Things I won't be blogging about before Christmas

Hi flowers.

I wanted to do a post about things I won't be posting about before Christmas, because who in their right mind posts about things they're not going to post about?! I've always been a special snowflake.

Without further ado:

  1. I won't be posting about Lush, because approximately 327 people in my blog list do so every day. Have I missed the invite to the cult of Lush? I thought Scientology and Amway were harder to get rid of than shit from a blanket, but Lushites are everywhere. Yes, Lush is indeed bloody lovely, but the way some people talk about it everydamnday it's almost like they want to rub themselves into an orgasmic froth surrounded by endless bottles of Snow Fairy and Glogg.
  2. I won't be posting any gift guides because quite frankly if you don't know what to buy your inlaws and boring Gareth from accounts, how the hell am I supposed to? ;)
  3. I won't be doing any more Christmas dress posts because I've joined a naturist cult and shall be sporting a sprig of Mistletoe dangling out of my arse and a tinsel merkin on Christmas day.
  4. I won't be doing any Christmas make up posts because I sold my nose to pay for Christmas. True story. Latoya Jackson bought it.

I may however do some outfit posts embellished by Christmas trees popping out from under my armpits, a halo of Christmas lights plugged into the mains (no one lick me, you might get a free perm) and baubles for earrings.

What will and won't you be blogging about in the run up to Christmas?

Thanks for reading.

This post has been brought to you by extreme insomnia and my warped sense of humour.