I had this delightful missive the other day on Tumblr.
A couple of days later I was chatting to someone on Facebook about health and fitness and I said something off the cuff but it made me think of the fat-shaming spunk trumpet on Tumblr. This is what I said:
The older I get the more interested in health I am and the better I take care of myself, because I realise I deserve it.
Sometimes I don't realise how true something is until it falls out of my mouth.
So here's the deal - fat shamers want the right to abuse you for being fat, even if this makes you hate yourself and feel like you're not worth caring about. Then they will shame you for their assumption that you aren't taking care of yourself. (This is where judging on appearances makes an idiot of the judgemental party, but that's a blog for another time.) It's almost as if fat shamers could fully express themselves they'd say "Why don't you care about yourself, fatty? I mean the whole world is inferring you're worthless including me but you really should care about yourself more and do it in a way I approve of."
The world is thin-centric, and most lifelong-thin people are so used to this they don't even know it. From my early childhood onwards I was bombarded with messages implicit and explicit that fat is bad, that I am less than in comparison to thin people. How so? In magazines almost all of the people are thin. On tv and films almost all of the people are thin (unless they're playing a tragic/comic role or are playing a baddie.) In music almost all of the people are thin. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or have anyone vocalise this feeling of being less than (but of course living in a fat body is a lifelong invitation for arseholes to comment on your body anywhere and at any time.)
Fat shamers don't get to have it both ways - they don't get to say we're worthless in one breath and then demand we suddenly pull deep and abiding self-love out of our arses. Looking after ourselves mentally and physically is so easier when we love ourselves, because it's hard work. You don't want to work on something you hate. It has taken me 2-3 years of deliberately surrounding myself with body positive people for me to get to the point where I care about myself enough to take really good care of myself. I've made myself a priority because I deserve to be my first priority. (People with chronic illness really don't have any choice if they have a hope in hell of looking after anyone else in addition to themselves.) I've finally tuned the lifetime of shitty messages out and I won't put myself last any more.
Looking after yourself means something different to every single person but for me it is:
Remembering to take my meds.
Making sure to drink lots of water.
Trying to eat fruit and/or veg with every meal.
Trying to exercise on the days I have enough energy to.
Taking care of my skin.
Cooking more.
More orgasms. ;)
Pampering myself more - manis, pedis, baths, etc etc.
People who feel they can comment on our bodies on the internet and real life with ZERO COMPASSION and then still expect us to jump up and say 'All this hate has sure got me in the mood for looking after myself!' are out of their goddamn tree, but whoever said fat shamers are logical?!
You cannot hate someone for their own good. You can't shame someone into better health (or the assumption someone would be in better health if they did things the same as you.) You cannot tear people down and expect them to rise up.
What do you think about fat shamers?
Thanks for reading.
Leah xoxo
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