Goals for 2015 and weight loss ain't one of them

Hello lovelies!

It's THAT time of the year where everyone and his dog vows to go on a cabbage diet and jog for 4 hours a day as well as single handedly bringing about world peace. Too much sarcasm? ;)

Call them resolutions, goals or aims, the intent at this time of year is usually the same - drastic change. Drastic change as inferred because the current you isn't good enough. Well I say FUCK THAT.

I'm all about slow and steady change, realistic goals and no self-flagellation (unless that's your kink, of course!)

Here's what I'm aiming for next year.

1. Using washing up gloves when I wash up as my hands are looking a bit ropey these days. Bonus - my nails should split less if I do. This is the first thing that came to mind - random or what?!
2. Up the exercise because joints that work in old age are great. I'm going to get back into yoga and have swingy, lubricated joints rather than ones which creak in the cold. If moving more makes things shrink a bit then so be it, but my goal is strength and ease of movement for now and the future. I might even buy some light weights and do a bit of lifting. I hear it's very good for you. RAAAAAAAH!
3. Spend less money on me and more on things for the flat. We've been here nearly 5 years and will hopefully be here at least a couple more. I have this thing where I never really do anything to a place we rent as it never feels like home, but then it'll never feel like home if I don't do anything to it. ;) I say I as James would rather chop his third leg off than do DIY.
4. Buy less overall. I've come back from my Christmas in Kent and London with a real bee in my bonnet about simplifying my life and getting rid of clutter. If I buy less overall there'll be less to look after, and thus less stress for me. 
5. Take my bloody asthma inhalers. I'm one stupid asthmatic. My lungs slam shut when it's as cold as this but do I remember to take the things which help me breathe? Not usually.
6. Get back on my skin care game. I've let it slip the last few months as I've been under the winter blues, and it shows. Moar exfoliation! Milia, be gone, you stubborn wee shits!
7. Start doing date nights with hubby. We'll have been together 12 years in April and I feel the need for some special times to make things feel more lovey-dovey. His ideal night in involves him lovingly caressing his pc, and I need to drag him out of the house occasionally.
8. Drink more water. It'll make my skin and hair look so much better. I've given up Coke/Pepsi (except for the occasional one every couple of weeks) and I'm drinking sugar free squash instead so hopefully it'll be relatively easy to do. 
9. Continue to try new things in fashion, but definitely thrift more things rather than buying new. I'm putting myself on a Simply Be and New Look ban. I'm banning Simply Be as I have a big bill to pay off, and I'm nixing New Look as I'm still not happy with them removing Inspire from stores. (I still buy bags and shoes from them, but not clothes and I haven't done in a couple of months.)
10. Be more me - even if this means less people want to work with me on the blog. As much as it's nice to be sent things, I'd sooner squeeze in the odd swear word for emphasis than worry about whether this puts a potential collaborator off. I constantly self-censor, but I'm tiring of it. It doesn't mean every other word will start with an F or a C, you can expect things as they are now (only one F word in this post, whooo!) I also mean I'll be more honest - about my mental health and how it affects me (I feel like I've been stuck on a rollercoaster for the last few months, the highs and lows have been so extreme) and everything else. I feel there's a slight shift happening in blogging and the ultra-polished magazine-feel blogs (although they have their place) are losing popularity to people who write with honesty and heart. I love real blogs - even if they expose ugly emotions or trying times. Ultimately I connect to people who struggle, because I think we all do in life from time to time. 
11. Either start swatching my enormous 'to blog' make up pile or give up on that idea and just USE IT goddamnit.

That's about it for now. None of these aims stem from 'I hate myself' because I bloody don't, and because this time of year is absolutely toxic for that. Ugh. It makes me come out in hives just thinking about all the dozens of people I'm going to see on social media promising everyone (and themselves) a 'better them' as they feel the current one is unacceptable. Please know you are fine as you are, that the world is totally fucked up when it comes to body image (oh bum, that's 2 eff words now!) but if you do want to change something about yourself - do all things from a position of love, and all will be well. I promise. You rock, you've got this, and whatever may or may not happen this coming year, you are still perfect and loveable and precious, so please know that, and don't beat yourself up. OK?

