I have a bit of a reflective post today, which I've broken up with silly gifs so you don't feel too much sewious.
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I've written before about my love of shopping, but in the past I felt I could control it somewhat. I've been kidding myself - I'm totally out of control. When the postman comes I have 5 seconds of excitement about the new things which came, and then I'm totally disgusted with myself.
Something needs to change. I'm powerless over my urges.
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We live in a consumerist society, and blogging is often extremely materialistic. I'm surrounded by temptation everywhere I look, and my poor impulse control means I go for it and worry about the consequences later, even though I know I'll regret it. The flat is chock-a-block with my clothes, shoes, bags and make up. Blogging was always supposed to be about sharing the things I bought and showing myself using/wearing them, but the rate of my spending has become so ridiculous I have no hope in hell of blogging about everything.
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I don't get to enjoy much of what I buy as I'm so guilty about it. Often I THINK I want something more than I actually do. I have enough lotions and potions around the house to sink a battle ship. I have enough make up and nail polish to last me 20 years. The only thing I buy which I actually get any real use out of is clothes. That helps me narrow it down a bit - I don't need any more toiletries (other than things I will run out of, like deodorant/toothpaste etc), nor make up or nail polish. Will it stop me wanting more? Hell no.
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I've often wondered why I am the way I am, and I have a few theories which I mentioned in another post about spending here. Since that post I've noted my trigger time for spending - it's late at night. I stay up later than my husband and that's usually when I do my naughty spends. If I go to bed at the same time as hubby I'll have less opportunity to spend.
So, what's the plan?
Get my husband to change my PayPal password so I can't use it for quick spends any more. ✓
Use his PayPal account so I can be accountable to him - this (hopefully) should make me spend less.
Keep a strict spending diary so I can see (and be disgusted by) what I spend.
Fall in love with the things I already have - root through my wardrobes and drawers, dig out some unloved make up and nail polish.
Wish more and spend less - every time I get an urge to buy something add it to a weekly wishlist.
The thing that makes it even worse is my hubby is so accommodating. It was my idea to change my PayPal password and he didn't want to do it but I insisted. He knows buying things cheers me up and he likes me to look and feel good. He doesn't want me to stop spending, but he does want me to ramp it back to sensible levels. When we decided we weren't going to have kids (which was mainly because of his feelings about the matter) there was an acknowledgement that my 'pay off' for not being a mum would be a certain amount of materialistic crap to help fill the gap.
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My trouble has always been knowing when enough is enough. Wish me luck in sorting my spending habits out!
Have you ever felt like your spending is out of control? If so, what did you do about it?
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