Wardrobe Essentials to Keep You Snug as a Bug This Winter*

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Winter is here, and things are only set to get colder as the year goes on. So, it’s time to put away your shorts and tees and start opting for layers of cosier clothes. After all, fashion now has to be aesthetically pleasing and practical at the same time. If you ignore this, you could end up finding yourself shivering and questioning why you didn’t put more thought into your outfit choice. Here are a few essentials to stock your wardrobe up with to keep you snug as a bug over the coming months.

Coats

First things first, you’re going to need to invest in one or two trusty winter coats. Remember that there’s a big difference between a coat and jacket. The first will maintain a lot more heat and
ensure you’re a whole lot more comfortable out in the elements. Opt for insulating materials and fabrics such as wool. This is a firm winter favourite, as it keeps your body heat in and can withstand windy elements. If you find that there tends to be a lot of rain, frost and snow in your region, you will want to ensure that you have a waterproof alternative too. Windbreakers are particularly great and are the latest big hit in streetwear this season. So consider outdoorsy brands such as North Face. A hood is always a great feature, and black colours draw as much heat as possible from your environment.

Scarves and gloves

It’s time to accessorise! When it comes to women’s accessories to keep you warm this winter, scarves and gloves have to top the list. For milder days, consider silk scarves. This will protect your neck and lower face from sharp, biting winds, but won’t cause you to overheat. For colder and harsher days, opt for chunky wool knits or thick, soft cashmere. Now for your hands. You need a reliable pair of gloves to avoid numb fingers. Often you will be able to find a pair to perfectly match your chosen scarf. Alternatively, you might like to try out some faux leather gloves for a more sophisticated look.

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Hats

Most of your body heat is lost from your head. So wear a hat! Many people are hesitant when it comes to wearing hats. They worry that they can’t find a style that suits them. But there are so many varieties available that there’s bound to be something out there that’s perfect for your aesthetic. Berets offer timeless chic, bobble hats are cute and cosy, and flat caps can be the perfect addition to any country style outfit.

Umbrellas

Okay, you don’t wear this one, but it can definitely help you to get from A to B without arriving dripping wet. An umbrella is an absolute essential in the winter seasons. So why not have a little
fun with it. Of course, a plain black umbrella will be simple and match any outfit, but there are so many fun designs out there that you can’t help but dabble! Consider love heart shaped umbrellas, quirky prints and designer labels. If you ensure that you have all of these things tucked away in your wardrobe, you’re bound to have a much warmer, cosier and drier time in the coming months!

*collaborative post

September photo diary part 2

Hello lovelies.

Because I'm not feeling like blogging properly (and I don't have any money for clothes) I'm not writing here much at all, so here's a photo diary of September. The first part can be found here.

I've been very lucky and thoroughly spoilt by my friends and social media followers. I've been gifted several care packages with everything from chocolates to notepads to Himalayan salt tea light holders to lipsticks and a velvet kimono. This is Pugsley, a present from my friend Rosie.

I've only been wearing old things as I don't have a lot of money now but at some point I'll start doing outfit posts again, even if they're only charity shop clothes.

 My friend Izz and I. Where would I be without my friends?!

 I saw this sign in Herne Bay and it gave me a well needed laugh.

At Seasalter with my family.

Taking outfit photos in a McDonald's car park. Classy! ;)

My favourite new hang out, Bar Elba in London's Waterloo. It's a great rooftop bar which serves up amazing cocktails and burgers.

 Yum!

Bacon cheeseburger.

I hope everyone reading is doing well.

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

At This Moment #7 - What I'm reading, watching and doing

Hello lovebugs! I missed this post last month but I'm back again with the latest installment of what I'm up to!

WATCHING

I'm loving Star Trek Discovery on Netflix. I'm a proud Trekkie! I'm also loving S2 of Designated Survivor.

