Hiatus

Hiatus. I've looked at the word for so long it almost feels foreign to my eyes.

There's something almost reverential about putting pen to paper as opposed to fingers to keyboard. I think I read once that most of your brain is formed by the time you're 7, which explains why I can't think clearly unless I'm writing out my thoughts. From the time I could hold a pen and pad I poured out my every thought, childhood fantasy and embarrassing teenage lament. I write to see how I feel, and sometimes the words are scratched out by hand and a decision made before it has even registered with my brain.

I don't feel like my thoughts are half as eloquent without the scratch of pen on paper, the indent on the next few pages of an opinion fiercely expressed. I should freestyle my blog posts before I commit them to the keyboard and make them indelible. Words can be erased from the internet but not from hearts and minds, as I've discovered in the past.

Writer's block is a pain in the arse, but I call it writer-speak for being knackered. If you've never been too tired to think straight then I envy you. Sometimes there's just too much horror in the world to take in and the words retreat like clouds on a sunny day. The only thing you can do to beat it is to NOT beat it - you have to give yourself a break, which is what I intend to do now (present commitments willing).

A writer gives of themselves and life gives too, but it also takes away in increments. Our hope, our energy, and at some points the ability to take in any more suffering. This is how I find myself now - careworn, sad and overwhelmed. I'll be back when the need to share words outweighs my exhaustion, until which time be good to yourselves. ❤

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

10 comments

  1. Please look after yourself. I know you will. Take care and lots of cuddles from this end. xxxxxx Christy xxxxxxx

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    1. Thanks Christy! I'm getting better at this self care lark so I've been reading lots and watching lots of tv, but doing some exercise too as that really helps my mental health. Big hugs back. xxxxxxxx

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  2. There is nothing better than a good old piece of paper and a pen. I tend to write stuff down before blogging. Take care of yourself lovely. Big hugs xx

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    1. I should do it more often, it really helps me clarify what I want to say. I've got no excuse - I've got at least 30 notepads, probably more! Thanks Nic, self care is coming easier with practice and I've discovered the joy of exercise for mental health and that's helping too. Nothing too strenous, a dance party for one certainly gets the blood flowing when I feel shit. Hugs back! xxx

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  3. Noooooooo! I can't bear the thought of not seeing you somewhere online. Will you still be chatting on Instagram? Stay in contact if you can...chrislee59@live.com and enjoy your hiatus.

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    1. Thank you lovely Christie. I'm still posting up a storm on Instagram, I'd just run out of energy and pretty pictures to share on the blog. James and I just had a really nice weekend and we got outside both days so I have something to blog about again soon. :) xxx

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  4. Hi Leah, take some time to rest honey but try not to be gone too long ok? The blogging world would be so much darker and lonelier without your lovely self in it. Your blog is one of the nicest, friendliest places online. You should be so proud of what you've built honey and it's all you. Sending heaps of love and huggles dear wee friend, Rosie xxx

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    1. Thank you lovely Rosie. After having a lovely weekend and getting out on both days to take outfit photos I feel a lot happier and like I actually have something to say again. James felt better this weekend so I got out for a break from these four walls and that's helped my mood ever so much. Big hugs and thanks for the kind words! xxx

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  5. Sometimes a break is the best thing in the world for creativity, hope and the soul - I really hope you're having a gorgeous rest and it's bringing restorative goodness your way. xx

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    1. Thanks Zoe! <3 I'm still a slave to my inbox, but I'm going on holiday soon and I intend to blissfully ignore everyone's demands of me. ;) xx

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