My manifesto on fatness, vanity and ageing

Hello lovelies,

The other day on Instagram I was full of beans and kind of gave out my manifesto on fatness, vanity and ageing and I think it's worth repeating and expanding upon here for those of you who don't follow me on Instagram (why ever not?!)

I wanted to clear up the whole 'People who post selfies are up their own arse' business. I expect a lot of people DO think I'm full of myself but for me makeup and music are the only things getting me through the winter blues. If I look in the mirror and look like a dog's dinner I feel down all day, but if I do my hair and makeup and feel I look good, it does a lot for my self esteem and thus impacts on my mental health and I'm never going to be apologetic for that.

Cue selfie time!


The world might expect me to be afraid to be vain, to hate myself as a lot of people hate fat people. But I say bollocks to that. Everyone is entitled to love themselves no matter what they look like and I highly recommend it. You get one life (unless you believe in reincarnation, ha!) and you can spend it being happy with your lot or you can spend it miserable. This doesn't mean you shouldn't try to change your body if you're unhappy, but doing things with self love in mind is healthier as you'll be kind to yourself in transition. As long as you love others more than you love yourself you're a perfectly well adjusted human being. Pat yourself on the back for being awesome and revel in your own beauty, even if it's only for 5 minutes a day.  'Look good feel good' is SO important for my mental health. I call it meditation in front of a mirror. I ask myself 'Who do I want to be today?' and the answer is anyone I bloody well like. 

Desire is so important to the human spirit. A woman opens up like a flower in bloom when she knows she's wanted, and as much as it's nice to have someone who fancies the arse off you, it's also really important to maintain self care so YOU find you attractive. When I feel really good about myself my sex drive goes through the roof. For me to feel smokin' hot it doesn't take a lot - some make up, my favourite perfume, sexy underwear, some kick arse music and I'm on cloud 9. Whatever makes you feel good is worth doing so you feel good about yourself - and that's as individual as you are. 

And while I'm up on my soapbox I want to talk about society's attitude to ageing women. We are shamed constantly if we show any hint of personality after the age of 40. There are loads of newspaper and magazine articles taking the piss out of women who dare to age. (Wrinkly knees seems to be the obsession of the Daily Mail. Do eff off!) Society expects us to either shrivel up and die or starve ourselves to the nth degree and shove more bits of plastic into our bodies than a Lego factory. So here's what I think to that. Let your hair go grey or don't, it's your bloody head. Do what you want to do with your body to nourish it and exercise it as best you can depending on your circumstances. If you want to wear clothes considered by many to be 'too young' do it and give the middle finger to anyone who doesn't like it. Wear as much or as little makeup as you want. Don't buy into that bullshit about all older women having to have short hair. What the eff? Where did that even come from?! Have hair down to your arse if it makes you happy. Wear all the colours. Reject a beige life and all these bullshit 'rules' designed to make ageing women disappear from view. 

I'm 40 and I'm not going into my grave beige and boring. I'm going kicking and screaming with my middle finger held aloft. Stuff caring what anyone else thinks. Be you, hold your head up high and refuse to diminish yourselves as you age. If you examine these rules, they all go to strengthen the position of men - but women pay the price. A system where we belittle one group to strengthen another stuffs us all up. This is why I'm a feminist! 

Men are allowed to go grey and wrinkly without being shamed for looking tired and worn out. They are called distinguished. Men are allowed to put on a little weight in their autumn years without a media frenzy about how they've 'let themselves go' - or at least when compared to the amount of women this happens to. Women get mocked if we look too old and we get doubly mocked if we bow to the pressure and try to look too young. Stuffed if you do, stuffed if you don't. Reject it all. Do what makes you happy, don't judge other women by these bullshit sexist rules and whatever you do don't diminish yourself in any way whatsoever as you age just because you're expected to. 

What do you think about the way women are treated as we age? What's your opinion on vanity?

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

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