Hi lovelies!

Here's something I wrote on Tumblr a while ago. I thought I'd share it here too.

I’ve been thinking a lot about vanity, and specifically if vanity can exist without narcissism, or within an acceptable level of narcissism. I think so.

I believe in vanity as self-care and as a part of self-love. I think glorifying yourself to a certain extent is a great thing. For me, as a person with depression, it’s important for me to remind myself that I look good sometimes, and I take pleasure from it. My way of reinforcing that is to make myself up and take a tonne of photos. Those photos exist in stark contrast to the woman I see in the mirror - often washed out, sad, sometimes anaemic, listless. They exist to say ‘THIS is you, not the woman in the mirror.’ I think I probably need to feel ‘cheered up’ by looking good a lot more now than I did when I was well. It’s literally one of the only things keeping me sane.

Because I’m British, because we’re so good at being humble, I used to feel guilty for posting a lot of photos of myself in case people thought I was ‘up’ myself or self-obsessed. Now I don’t give a monkey's. I won’t apologise for doing something which helps me to feel a little more human. We all have our struggles. We all nurse the pain somehow, be it drugs, booze, food, sex, etc. In my case I pile on make up and pull faces in front of a camera.

When you see my face, know it’s therapy for me. I’m probably having a really shit day and need to make myself feel better. I don’t actually need validation from anyone else, although likes and comments are always appreciated. Just having a representation of me out there where I look like me but better is enough for me.

Be vain. Glorify yourself. Who cares what everyone else thinks. We’re only on this blue and green blob once.

Are you vain? Good for you if you are! Vain=good.

Thanks for reading.