Tell me 3 things you want to achieve in 2015 which stem from self-love, not self hatred. Go go go!

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

Oh no! Not another one of those posts!

Hello lovelies.

Yes, it's yet another friggin' New Year aims post!

1. I aim to carry on trying to think the best of myself and other people, because the world is so much nicer with a happy slant on it.

HOW - Note any self-critical thoughts or judgmental thoughts about others, pull myself up on them and choose to look for positives. There are ALWAYS positives.

2. I aim to be more present in all that I do. My attention span isn't good for a couple of reasons. Fibromyalgia makes me feel like I have a swarm of angry bees in my head at the best of times (which makes keeping track of my thoughts a problem - I often lose track halfway through my own sentences.) I don't make things any easier for myself for always having a laptop or mobile phone within arms reach. Add noise from the tv into that and I'm a lost cause.

HOW - I need to switch off and commit myself to one thing at a time. Perhaps in future when I'm blogging I'll close all the other tabs on my laptop and turn my phone off. Everything I do deserves my full attention. I don't want to be 'halfway there' in my interactions with people any more, because my loved ones deserve better, and so do I.

3. I aim to find a solution for the clutter I seem to attract wherever I go. The flat is clean but somewhat untidy with occasional bursts of tidiness (usually when someone is coming round and I don't want them to think I'm a lazy moo!)

HOW - I either need to find more energy (ha ha HA - that's the laugh of a very jaded Spoonie), whip the Mr into shape (he really makes life difficult with his man-chuck-everything-on-floor habits), or get a cleaner in for an hour a week to do the things that knacker me (like hoovering and mopping) so I can concentrate on de-cluttering. ORRRRR I could stop buying things then there's less crap to deal with in the first place. Radical thought, that. ;)

4. This is the most important aim of all. The last 6 months of 2013 were spent ill in one way or another and this has carried over to 2014. Right now I feel like I'm in the worst condition of my life. My breathing has been awful for the last couple of months. To put it into perspective - my step dad has COPD and had a chest infection at Christmas and he commented on how bad my breathing was! I was as out of breath as he was. I know I have asthma, but holy shitballs!

HOW - I haven't done yoga in a long time because of the exhaustion from Fibromyalgia and CFS/ME (compounded by the hideous insomnia of recent times) but somehow I need to get past that barrier and start doing it again to try to claw back some condition, even if it's only 5 minutes a day. I know for a lot of people with CFS/ME exercise can be dangerous and harmful but I need to give it a shot. Having got to the point where my quality of life is the crappiest it's ever been, I need to make a last ditch attempt. With every new period of worsening health there's always a panic about 'What new thing will this take away from me?!' and that's true now. Things have got so bad I have to see if there's anything I can do to help myself, before I 'give in' to being even more incapacitated than before. Imagine having to breathe through a straw and that's what it's like when your lungs are playing up - everything slows down when there's not enough air getting in. I guess this is my last stand to see if I can do anything to help myself. If I end up in a bloody wheelchair or bedridden I want to know I did everything I could to try to avoid it.

I actually feel quite positive despite this post (ha!) and am sure this year is going to be a cracker. Two of my friends just got engaged, another two are getting married this year, and I'm going to be 40 in April (fat, fabulous and 40, dahhhlings!) I can't wait to see how the rest of the year pans out!

What are you looking forward to this year? Do you have any aims you want to share?

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you were one of the bloggers whose badges I had on my page, I now have a tab under my header called 'Fave blogs'. All the buttons and links are in there. I may put them back in my sidebar at some point - we shall see!

More resolutions - the fun stuff!

Hiya darls,

Often resolutions are about taking things away - eating less, spending less, yadda yadda yawn. I did a post a while ago with my aims for the year, which is here, but it's boring! I've been thinking since and wanted to add some fun stuff. These are the things I want to do more of this year.

