S.A.D. times


There are so many good things about Autumn and Winter - Halloween, Bonfire Night, Christmas, cosy nights in watching Strictly in my onesie with a nice cup of tea, walks in the park, autumn leaves, and listening to the rain pelt down the window when I have no intention of going out.


But there are also some really shit things about Autumn and Winter - namely the weather and the lack of daylight. It isn't even lack of sunlight, there's just horrible, dull, piss weak light which doesn't penetrate into the corner of rooms the way sunlight does. I've often joked I'm solar powered but it's true. A sunny day makes me want to bolt out of bed and do things, anything. A grey day makes me want to bury my head under the covers and sleep another hour. Or three.

There's little doubt I've got SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder - and I know it'll only get worse as the days draw shorter and the sun becomes a distant memory. I've had it for years, and it's gone hand in hand with the depression I already have. At this time of year I want to sleep more, I feel unbelievably irritable and I go off my food (yes I'm one of those weird people who loses weight in winter). I also crave booze. I don't indulge as I know that's only going to make things worse, but the urge to blast it all away with a bottle of rosé is strong, and to hell with the agony it'll cause my bladder. (Note: Fibromyalgia is not a friend to your bladder). It also makes me crave chocolate, which doesn't make me feel like I'm being vaginally probed by Freddie Kruger (unlike the vino) so I do indulge in some of that. Reese's Nut Bar, come to mama!

In the years before I was medicated for depression I used St John's Wort to some success, but now I'm medicated for various things to do with Fibromyalgia and CFS it isn't possible. I know I need to see the GP or buy a S.A.D. lamp but right now all I want to do is read, sleep and sleep some more. I also know I need to go out in whatever daylight there is to top up my Vit D, but dragging myself into some sort of approximation of a human being seems like a push too far. So instead I do what all liberated adults do, and whinge about it on the internet. ;) At least my sense of humour still lives!

Do you have S.A.D.? If so, do you have any tips to help me survive the grotty months? If not, send alcohol and chocolate! :)

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

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