My manifesto on fatness, vanity and ageing

Hello lovelies,

The other day on Instagram I was full of beans and kind of gave out my manifesto on fatness, vanity and ageing and I think it's worth repeating and expanding upon here for those of you who don't follow me on Instagram (why ever not?!)

I wanted to clear up the whole 'People who post selfies are up their own arse' business. I expect a lot of people DO think I'm full of myself but for me makeup and music are the only things getting me through the winter blues. If I look in the mirror and look like a dog's dinner I feel down all day, but if I do my hair and makeup and feel I look good, it does a lot for my self esteem and thus impacts on my mental health and I'm never going to be apologetic for that.

Cue selfie time!

SO FIT!

The world might expect me to be afraid to be vain, to hate myself as a lot of people hate fat people. But I say bollocks to that. Everyone is entitled to love themselves no matter what they look like and I highly recommend it. You get one life (unless you believe in reincarnation, ha!) and you can spend it being happy with your lot or you can spend it miserable. This doesn't mean you shouldn't try to change your body if you're unhappy, but doing things with self love in mind is healthier as you'll be kind to yourself in transition. As long as you love others more than you love yourself you're a perfectly well adjusted human being. Pat yourself on the back for being awesome and revel in your own beauty, even if it's only for 5 minutes a day.  'Look good feel good' is SO important for my mental health. I call it meditation in front of a mirror. I ask myself 'Who do I want to be today?' and the answer is anyone I bloody well like. 

Desire is so important to the human spirit. A woman opens up like a flower in bloom when she knows she's wanted, and as much as it's nice to have someone who fancies the arse off you, it's also really important to maintain self care so YOU find you attractive. When I feel really good about myself my sex drive goes through the roof. For me to feel smokin' hot it doesn't take a lot - some make up, my favourite perfume, sexy underwear, some kick arse music and I'm on cloud 9. Whatever makes you feel good is worth doing so you feel good about yourself - and that's as individual as you are. 

And while I'm up on my soapbox I want to talk about society's attitude to ageing women. We are shamed constantly if we show any hint of personality after the age of 40. There are loads of newspaper and magazine articles taking the piss out of women who dare to age. (Wrinkly knees seems to be the obsession of the Daily Mail. Do eff off!) Society expects us to either shrivel up and die or starve ourselves to the nth degree and shove more bits of plastic into our bodies than a Lego factory. So here's what I think to that. Let your hair go grey or don't, it's your bloody head. Do what you want to do with your body to nourish it and exercise it as best you can depending on your circumstances. If you want to wear clothes considered by many to be 'too young' do it and give the middle finger to anyone who doesn't like it. Wear as much or as little makeup as you want. Don't buy into that bullshit about all older women having to have short hair. What the eff? Where did that even come from?! Have hair down to your arse if it makes you happy. Wear all the colours. Reject a beige life and all these bullshit 'rules' designed to make ageing women disappear from view. 

I'm 40 and I'm not going into my grave beige and boring. I'm going kicking and screaming with my middle finger held aloft. Stuff caring what anyone else thinks. Be you, hold your head up high and refuse to diminish yourselves as you age. If you examine these rules, they all go to strengthen the position of men - but women pay the price. A system where we belittle one group to strengthen another stuffs us all up. This is why I'm a feminist! 

Men are allowed to go grey and wrinkly without being shamed for looking tired and worn out. They are called distinguished. Men are allowed to put on a little weight in their autumn years without a media frenzy about how they've 'let themselves go' - or at least when compared to the amount of women this happens to. Women get mocked if we look too old and we get doubly mocked if we bow to the pressure and try to look too young. Stuffed if you do, stuffed if you don't. Reject it all. Do what makes you happy, don't judge other women by these bullshit sexist rules and whatever you do don't diminish yourself in any way whatsoever as you age just because you're expected to. 

What do you think about the way women are treated as we age? What's your opinion on vanity?

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

A FOTD & how I take my DSLR selfies

Hello earthlings!

I was looking back through last month's make up photos when I realised I hadn't posted these photos of a look I did with the Urban Decay Naked 3 palette. I can't remember exactly what I used on my eyes. I *think* I'm using Liar over the main part of my lid, Buzz on my lower eyelid and Darkside in the outer corners and blended out.

Brows - Fashionista
Eyes - Urban Decay Naked 3 palette
Liquid eyeliner - VIVO Plum
Mascara - Soap & Glory Thick & Fast
Foundation - Fashionista Luminous foundation in Nude - this foundation is amazing and is £3!
Contour/blusher - Dainty Doll Money Talks blusher - old product, might turn up in discount stores
Lippie - MUA Luxe lip velvet in Criminal

You can see the green in my eyes in this one

Necklace, Black Heart Creatives
Hat, Primark (old.)