READING

I'm reading South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami. It was a recommendation from a guy I went on a date with. The guy didn't last but the book has. 😄 I can't read much right now as I'm too hyper and I can't concentrate, but I look forward to being a bookworm again.

MAKING

Plans for my future! The future is wide open but I've got to shape it. I want my own place and I want to study psychology to the highest level. I want to be a counsellor so I can help others through  relationship breakdowns with damaging individuals. I'd do anything I could to help others going through what I'm going through right now.

STARTING

I need to start saving for a deposit on my own place as I need my independence. I'm also starting to think moving back to Kent was a good thing and this is where I'll stay. I'm also starting to date again. It feels good.

FINISHING

My grieving for that man is done. It was quite a few weeks ago. That was helped by the cruelty of his discard - every cloud has a silver lining! 😁😁😁😁😁😁

ENJOYING

Freedom! Less anxiety about using public transport - since I've been single I've been HAVING to use it and I'm gadding about here and there on trains all the time with no anxiety at all now. 

LISTENING
(This section used to be TEXTING but music is far more interesting than texting!)

I LOVE this song. When I found out who it was by I was ashamed of myself, but I can't help but adore this song so much, especially the final 90 seconds or so. I sing along loud and often!



LOVING

I'm really into Sia at the moment too. She's bipolar and I identify so much with her lyrics. Music in general is helping me so much.

HATING

Bipolar! Having bipolar and being a bi-polar-bear 🐻 are so hard. It affects everything from how many typos I make when I write (a lot, my thoughts race so much I can't spell or do grammar, and I was educated at a grammar school, FFS!) to the way I walk (seriously, bipolar mania makes you hypersexual and I walk like a panther on the prowl!) Everything is different. Even my handwriting is different when I'm manic. But it's the ups and downs, the feeling on top of the world then doubting everything which is the most painful. Well, that and all the people rushing out of my life now I have bipolar. The stigma IS HUGE. People have no idea what bipolar actually IS.

It's a mood disorder which means you go through Mount Everest level highs and Mariana Trench lows. It's not 'madness' per se, you just feel everything so deeply. But people are SO scared of it (and me) and I've been losing support left and right. It feels shit. Bipolar is shit. It affects everything - how much I eat and sleep and how energetic I am. So I need support.......and I'm so thankful to the people I still have in my corner.

What's new with you?

You can read previous posts here.
One Two Three
Four Five Six

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

September photo diary part 1

Since my break up and bipolar mania starting in mid September I've found it really hard to put fingers to keyboard, so I've decided to do photo diaries of Sept and Oct. They'll be photo heavy, do be warned. Expect outfits, selfies and more. I'll also be doing a separate photo diary of the Curve Fashion Festival, which I went to in early September.

Jacket and necklace past New Look Curves, dress past Boohoo, leggings, Skechers (similar), bag past eBay, leggings (similar)

I was gifted these workout leggings by State of Mind Active at the Curve Fashion Festival. They're great - moisture wicking and such a smooth fabric that it makes my chunky legs swish past each other effortlessly for better exercise. Normally when I go on a walk I arrive back home soaked in sweat and have to shower off immediately but I was kept cool and dry in these capris. I'm assured by a friend who has had SOMA clothes for a long time they wash and wear incredibly well and stay looking new for years. High performance workout capris. I need to reshoot these pics as the light was failing and the photo quality is awful. Keep your eyes peeled for a more in depth post.These photos were taken on a walk 2 days before James dumped me and I had NO IDEA it was coming.

Faking a smile the next day after the dump-age(with Mookie).

Three days post-dumping, out of the marital home and refusing to sink.

The kindness of friends.

Remembering what it's like to laugh again while in the pub with Mum and Mookie 5 days post dumping.

I've always been about that double chin life. Me aged 3 weeks - this photo is in my mum's bedroom.

A lovely walk on a sunny day with my family. I passed this flint statue and loved it. Shame idiots had to scrawl on it though.

