Emptying the trash can of my mind

Howdy!

I have some stuff and things I want to say, although I don't know what they are yet. It'll come as I write.

Firstly (I know this part, aha!) I want to do a giveaway or two as I have some things (jewellery, nail polish, scarves etc) I've been buying for it, but I REALLY don't want a non-reader to win. I appreciate the support you give me and want to do something to give thanks for that. I've only ever done one giveaway so far and the person who won commented on my blog for the first and last time when they commented on the giveaway post. They were not an existing reader. I know a lot of people do giveaways as they want to gain more followers, but followers for the sake of followers doesn't interest me one jot. I want readers who sign up to read what I have to say - that's it. With so many professional compers about these days there's a good chance a giveaway open to all will attract more competition hounds than readers and the prize might not go to a person I want to thank, which will defeat the object. 

So, I'm floating the idea of running a kinda secret giveaway for my existing readers, and I have a couple of thoughts about the mechanics of doing this (which I won't share yet but it will involve you doing precisely SOD ALL.) The likely upshot is I will pick winners at random by putting names in a hat or using a random number generator and then ask for your address, at which point I'll say 'Surprise free shit!' It'll be UK only as I want to get things posted before Xmas, although I hope to do another international giveaway at some point in the future. So there's that.

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I also want to talk about valuing yourselves, and I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else here. I'm not sure why it is, but sometimes when you're a bit humble isn't the word....modest, I guess, people see that as weakness and underestimate or devalue you, or you're so insignificant to them you don't even appear on their radar. My mum always likes to talk about a Bible saying about people 'who hide their light under a bushel'. Over the years I've been underestimated sometimes, taken for a soft touch even, in which case I've had to give out a fierce attitude adjustment. As I've grown older (wiser?) I've started to realise that the universe treats you how you treat yourself. Now that was an eye-opener.

Any modesty about myself or my blog is genuine, but this belies the fact that I'm incredibly proud of this blog, and of you. Thus, going forth I'll be doing myself and you a disservice if I continue this 'I'm not worthy!' routine. Now us Brits are the worst at being self assured and confident. The absolute pits. We SUCK at it. We hate braggarts. We usually err on the side of caution/modesty instead of the brash confidence that many nationalities excel at lest we come over as being a bit of a twat. There's a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, and I think us Brits stay on the humble side out of habit rather than being thought of as a giant cunny.

Sooooo, I'm going forth (tentatively) with a new sass. I rock, you most certainly rock, and the interaction we have here fucking rocks like a boulder in a giant fortified centrifuge. That's a lot of rock. So, in this spirit of NOT hiding your lights under bushels, tell me in the comments something that you fucking rock at.

I'll tell you something that rocks - the amount of comments going on on this humble (ha, just testing to see if you're awake) blog compared to the number of readers here. Our readers/comments ratio is higher than a kid on Spring Break. WE ROCK THIS COMMUNICATION THING. We're all over this interaction shiznit like glasses on nerds. We EXCEL at this talking thang.

Go forth and tell me something you EXCEL at. No modesty. Ongoing, I will try to remain confident about this thing we got going on* without being an arrogant prat, if you promise to pull me up when I'm doing my 'I'm not worthy' guff.

Thanks for reading.

*random song insertion, just because.

Things I won't be blogging about before Christmas

Hi flowers.

I wanted to do a post about things I won't be posting about before Christmas, because who in their right mind posts about things they're not going to post about?! I've always been a special snowflake.

Without further ado:

1. I won't be posting about Lush, because approximately 327 people in my blog list do so every day. Have I missed the invite to the cult of Lush? I thought Scientology and Amway were harder to get rid of than shit from a blanket, but Lushites are everywhere. Yes, Lush is indeed bloody lovely, but the way some people talk about it everydamnday it's almost like they want to rub themselves into an orgasmic froth surrounded by endless bottles of Snow Fairy and Glogg.
2. I won't be posting any gift guides because quite frankly if you don't know what to buy your inlaws and boring Gareth from accounts, how the hell am I supposed to? ;)
3. I won't be doing any more Christmas dress posts because I've joined a naturist cult and shall be sporting a sprig of Mistletoe dangling out of my arse and a tinsel merkin on Christmas day.
4. I won't be doing any Christmas make up posts because I sold my nose to pay for Christmas. True story. Latoya Jackson bought it.

I may however do some outfit posts embellished by Christmas trees popping out from under my armpits, a halo of Christmas lights plugged into the mains (no one lick me, you might get a free perm) and baubles for earrings.

What will and won't you be blogging about in the run up to Christmas?

Thanks for reading.

This post has been brought to you by extreme insomnia and my warped sense of humour.

Perspective

Hiya lovelies!

Apologies for this, my second thoughtful post in a row. I promise there are posts less likely to make your brain ache coming soon.

Today I got a slice of well needed perspective and I wanted to share because I had a bit of an epiphany.

I've got PMT, PMS, whatever you want to call it. On top of the depression it's been making me feel really low. Generally my self-esteem is pretty good, but when I'm pre-menstrual I become an insecure mess. I compare myself to other people, which is a sure-fire way to end up miserable quick. When I feel like this, I feel 'less than' compared to other people and it makes me want to withdraw from being on Facebook, Twitter and everywhere else because I feel as if I'm a pain and people are sick of hearing from me. I start to get paranoid, thinking no one likes me, which I know isn't true because I have a loving family and lots of great friends. Even as I'm feeling these things, I know they're stupid, but still I feel them. I'm sharing this because I'm sure lots of people feel like this occasionally but might not publicly acknowledge it as it's a little embarrassing. I don't mind being embarrassed in the pursuit of honesty.

So today I've been going round feeling like crap until I got served up a nice slice of wake the hell up. My mum texted me to tell me the girl who lived opposite us at our old house died in the summer. The girl's mother wrote to my mum. This girl and I were the same age. She'd had a fall down the stairs, soldiered on for a few weeks, then gone to hospital as she was feeling so ill. She died of a blood clot on the lung 4 days later. To make matter even worse, this poor lady's only other child needs a kidney transplant. How terrible. How cruel.

Immediately I thought 'This is proof (if we need any) that you have to live your life to the fullest as you never know when your days on this earth are done.' Then I thought 'I wish I didn't need to draw perspective from someone else's heartache.'

BINGO!

Perhaps happiness is not the right word I'm looking for. Contentment? Satisfaction? Gratitude?

Wouldn't it be great if we didn't need to be reminded by horrific events that we are lucky to be here, lucky to be alive, just damn bloody lucky?

I am saying I'm taking this bit of perspective to heart and will try in future to be thankful for the good things in my life. I'll try not to focus on this few days a month where I feel like hiding out in the darkest depths of the Mariana trench and instead remember all the good that is around me. This Christmas, as I spend time with my family and friends, I will be thinking of that family, hoping against hope that a kidney is found for the daughter and that somehow they can heal their hearts after this awful loss. I feel ashamed I had to think of their hurt to realise how blessed I am. I hope in future I can look for my own blessings without needing to be reminded of the suffering of others.

I share all of this because if this finds a home in one of you, dear readers, it will have been worth it.

Hugs to anyone out there feeling 'less than' right now.

x x x