1. Put a favourite song on and dance around the living room like a whirling dervish for five minutes a day. 

I've been doing it and it makes me feel fantastic. So throw some seriously hideous shapes, jump up and down (if your knees can take it), turn your arms into windmills, and even better - do it in front of a mirror. I guarantee no matter how down you feel, when you see yourself flinging your limbs about like a rag doll in a spin cycle, you will smile. You might even laugh. I know I did! You'll give your body and soul a boost, and if you've got the energy, dance on.

Dancing is joyful. You can't dance and be sad, you just can't.

2. Don't be daunted by anything. 

As soon as the little voice in your head starts to tell you you can't do something, tell it to shut up. My little voice is a negative little sod so I'm going to be telling it to shut up a LOT this year.

How do you know whether you can do something before you even try?

3. Remember little decisions have big consequences.

I don't mean fret about every tiny decision, micromanaging your life to the nth degree. I mean the opposite - take chances, say yes, realise when an opportunity is in front of you. Here's a prime example for you. 10 years ago, a friend of mine called Lawrence asked me if he could bring his friend James to my birthday drinks in London. He described James and I wasn't too keen, but I said yes anyway because to me, it's always a case of the more the merrier. I met James, and I still wasn't that keen at first, but it turns out he was all right after all. We ended the night with our tongues down each other's throats and got married last April.

You never know where your little choices will take you. Fly by the seat of your pants a little. Be open to fate, or whatever else you want to call it. Just be open.

4. Spend more time around nature and with animals.

Catching sunsets and sunrises, walks in the countryside and being with animals are all things which really soothe my soul. As plugged into the internet as I am, nothing makes me as happy as mooing back at cows.

5. Read more real news and less of who's shagging who.

As salacious as the gossip pages of magazines are, there's only so much time I have to cram things of worth into my brain. When reading about Kim Car-crash-ian and Kanye 'Imma let you finish' West's forthcoming offspring, I yawned so hard I nearly lost the back of my head over the sofa. I seriously couldn't give less of a shit about Kimye's baby if I'd been constipated from birth. I want to learn about the Egyptians, find out why Elvis liked fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches and find out what makes serial killers tick, not find out which footballer some wannabe starlet is boffing.

6. I want to liven up my make up. 

I'm not sure what's caused it, but I've really toned down my make up in the last few years. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a few years older and not so fond of my face, or if becoming ill has stolen all my pizazz, or else I'm afraid the postie's going to catch me with only one eye done (ha!) but I have gone from Miss turquoise/purple/green (all at once) on my eyes to brown, brown and brown. I have sooooooo much make up, and I'm going to aim to do my make up every single day. I have enough of it. My to swatch/review pile weighs more than two toddlers. Seriously. Start bloody using it, wumman!

7. Do something that makes me feel amazing/special/pretty a day. 

This could be anything! For instance styling my hair differently, putting a pretty bow in my hair, doing my make up in a daring way, doing some nail art, having a pamper, carrying out a random act of kindness, hugging someone new, complimenting someone, doing a good deed, sending someone a present just because, helping an old lady reach something in the supermarket, smiling at a stranger in the street, petting a waggy-tailed dog, sending someone a note letting them know how much I appreciate them, saying I love you more and loving without caution and fear.

Our days have a tendency to race by, with little to distinguish one from another. I strongly feel this year I need to make each and every day count, and for me there's no better way to feel good than to do something for others as often as possible (with a little bit of being good to myself, too.) That's the kind of thing that gives me an inner glow. 2013 will be the year where I open up myself more than ever before to possibilities, to new people and new things. This will be a year where I tell caution to go eff itself and listen more to my heart, which wants to love with abandon. Only my head tells me to be wary of people and getting hurt. My heart is as big as the moon, my arms are soft and squishy for the best hugs and this year I want to spread a little love. Will you be joining me in a 2013 love-fest?

I think that's all for now.

What one thing do you want to do more of (or do differently) this year?

Thanks for reading.