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I read an article today about a woman who was shamed for buying her wedding and engagement rings from Pandora. It made me so livid I thought I'd share the cost of my wedding and engagement rings.
TW: mention of ectopic pregnancy/child loss.
James and I were never going to get married. I didn't think he was the marrying type, and I didn't know if I was either. But then in 2011 the little nugget I had growing inside me turned out to be growing in my fallopian tube, and before we knew it I was passed out almost bleeding to death in a hospital bathroom after my fallopian tube burst. After the ectopic pregnancy, and after a bit of gentle prodding from our married friends in Sweden who knew the deepening bonds that marriage creates, we decided to tie the knot. We had no savings, but they gave us some financial help to get us on our way, and later others did too, but even so the whole wedding was done on an extreme budget.
There was no great romantic proposal. I'd had open emergency surgery and a large wound (similar to a caesarian) so James had just helped me get comfortable in bed when we started talking about it. At first it felt stupid, made us giggly. Us? Get married? HAHAHA. But that turned into why not, and that turned into fuck it, let's do it. It gave me something to focus on other than pain and loss.
My engagement ring cost £10. It's silver with cubic zirconia. It has 7 stones in the shape of a flower, and 2 on either side. 7 and 4. I was born on April 7th. Neither of us were actually planning to wear wedding rings. We bought very cheap 'show' wedding rings for on the day to make things easier, but we had no intention of ever wearing them. But after we'd got married, we both felt different. We felt closer, and we wanted to wear rings. My wedding ring was a few mm wide, and because I have tiny hands* I couldn't bend my finger, so I went searching on eBay for a cheap replacement. I couldn't find anything at all that thin in white gold or silver so I bought a stainless steel ring of about 1.5mm wide for around £2. James bought himself a tungsten carbide ring in black for about £25. It's really thick and weighs a ton, and it suits his rock dude self.
James wants to buy me a replacement engagement ring at some point, but I won't want him to spend over £100. I'm notorious for losing things, and I'd hate to lose an expensive ring. But more than that, our love can't be defined by a monetary figure. It's worth more than all the money in the world. I'd never expect him to lay out a couple of months wages just so I can tell people I'm worth thousands of pounds of ring. Our love is bigger than any rock I could put on my finger, even one from Pandora, lol. (And for the record, I love Pandora!) Concentrate on the love, not bullshit status symbols. Whatever you spent on your rings, as long as you're happy everyone else can go whistle. 😉
If you're engaged, married or in a civil partnership, how do you feel about the price of rings?
Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo
*I had the smallest hands in my whole class at senior school, strange fact fans.
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