them to take over with some self-love for a minute or two so you can shake out your cramp.

Tell me, what adaptations have you made to make your fat and/or disabled sex more enjoyable for you?

If you've read this and you know me in real life, do not mention it, hahaha!

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