Standing next to a big prick. 😜😜😜😜

I'll leave it there for now.

I hope you're all well. I'm struggling with bipolar, really struggling. It's going to be a bit of a quest to get me on the right meds and I don't think I'm there yet. It hasn't even been a month I've been on them yet so I know it's early days, but I'm really struggling to feel like me. Big hugs to all my fellow MH family and anyone else struggling for whatever reason.

I'm also really struggling to deal with the fall out of the break up, the PTSD like symptoms I have every time I have to see or interact with James. I'm really really not in a good place right now, but I'm putting one foot in front of the other each day.

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

My very quick journey to bipolar disorder diagnosis

Hello lovelies,

I've wanted to put fingers to keyboard many times over the last 5 and a bit weeks since James dumped me, but I haven't been able to find the will. But I've been writing on Instagram most days, and here's something I've brought over from there and expanded upon in case it helps others - how I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder so quickly. I began exhibiting symptoms of extreme mania the day after James brought home his shitty Dear John letter.

Pic made with Wordswag/Pixabay free images

I believe what helped me get to such a quick diagnosis with bipolar is a video I took in desperation on my most manic day. I went through hysterical laughter, tears, anger and heartbreak in the space of 2 minutes of video. It must've been terrifying for people to watch (I uploaded it to social media as I was so desperate for people to believe me) and it was certainly terrifying living through it.

When it comes to diagnoses you can try to explain how you feel, you can take notes of your symptoms, you can note down other people's impressions of you, (especially if you're losing your grasp on reality or disassociating) but having a video of yourself in a very manic or very depressed mood is even better. I showed my GP and my psychiatrist the video I'd taken round my cousin's flat on the day I REALLY lost my grasp on reality. I'd been to a walk in centre that day and the doctor seemed to think I was just a neurotic woman going through a break up and was otherwise fine. I felt so let down by that GP and I wanted proof things were really bad. Also I was disassociating so badly by then that I needed to look at myself in photos or video to know I was still real. I wasn't sure I existed any more. My cousin had to patiently explain the day's reality to me as I was so out of it.

That terrible day I'd had a little dance with a 90 year old man in a packed Wetherspoons pub in the middle of the lunchtime rush, and got so loud and sweary over lunch that strangers looked scared of me. I didn't miss James at all and was joking I'd been "drowning in cock" one minute, then 2 minutes later I'd be in racking tears of heartbreak, quickly followed by hysterical laughter I couldn't stop. Loud noises made me want to punch people, my eyeballs were rattling around in my head, I hadn't been sleeping, I was shaking so much I couldn't pass people money, I was sweating uncontrollably and my heart physically hurt. I was in an awful state. The doctor I saw at the walk in centre did give me some Diazepam, which at least helped me to sleep, because I'd only been having 1-2 hours a night. This was less than a week after James ended things.

As soon as I had my kinda fruitless experience at the walk in centre I called my own GP and went in a few days later, showed him the video and all the symptoms I'd written down. He could see I was a mess anyway - I was shaking uncontrollably, sweating heavily and my resting heartbeat was galloping along at twice the speed it should've been. He gave me beta blockers to stop my heart exploding (lol) and sedative antihistamines to help me sleep. Less than 2 weeks after that I had my psych evaluation, which took about 90 minutes and was incredibly in depth. I was asked about my sexual history, childhood, jobs, parents, health and so much more. At the end of it I was diagnosed with Bipolar II.

Doing the video definitely helped my speedy diagnosis. So my advice would be video yourself (no matter how painful it is to do when you're manic or very depressed), list all your symptoms as best you can, and ask your loved ones to describe how you've been acting if you've been disassociating or losing your grasp on reality.

But most of all, trust your intuition. If you KNOW things are out of control for you, don't give up until you get help. I know mental health services vary in different countries. I know they vary in different areas of the UK. Some doctors are effing useless when it comes to mental health. Persist if you can and lean on your loved ones while you're undiagnosed. Believe in yourself and your ability to know what's right and wrong in your own body and mind. You know yourself better than anyone else.


