Guest post | Sister

Hello loves,

Today I have a guest post from an anonymous contributor which I think others could identify with, as well as giving well needed catharsis for the person involved.

Sister

Dear Sister,

I do not know why or can pinpoint an exact time when things went quite so wrong for us. 

My big sister, you used to look after and play with me; I was like a little doll that you used to push on the swing and tickle.   My love of makeup started with you painting my face.  I looked up to you and adored you.

Our great sister relationship continued into my mid teens and then out of nowhere it seemed, there was a shift.  On the surface, everything to an outsider would appear the same, but our relationship had gone.  More than that, you now seemed to resent me. 

Going through my teenage years I never understood why you would make a point of highlighting my faults and misdeeds to mom.  I was a good teenager as it goes and never got into any trouble, yet you seemed determined to pick fault with everything I did and try to put me in a bad light.  You found a way to undermine any achievement I had; you seemed to find pleasure in doing so.

When I would discuss a problem I had, looking for sisterly advice, you would sympathise and advise to my face, but then store my words up to be twisted and used against me later.  It was a good while before I cottoned on to this, because I did not want it to be true. 

I wanted nothing more than a happy relationship with you, like the one we once had, but you just were no longer interested.  You were happy to be sisters, but in a no contact, no interaction kind of way.  I thought it might change when we got older.

Well big sister, we are older now.  I thought that being in our 30s might change things but it is worse now than it has ever been.  I have never been out for a drink or a meal with you or indeed done anything with you that was not a family event.    

You still love looking for fault in me.  You continue to catalogue my words, list my faults and then tick them off to our mother like a stored up shopping list in what I now see is an attempt of "like her less, like me more".  It is childish.  If you resent my good relationship with our mum, would it not be better to fix your own instead of this endless assault against me?

It would be one thing if you had just decided not to have a relationship with me, but to maintain a constant war against me is something I cannot fathom.  

I have to watch what I say on social media as you have been known to save my words, to be used out of context and meaning weeks and even months later.   I cannot write anything on my blog because that is a previously used source of yours to pick apart and use against me as a weapon. 

So why I am writing these words now?  Because enough is enough.  I have never wanted anything more than I wanted a normal sister relationship with you, but now I see that this is never going to happen.  I can no longer forgive or brush aside the hurt you have caused me over the years. 

The fa├žade is over.  Outwardly it will look like nothing has changed and no doubt you will continue to run your war against me, but something has changed.  I am tired of trying to be good enough for you.  I will never be it seems.  What I choose to do now is no longer care, about your actions, or about you.  We are done.
 

Well, I'm sure you'll agree that was an emotional read. Thank God you can choose your friends! I wish the writer closure, and hugs to anyone else out there going through crap at the hands of people who are supposed to love you.

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

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