I take my make up selfies with flash 90% of the time because we lack complexion-flattering sunlight in the UK for most of the year. I have quite rosy cheeks and I like the lightening effect that using flash close up gives. That's why they use a shitfucktonne of bright lights on professional photography shoots. It's all about the light, daaaahlink! It masks minor imperfections and gives skin a bit of 'oomph' that it might otherwise lack in the dismal grey light we get here most of the time. Flash can wash out the intensity of my make up sometimes, but I'm a vain bitch so I'll take that over looking ragged (and I usually slap on extra make up to account for that.) I usually use the AV setting on my camera (aperture value) and set it to a low aperture like 4.5 so anything in the background is very blurry and my face is the main focus. Vain fo lyfe! Of course, on a sunny day I'll be searching out the real stuff, but we don't get too much of that. ;)

Do you use flash or natural light for your make up selfies?

Thanks for reading.

My life in profile photos

Hi all!

I saw a post over at Miss Budget Beauty where she posted a whole bunch of her Facebook profile pictures and just had to join in. I've been on Facebook for about 7 years (I think) and in that time have had hundreds of profile photos, so here are a selection.

Feel free to do a post like this and leave me a link in the comments. I'd love to see!

Thanks for peeking.

Fat bitch #5 I'm so vain!

Hello flowers,

I'm a little bit behind on the assignments for the Fat Bitch ecourse run by the fabulous Rachele from The Nearsighted Owl.

#5 is about vanity, glorious sweet vanity.

I am so vain. I love myself - most of the time. Of course I have my days like everyone else, but mainly I'm happy with my lot. On to the assignment:

Be vain and take a photo of yourself. Take a million of photos of yourself! Even if you don't post them, see what it feels like to be your own apple of your eye. Say, look at me! I am a fat bitch AND hot! Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc.

I was going to lounge around the house taking a bunch of photos of myself for this assignment, but I had an awesome Easter weekend out with my friends, and I thought I looked bangin', so have a load of this:

Cheesin' in the car on the way

Me & Percy the giant penis

Pinching my friend's hat for a while

I love this one - look at my cheekbones!

I prefer sincere compliments over too many compliments, probably because duh, I am vain and I am hearing what I already know. What about you? Can you take a compliment? Or do you catch yourself saying the obligatory self-deprecating response?

When I was younger, I used to be THE worst person at accepting comments. I think it was part nurture and part nature. I grew up dirt poor in a very rough n' tough place about 20 miles away from London and since moving away I've definitely noticed life away from big cities is a little gentler, and so are some of the people in it, including me ;) I was very guarded as a survival instinct, but gradually I stopped being so defensive, perhaps when I moved away. Now I try to be mindful to accept compliments when they come, but I'm very humble and sometimes bat them away without thinking, but I try not to. I think it depends how I feel at the time as well. If I feel fantastic I'm much more likely to agree with a positive comment.

On the subject of vanity, I think a certain amount of it is healthy. I know if I feel craptacular all I have to do to cheer myself up is put on some make up, dress up and take a ton of photos. So I'd go as far to say that vanity is a part of self care. 

Vanity

Hi lovelies!

Here's something I wrote on Tumblr a while ago. I thought I'd share it here too.

I’ve been thinking a lot about vanity, and specifically if vanity can exist without narcissism, or within an acceptable level of narcissism. I think so.

I believe in vanity as self-care and as a part of self-love. I think glorifying yourself to a certain extent is a great thing. For me, as a person with depression, it’s important for me to remind myself that I look good sometimes, and I take pleasure from it. My way of reinforcing that is to make myself up and take a tonne of photos. Those photos exist in stark contrast to the woman I see in the mirror - often washed out, sad, sometimes anaemic, listless. They exist to say ‘THIS is you, not the woman in the mirror.’ I think I probably need to feel ‘cheered up’ by looking good a lot more now than I did when I was well. It’s literally one of the only things keeping me sane.

Because I’m British, because we’re so good at being humble, I used to feel guilty for posting a lot of photos of myself in case people thought I was ‘up’ myself or self-obsessed. Now I don’t give a monkey's. I won’t apologise for doing something which helps me to feel a little more human. We all have our struggles. We all nurse the pain somehow, be it drugs, booze, food, sex, etc. In my case I pile on make up and pull faces in front of a camera.

When you see my face, know it’s therapy for me. I’m probably having a really shit day and need to make myself feel better. I don’t actually need validation from anyone else, although likes and comments are always appreciated. Just having a representation of me out there where I look like me but better is enough for me.

Be vain. Glorify yourself. Who cares what everyone else thinks. We’re only on this blue and green blob once.

Are you vain? Good for you if you are! Vain=good.

Thanks for reading.

In absense of proper posts, here's my face

Here are some photos of my face taken last week sometime.

Have a great week!