I've been medicated for 2 weeks now and I won't lie, some days are hell. I'm only getting 5 hours sleep a day at most. I wake up at 5am every day without fail. I still disassociate sometimes. I shake, I sweat, my heart races. I've gone down a dress size so quickly my hair thinned. I've been throwing up or heaving almost every day for 5 weeks. Today was the first time I could bear to eat my 5 a day. I'm missing meals and when I do eat I'm eating 1/3 of what I used to. Some days I'm high as a kite and other days I'm as low as a sausage dog's knackers. There's no predicting it. It's HARD and there's no guarantee the anti psychotic tablets I'm on are the right ones for me. It's going to be a process to start feeling better.

In my next post I'll talk about how I had undiagnosed bipolar for many years. Big hugs to my mental health fam and all suffering souls out there.


If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo

At This Moment #6 - what I'm reading, watching & doing

Hello lovelies, it's time to see what I've been loving for the last month or so. 

WATCHING

Not a lot! I've run out of things. Game of Thrones has finished, Power has finished - I'm at a loose end. I'm still watching the second series of Shooter, with Ryan Phillippe, but I need more things to watch. Here's the series 1 trailer in case you're interested.



I've also recently watched The Story of Diana, on Netflix, about (of course) the late Princess of Wales. It followed her from childhood up until her tragic death. I need some recommendations for shows on Netflix please. I especially love subtitled shows (they force me to concentrate), Scandi dramas, crime dramas etc.

READING

In the last couple of weeks I've read two Khaled Hosseini books - The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns. I loved them both, they're phenomenal books and I'm a fan for life. I've also started reading Jes Baker's Things No One Tells Fat Girls, which is also great. I read a chapter before bed every few nights so I go to sleep with good thoughts in my head. Right now I'm reading a Dennis Lehane book - The Given Day, which is set around WWII and follows the lives of two families - one white and one black. It's a long book (an opus like the bloody Bible!) but it's captivating. Beware if you read it - it has a lot of racial epithets in it.

MAKING

Umm, as usual I'm making money disappear from my bank account. Last weekend's Curve Fashion Festival was a wonderful event (blog post to come!) but it was an expensive outing. I've also been buying things to help me go on walks in crappy English A/W weather - a waxed jacket to go with the walking boots I mentioned in my last At This Moment post. These bad boys are half price at £29.99 here. They're really padded around the ankle which is great for hypermobile people like me with super-bendy ankles.

This wax rain coat from ASOS is out of stock at the moment. I hope it comes back - it's already sold out twice so they're onto a winner.

STARTING

I'm starting to look forward to Autumn, even though S.A.D. makes my life a misery for 5 months of the year. This year I'm determined to go walking in all weathers, hence the wax jacket and the walking boots. I'm going to try to exercise my way out of the fog the dark months bring. I'm really looking forward to leafy walks in the park, warm A/W colours like mustard and burgundy and green, hot chocolate, Halloween and Bonfire Night! And dare I say it, I'm looking forward not to being sweaty all the time. 😆😆😆😆

FINISHING

Well, it's been another busy month. We've had three family visits in the last 5 weeks and James and I are a little bit frayed around the edges. We've had a really busy summer - we've been to Manchester, Weymouth and Bath, and I've been to Liverpool. We have some friends coming to stay in about 10 days (which we're looking forward to immensely) but after that I think we'll shut down the 'hotel' and have some time just for ourselves. God knows we need to save some money for Christmas anyway, so laying off social events for a while sounds like a plan.

ENJOYING

Being me! Going to the Curve Fashion Festival in Liverpool last weekend and being surrounded by so many vibrant, beautiful fat women has made me even more focused on living my best possible life, and that means giving no fucks! I just want to be a fat mermaid/unicorn and smother myself in glitter, so I shall. People are going to stare anyway as I'm fat, so let's give them a show!

