Oh no! Not another one of those posts!

Hello lovelies.

Yes, it's yet another friggin' New Year aims post!

1. I aim to carry on trying to think the best of myself and other people, because the world is so much nicer with a happy slant on it.

HOW - Note any self-critical thoughts or judgmental thoughts about others, pull myself up on them and choose to look for positives. There are ALWAYS positives.

2. I aim to be more present in all that I do. My attention span isn't good for a couple of reasons. Fibromyalgia makes me feel like I have a swarm of angry bees in my head at the best of times (which makes keeping track of my thoughts a problem - I often lose track halfway through my own sentences.) I don't make things any easier for myself for always having a laptop or mobile phone within arms reach. Add noise from the tv into that and I'm a lost cause.

HOW - I need to switch off and commit myself to one thing at a time. Perhaps in future when I'm blogging I'll close all the other tabs on my laptop and turn my phone off. Everything I do deserves my full attention. I don't want to be 'halfway there' in my interactions with people any more, because my loved ones deserve better, and so do I.

3. I aim to find a solution for the clutter I seem to attract wherever I go. The flat is clean but somewhat untidy with occasional bursts of tidiness (usually when someone is coming round and I don't want them to think I'm a lazy moo!)

HOW - I either need to find more energy (ha ha HA - that's the laugh of a very jaded Spoonie), whip the Mr into shape (he really makes life difficult with his man-chuck-everything-on-floor habits), or get a cleaner in for an hour a week to do the things that knacker me (like hoovering and mopping) so I can concentrate on de-cluttering. ORRRRR I could stop buying things then there's less crap to deal with in the first place. Radical thought, that. ;)

4. This is the most important aim of all. The last 6 months of 2013 were spent ill in one way or another and this has carried over to 2014. Right now I feel like I'm in the worst condition of my life. My breathing has been awful for the last couple of months. To put it into perspective - my step dad has COPD and had a chest infection at Christmas and he commented on how bad my breathing was! I was as out of breath as he was. I know I have asthma, but holy shitballs!

HOW - I haven't done yoga in a long time because of the exhaustion from Fibromyalgia and CFS/ME (compounded by the hideous insomnia of recent times) but somehow I need to get past that barrier and start doing it again to try to claw back some condition, even if it's only 5 minutes a day. I know for a lot of people with CFS/ME exercise can be dangerous and harmful but I need to give it a shot. Having got to the point where my quality of life is the crappiest it's ever been, I need to make a last ditch attempt. With every new period of worsening health there's always a panic about 'What new thing will this take away from me?!' and that's true now. Things have got so bad I have to see if there's anything I can do to help myself, before I 'give in' to being even more incapacitated than before. Imagine having to breathe through a straw and that's what it's like when your lungs are playing up - everything slows down when there's not enough air getting in. I guess this is my last stand to see if I can do anything to help myself. If I end up in a bloody wheelchair or bedridden I want to know I did everything I could to try to avoid it.

I actually feel quite positive despite this post (ha!) and am sure this year is going to be a cracker. Two of my friends just got engaged, another two are getting married this year, and I'm going to be 40 in April (fat, fabulous and 40, dahhhlings!) I can't wait to see how the rest of the year pans out!

What are you looking forward to this year? Do you have any aims you want to share?

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you were one of the bloggers whose badges I had on my page, I now have a tab under my header called 'Fave blogs'. All the buttons and links are in there. I may put them back in my sidebar at some point - we shall see!

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