Recent make up and nails, and a health update

Hiya pickles!

I thought I'd post a recent make up and nail look I did in the absence of other things. Again, my skin isn't Photoshopped (I don't even have Photoshop, I use Corel Paint Shop Pro - ha) it's a mixture of camera flash, ELF HD powder and my new regime.

I used colours from the Sleek Au Naturelle palette on my eyes, a Fashionista brow kit and foundation and a £1 red MUA lipstick, which is a pinky red which photographs more pink.

The nails are two ELF shades, a pearly colour called Moonlight, and a sparkly one called Twinkle. I used one coat of Moonlight and about 4 of Twinkle. Neither colour is still available as ELF have reformulated their nail polishes, but you could easily do something like this at home with a nude polish and a sparkle top coat. I think of this as sparkles on snow.


I've been feeling really ill recently, much more so than usual. Regular readers will know I've been struggling with insomnia for a couple of months, but I've been on the slide since June. I'm sleeping more hours now, in fits and starts. I can go to sleep any time from 11pm to 8 am but I don't sleep through - I wake up a few times and can't get back to sleep for an hour or two each time. Depending on how long the periods of wakefulness are and how often I wake, I can still be in bed after sundown some days. On a rare day when I'm up in daylight, I forgo all else and take photos for the blog. Because my sleep is so broken and unfulfilled I need a nap every evening, so I spend a huge amount of time every day laying down. I've lost my appetite almost entirely and am forcing down one meal and a snack every day to keep myself going. I'm pretty sure I'm malnourished (oh the irony - a fat malnourished person!) as I've had deep splits in the corners of my mouth for about 6 weeks now. The thought of food actually makes me feel sick most of the time and I've become so weak. My asthma has got much worse and even bending over knocks the wind out of me. I feel like the life is slowly draining out of me and the stress of getting everything ready for Christmas isn't helping.

I usually love Christmas, but this year it's too much. I've cut back on posts because I have no energy, although I do have a few Christmas outfits to share. Christmas is a time where we dart about here, there and everywhere to see as many people as possible, but I fear I'm going to be spending most of my time asleep. Is this it for me? Has the CFS/ME got worse? Is this my new reality? I hope not. I'm scared. I'm struggling. I'm worried I might soon need a carer or a cleaner - I can't do it all any more. I haven't discussed this possibility with my husband but there's a very real fear I've crossed the line into needing care, and I don't know if I should be fighting this with every fibre of my being in the hope I can make myself stronger, or give in. There's so much loss with chronic illness, and right now I've lost the ability to look after myself and my home. I feel so sad right now, but am hoping for better days.

Thanks for listening.

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