LISTENING
(This section used to be TEXTING but music is far more interesting than texting!)

When I was in the car with Mookie and her husband Mike on the way up to Liverpool they introduced me to a band called The Cardiacs, and I fell in love with this song. It doesn't get going till halfway through, but wait till that guitar solo kicks in! I love it.



LOVING

Wearing glitter as makeup. Why use highlighter when you can highlight with glitter?!

Gratuitous glitter shot. I've had it in all day (I did it myself) but this was the first time I've found good light to show it off. #makeupover40 #glitter #alternativecurves #altgirl

A post shared by Leah - Love Leah (@loveleahblog) on Sep 9, 2017 at 7:04am PDT

HATING

All these weather events all over the world. It's so scary! It feels like the world is going to hell in a hand cart. There have been lots of wild fires on the US west coast, hurricanes on the east coast, landslides in Sierra Leone and other places, an earthquake in Mexico. People who deny global warming are bananas. It's so awful how many people are being displaced.

What's new with you?!

Thanks for reading. Leah xoxo

In The Style Curve Alexiss red floral bardot dress

Hello babes! I've got a belter of a dress to show you from In The Style Curve today - the Alexiss, which has a saucy thigh split. This rusty shade of red is such a good colour for me. Read on for lots more pics and my review.

The People Keeping Slots Popular Might Surprise You*

Keeping an eye on modern gaming trends, it’s easy to understand what makes most of the popular genres great. Strategy, MMO, and RPG games have thrived with newer pay models that incentivize constant competition and advancement. Shooters and adventure games are more appealing with each new upgrade in graphics and system capabilities. And puzzle games and educational gaming experiences have done well on mobile games simply because they work well with simpler controls and limited scopes.



One popular genre is a little bit harder to explain, however: casino slots. According to a statistical report from 2016, this is the fifth most popular genre of mobile gaming, with about 9.8 million unique monthly users, and about 6 hours of playing time per month, per user! That’s a very high level of popularity, and may explain why this generally old-fashioned form of gaming doesn’t ever seem to be going away. Pull up your mobile app stores and scroll through games and you’ll likely find all kinds of different slots.



This also explains why the games you find aren’t simply old, classic slots, but rather newer games that are various in theme and appeal. Developers working in this genre appear to be busy constantly, either adapting online games for Android and iOS use, or simply building up new experiences based on new themes. The result is that your average modern slot reel isn’t just a fruit machine or something similar. It might instead involve fun animated characters, or even superheroes or other icons from popular fiction.



What may still be unclear though is where the demand is for these kinds of games. With the exception of new themes and designs, they’re basically the same games they always were, and maintain a sort of old-school flavor. Perhaps it won’t come as a surprise then to tell you that it is mostly people over 50, and primarily women, who make up the consumer market for slots. This was determined by a 2012 study, which specifically pointed to female homeowners aged 55-60, with college education and an average household income over $55,000. That more or less translates to middle-aged, middle class women.



We’ve also learned from more recent studies that women are making up a larger percentage of gamers in general. Apparently 41 percent of gamers are women, and the average female gamer is 44. So if we consider the two studies together, it actually becomes pretty easy to say that it’s primarily middle-aged and older women who are driving the seemingly relentless popularity of slot machines.



As for why women, it’s difficult to say exactly. Studies have generally indicated that slot gamers expect to lose money, however, and are doing it for the experience, or simply to pass the time. By contrast many who play other casino games like poker and blackjack feel that they have more say over the outcome, and may expect to win. It’s conceivable that women simply approach casino gaming from less of a competitive standpoint than men do (or they’re just smarter about it!).



So the next time one of the seniors in your life, or simply a middle-aged female friend of yours boots up a phone or tablet and starts spinning slot reels, don’t be surprised. It’s just as popular and appealing to those demographics as some of the newer and flashier games are to young people.

 *Guest post